Living in the limelight, the universal dream

Veronica arrived home from  ten day trip Kripalu last Sunday feeling under the weather. Things rapidly went downhill from there. She ended up in bed for the next several days. I left work on Wednesday and took her to the doctor. Diagnosis: the flu. Well, actually, we're not totally sure, seeing how the results still haven't come back. Anyhow, if it was the flu, it wasn't the full on assault like the type I'm used to; no coughing or sore throat but every other symptom.

So that sucked, but she got better by the weekend and we took the opportunity to take it easy. We skipped out on her extended family's holiday party and lounged around like a pair of house cats. We read, napped, fooled around, watched movies (weird ones: Guy Maddin's My Winnipeg & Careful, the crazy Japanese psyschedelic haunted house story aptly titled House, and Neal Breen's Double Down, an unintentionally hilarious and strangely dreamy B movie). I worked on some music, she studied Ayurveda. It was our first weekend in a while that we were together or didn't have social commitments. The only time we went out was Saturday night. We went to Porter Sq. for some groceries and walked over to Christopher's for dinner.

I'm excited to see the new Star Wars movie, but getting tickets has been nearly impossible. I had hoped to see it with Spira, but she didn't want to accommodate Veronica's schedule and went by herself. Oh, well, I understand. It's a big event. Maybe V and I will go this week. Might be tough with Christmas rapidly approaching.

We'll stay at her parent's place on Christmas eve and then head to my grandmother's and then to my mom's on Christmas. It'll be a busy day, but I'm excited to spend it with her; it's our first Christmas together and thus it'll be special, I expect.

We're having our Christmas party at work today. It'll be my last; kind of sad, but I'm ready to move on. Only a  couple of more weeks.

Ok, I'm out. Hope to be back soon.

When love was the means and you were the end

A little over a week ago I was sitting at my desk at work ruminating whether it was time for me to move on. We'd been slow since before Thanksgiving; I had plenty of time to ruminate. Well before that, though, the thought of leaving had taken seed. As much as I appreciated the healthy work environment, I was feeling more and more stagnant, restless. There is zero upward mobility at my job and, despite receiving a slightly more than modest raise last year, the pay is too low. And the work had become rote, bordering on tedious; it had become increasingly difficult to be enthusiastic. So, I sat there thinking about these things. And then I got a text from Foley.

He wanted to meet up and discuss a job offer. I knew he had taken on his father's pension appraisal company a year or two ago and that it was starting to really take off. I met with him over coffee last Saturday and he offered me a job doing appraisals at close to double the pay I'm making now. I'd first need to come by their new office space in Woburn to meet with his father, who's soon to retire, but he made it clear the job was mine. His sister Mary, who I've lost touched with, but was close with in the past, and our friend Ken had been on board for awhile; I was looking forward to seeing them again.

I left work early yesterday and interviewed with Foley's dad for a bit. He formally offered me the job and I accepted gladly. I left feeling grateful for the gifts that have come my way. I'll be working with at least two of my closest friends in a small scale work environment and making a lot more money; I'll be carpooling with Foley (he lives a couple of blocks away) and won't have to worry about my car so much; I'm recently engaged. Life is good.

All of this happened while Veronica was away (she comes home tomorrow), but she's been so supportive (she's supportive no matter what I'm doing) and happy for me. Our life together is starting off well. With more financial security between my new job and her teaching, which is starting to boom, we've been discussing things like getting a dog (we're going to get a greyhound thanks to Missy D just about ruining us for all other dogs) and saving money for a new place (we'll stay here as long as we can because of the location and low rent). It'll be such a relief not having to stress about money all the time.

Yesterday marked the three year anniversary of my dad's passing; it was nice having something joyous to discuss with my mother on an otherwise somber day for her. She knows it hasn't always been easy for me in this life. Her joy was palpable.

I'm grateful for the positive changes in my life but I do not chalk them up to mere luck. No, I manifested these changes willfully. Leading up to meeting Veronica, I tweaked a few things about myself that were holding me back from getting what I've always wanted in life and after that, everything fell into the place. We create our realities, magic is real. I know this from experience and honestly don't give a single shit whether you think otherwise.

Well, I should wrap this up. Going to practice yoga for a bit and then maybe finish watching Bergman's The Magician. I'll probably also read from a collection of Susan Sontag essays I just purchased. Or maybe I'll wonder about the Mandela effect and whether it really used to be the Berenstein Bears and not the Berenstain Bears like it is now. Look it up. For the record, I think we can chalk a lot of what constitutes the the Mandela Effect up to the infallibility of the human mind. Look it up and decide for yourself.

Bye, bitches.

You walk, surrounded by the stars, for many days

Veronica's been away since the end of last week. She's teaching at Kripalu until Sunday. The separation has been  slightly more difficult for her than for me, I think, and that, I surmise, is because I'm at home and still immersed in the comfort of my usual routines while she's sleeping in a bunk bed away from hers. Still, being apart is a drag, particularly because we are recently engaged and are coming off a nice mini vacation.

Engaged? Well, look, I've been away from this blog for a spell and a bunch has happened, including getting engaged to Veronica. The best I can offer is some back story here and there, but it can't happen all at once. This bonnie lad does not have the time for that.

Our story, how we came to be engaged, has been told by us, together and apart, briefly and at length to a lot of people. It's been a trip and, consequently, I've been preoccupied with the whole thing, the changes that have come about. Without doubt, I have found my soul mate. We both knew it right away, before we met in person. Hell, we knew something was up before our first phone call! Afterward, I stood in my mother's bathroom for about twenty minutes in a dopey haze, wondering what had just happened.And days before we met I ended a post in this blog that conveyed I was on the precipice of some positive changes.

It was in the air.

Because our union took form so quickly and cohesively, it has had a surreal cast to it. We weren't sure how people would react, whether they'd think we were insane. Thankfully, most everyone has been supportive and happy for us (there's one sour apple, which is a bummer,but I'm not dwelling on it). In fact, a lot of people have nodded their heads and said things to the effect of "when it's right, things fall together quickly and effortlessly". Overall, it doesn't matter what anyone thinks, but it's nice when what they think is favorable.

Alright, freaks, I've got an agenda for the night and it involves less blogging.

See ya!

I can see its lucidity so clear

Ah, the Paris attacks, etc. Dark activities. The world becomes more and more surreal to me; I don't trust official narratives, cognitive dissonance abounds. Fear is distributed and lapped up in higher and higher doses.The Hegelian Dialectic courses through our collective veins. And yet, for all the deception and fear mongering, I see more and more people starting to question what we're being fed. And, no matter what, love shines through it all. How can it not? We are in the Kali Yuga cycle but love is ever present and abiding, even when it seems it isn't. That is why I tune out the noise and try to project love, levity, compassion. Take care of the micro and the macro will follow suit. Or, free your mind and your ass will follow. Or some shit.

Anyway

Veronica and I had a busy weekend. We went to my mom's on Saturday for some raking and gutter cleaning. We took her out for Vietnamese food afterward. It took some gentle coaxing, but she ended up liking it quite a bit. From there, we went to the H Mart in Burlington and loaded up on Asian food. On Sunday, we went to Norwood to pick up some of her belongings at her storage unit and at her house. Busy weekend, but gratifying.

Veronica's birthday is coming up and it'll be a challenge getting her something since we're together almost all of the time. I'll figure something out. Hopefully, if the planets align just right, we'll be getting our tattoo bracelets on her birthday. It'll be our first day house sitting at Spira's while she's in Iceland; it'll be a short walk to Skin Art. We're excited to see what Janelle comes up with design-wise.

Ok, lovers. Enough out of me for one day. Time to move on to other, sexier, things.

Hustle bones coming out my mouth

A great weekend. V and I took a relaxed approach to it; we walked to Union Sq. Saturday morning and got some doughnuts at Union Sq. Doughnuts  (salted caramel and bourbon was a highlight, but they all were) and coffee at Bloc 11.We lounged around the remainder of the day. I worked on music, we read, pursued amorous impulses,etc. Later on, we went out for dumplings and soup, visited our local adult store, hit Whole Foods for some supplies and baked treats (it was a decadent day it seems).

We talked about where we might like to move to in the spring and hashed out wedding ideas (didn't take long to arrive at what we want). We're so well matched; our decision making is smoother and quicker than I've experienced with anyone else. Ever.

Last night we sat and listened to the new Julia Holter record (holy shit it's transcendent!) and made a tasty lentil soup. We're passing two months as a couple and each day we love each other more.If this is the honeymoon period, I'm glad we took an extended one. I know at least a couple of you do not want to hear any of this, are not happy for my situation, but I don't really care. I'm with the love of my life and don't have time for what the kids like to call haters.

Oh, I could go on.

Time is short, though, so I'm out of here.

Bye, lovers!

All I want to do is get high on the beach

It's a slow day at work and here I am writing a blog. Bad boy, but not too bad; I'm spacing this out and not stealing too much company time all at once.At least that's how I'm choosing to rationalize it.

Anyway

It's been a while since my last post. Being in a relationship, a full time for reals one, has shaken up my routine. Not in a bad way, no, but coming from years of bachelorhood, it's been an adjustment. Hence the infrequent posts. Well, there's also been a general lack of motivation to keep this blog going, I must admit. Don't despair, readers, I'm here now and all is right in the universe. Or not. Who am I to say?

Amanda works at my office now or, more aptly put, again. She used to work here years ago and now she's back. It's been great having her here. Lots of laughs, etc.Ah, but when the winter is over, things will be different.

Veronica is making a meal of white fish, roasted sweet potatoes, and sauteed spinach tonight. Should be ready by the time I walk into the door. It's a great thing having a partner who is a chef among other things. I've been eating like royalty. Not a bad way to start the weekend.

Alright, I'm going to wrap this up. Don't feel right doing this at work so....

I'll be back, lovers. Ciao!

Stumbling over melted moonlight

Yeah, so clearly there's been a gap between my last post and this one that's fairly sizable. Well, there are reasons for that, one of which is that I've been preoccupied with Veronica. Who is Veronica? She's the love of my life, the one I'll eventually marry.

Aside from two blocks of time she was away (the last trip, a meditation retreat in PA with no cell phone service was a long five days for the both of us) we've been inseparable.

How did we meet? The answer to that will have to be piecemeal, if proffered at all. There's a lot to cover and I'm not sure I have the ambition to attempt it all in one post. So, we'll see.

It will have to suffice that we knew right away, even before we met in person, that this was going to be special. And it has been. She's everything I've ever wanted, and more, in a mate. She tells me the same is true with me and I believe her.

Amore.

I'll be back, dear readers.

Hold on, Yoko, Yoko hold on, It's going to be alright

A lengthier hiatus than usual. My apologies to those of you who enjoy reading from this blog and lucky you to those of you who find it a tedious affair all around.

Anyway

I'm just checking in,  but I wanted to let you know I'm still among the living. I plan on writing a proper post in the next few days. Big changes in my life. Good ones!

See you soon, lovers

If I ain't dead already, girl you know the reason why

Within the last several minutes I've had some dealing with synchronicity. Perhaps because of Robert Anton Wilson. No, probably because of Robert Anton Wilson. Who is he? Well, real quick: He was an author, among other things, and wrote trippy novels about the Illuminati, the Occult - that sort of thing. He's been described as an occultist Tom Robbins. I'm just now starting to read his books, though I've interested in his works for years. Guess the timing was finally right.

I spent some time over the last couple of days researching which of his books I wanted to start with. It became a toss up between Masks of The Illuminati and The Illuminati Trilogy. The former caught my attention first. It's basically a detective novel with Einstein and James Joyce investigating the Illuminati with Aleister Crowley as the antagonist. Now if that doesn't scratch me where I itch, I don't know what does. I'm knee deep in Purdurabo, the excellent and comprehensive Crowley biography, so I'm already riding that frequency. I chose the Illuminati Trilogy in the end. It's widely considered his masterpiece and a lot less linear than MoTI, which, I've come to understand, is the case with most of his other books.

In the midst of my research I came across a customer review that warned readers of accompanying synchronicities. Fine with me, I thought. So here I am about fifty pages in the book. I began it last night. I think it's going to be a wild ride.

Back to tonight's bout of synchronicity. I was listening to a Duncan Trussell podcast. It had been well over a week since I last listened to one of his. He was in a conversation with Dr. Drew and the comedian Fred Stoller about the mind and brought up Robert Anton Wilson. I've been listening to his podcasts for a few years and don't recall a single reference to that man. There may well have been, of course, but that doesn't take away from the fact that I just started reading RAW last night and the very next day he's mentioned. Duncan described RAW's theory of reality, which is basically that we're in a simulation that allows us to experience limitation. And synchronicities, he said, were just the guys in the control room sending you winks, little reminders that you're actually one being and everything is a-ok.

Anyway


I have a special connection with the DT podcast. Whatever I seem to be going through at the time I listen to an episode is almost always addressed. We're on the same frequency, dude.


Alright, a frustrating day. Uncertain about a lot of things, but that's a big chunk of life, so it's not a huge deal. However, the type of uncertainty I'm feeling is the walking the razor's edge type, which is not a pleasant experience. It does offer hope and insight, which is always a gift. I feel like I'm on the brink of some changes. Good ones, I think, but what do I know.

Lies and betrayals, fruit covered nails

I'm about to go for a long walk. I'll probably end up at spy pond. I'm going to inhale several puffs of applewood cherry tobacco and get going. I need to let loose some negative energy and hopefully regain my center in the process. It's been an interesting but practically bipolar week; presently I'm at the low end of the spectrum. I don't like it. I've taken measures that have led me to balance in the past. I've hit the mat, I've meditated; I'm re-reading the Gita. And there's this walk I'm about to take.

But first how I got here.

Kira and I had our second date last Saturday night. I believe, and I think she does, too, that it went well. We had a sushi dinner at Fuji's in Assembly Row and then we walked over to the Beer Garden, a hip outdoor bar that serves home-brewed beer (yes, there were skinny jeaned, bearded folk about; strange, I know, but true). We met around 6 and we didn't leave until around 2. The night flew by. Under oath, I'd swear we were together an hour or two.

I learned she's a lefty like me and that she has a good friend that shares both my first and last name. Our banter and level of comfort was easy and relaxed, as if we were on our fifth date rather than our second. She found my wallet in the bathroom. I'd gone in right before her and it must have slipped out of my pocket. I had no idea it was gone until she came over and said "Look what I found!".  Thinking about it later on, I came to the conclusion that it's not crazy to think that was a good sign. At the very least, it's hard to view it as a bad sign.At one point I  proved to her that Spoon Man is indeed on Soundgarden's Superunknown, contrary to her protestations that it wasn't, and then gently suggested she draft some sort of apology letter to me. She said she would do no such thing. We laughed.

It was a fine night. Our last hour or so was spent in her car. When we parted, I asked if I could kiss her on the cheek. After I received approval, I planted one on her. I told her I thought she looked very pretty.When I got home I buzzed with the high energy of the stout breeze of possibility. I hadn't had that feeling in a very long time. I'd been diligent about keeping at bay flights of fancy, but I let myself have this one. As I said, it had been a long time. I deserved it.

At one point in my reverie, I laughed and said "Damn, something could be happening here!" And why not? Our commonalities span a broad range; we would be talking about Ann Lamott (her wonderful writing) one minute and Alice In Chains the next (re: the merits of Dirt).

And there have been synchronicities, some quietly perceptible, some potently assertive. I won't get into all of that....not yet.


Yesterday afternoon I got a text from Kira that got me thinking this wasn't going to work, that, once again, that I had been dealt another disappointment. I'll tell you right off that bat that nothing in the text should have provoked such a thought, but there it was. It was mildly annoying at its worst, but it grew fangs and possessed me outright.The devilry!

As all of this was happening, I put to use the fruits of my spiritual practice and observed in as detached a manner as I could. "Become the witness" was the mantra. It was tough at first; I was ensorcelled with lies and half truths. It took some effort to get to the point where I could simply observe what has happening. Possessed, indeed!

The obsessive thinking didn't abate, in fact it carried over into today. Quite a storm. Still, I continued observing my behavior and slowly began to see clearly how far astray from the truth I had gone, how the mind can trick and distort. And now I will go for a long walk and look the devil right in the eye and let it know I will get through this.

Post script. I'm back from my walk, in fact it's the following evening. The walk was just what I needed. I got the blood flowing, there was gentle quietude, there were moments of clarity. The tension that had manifested in my body from all that low energy dissipated once observed and held under scrutiny.

I made it to spy pond just after sunset. There were about ten people present and no one spoke. We all just sat or stood and gazed upon the pond, felt nurtured by the silence. On my way back, I felt a swell of determination that, no matter how it turned out with Kira, I was going to find my mate. I thought about the type of relationship I want and, let me tell you, it doesn't feature a guy who becomes unhinged at any provocation, real or imagined. So if I want to manifest a loving, healthy, long term relationship, it can never be until I get past my fears and insecurities.

I'm not about to declare that I won't have anymore experiences like this, I'm human and fallible and not yet a buddha, but I did the right thing and used this one as a learning tool. I feel renewed, fortified, clearheaded, and determined. I minimized something that would have drastically reduced my chances of entering into a fruitful relationship with Kira or anyone else.

Anyway

I got a text from Kira this morning. It was a pleasant one; no indication she wants to bail. If I was still under the spell of bullshit, I wonder if I would have interpreted it differently. She's off to San Francisco this weekend. We'll see each other next week. Where are we headed with this? I don't know. We're off to a good start but who knows what's around the bend. We could be done after our next date or she could end up being my wife. But look here: the future is a mystery, baby, and as real as I make it out to be in my mind, it's just an illusion.

As Ram Dass has been know to say, be here now.

It's the only sane thing you can do. 

Namaste, bitches

Ladyfinger dipped in moonlight, writing "What for" across the morning sky

Not too bad for a Monday but I was clock watching too much and consequently the day dragged a bit. We've been very busy at work lately and today was the first day in a while I wasn't swamped. I liked the challenge of having to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. And, boy did the days fly by. Today, not so much. Hey, it happens.

I ended my month long stint at Spira's last week. I sure miss living with Missy D but it's also kind of nice not having to rush home every day to take her out. Getting to sleep in a little bit this weekend was nice, too. Still, the idea of moving out and moving on has been gnawing away at me. I like my roommates when I see them (Fred is next door at his girlfriend's place a lot and Andrew is either in his room or away somewhere) but I crave a cleaner, more spacious environment. Sure, the rent is tough to beat, especially in these parts, but I can't stay here forever. It'll take some planning, but the time is nigh.

Janelle and I took Pooch Edward Bottoms to the dog beach in Nahant early yesterday. It was fun; Pooch Edward tried to school a lot of the youngins but he didn't pursue it too far. "I'm getting too old for this shit" is what he might have said if he had a grasp of the English language and the proper vocal cords to speak. Always fun being around a lot of dogs. Afterward, we ventured into Cambridge and got some smoothies at Berryline. Dee-lish!

In the afternoon, I walked into Davis Sq. for a date with Kira, my second date through Tinder. After my last experience, which wasn't so great, and the dubious sincerity of many of the users of the app, I tried not to get my expectations to high, despite having developed a good rapport with Kira through our few days of texting. I found her appealing in a multitude of was. She's a yoga instructor, spiritual, a fan of music (her dad is a retired Berklee instructor), has a good sense of humor, is a social worker (she deals with some hard cases in East Boston), and, at least judging by the pictures she posted, attractive.

Pictures. I was hoping they were an approximate reflection of what she actually looked like. When I met Rachel, she looked like a different person than the ones in her pictures. Unfortunately, I wasn't attracted to the version I met. And, not for nothing, but it's not cool being deceptive like that right out of the gate. I kept that experience in mind as I walked into Davis to meet Kira.

I sat outside Starbucks for a few minutes before she arrived. When she did, I was relieved. She was prettier in person. It may seem like I'm hung up on looks, but it's not the case. I do, however, think it's natural and healthy to expect to be physically attracted to someone you might date (well,duh!) and, to be sure, I was attracted to Kira.

We walked over to The Burren and had our date. It lasted five hours. There was a nice connection. We laughed, shared stories, got to know each other. When it ended, I walked her back to her car and told her I'd love to see her again and asked if she would be open to that. She said yes and it sounded more enthusiastic than courteous. She gave me a hug and we parted ways. I wore a dopey smile the rest of the walk home.

I'm enlivened, still buzzing a bit, but also heeding the voice that says "Let's not get ahead of ourselves, buddy". Look, it seems like we've got a good foundation to work from, but you never know what will happen. I feel good about this, but I've got to stay present and not get mired in expectations and daydreaming. That's the plan anyway.

While I haven't done much in the way of vacationing this summer, it's been a gratifying one. I'm surrounded by good people on a daily basis and I feel lighter, not weighted down by worry or other shit that weakens. Meditation and yoga are more life affirming than any drug. I feel the difference. Sure, I've got stuff of the unsavory sort I need to take care of, but I'm coming at it from a more resourceful state.

Oh, and I love my new tattoo. I'm already planning the next one.

Ciao!

Such a long, long time to be gone and short time to be there

I managed to restart Spira's laptop after some weird delays and now it's operating at normal speed. This is good because when I need to type more than a few sentences, it helps having a user-friendly keyboard. The iPad and the iPhone, well they're great for a lot of things, but typing not so much.

I'm meeting up with Ed later today. He's going to make some adjustments to my tattoo. He had neglected to add some color to certain parts and some of the line work could use some tightening up. I  was talking to Kelly at the ROD the other day and she said, "That must have really hurt getting that tattoo".  The truth is, it didn't really. Sure, it stung a little, but I actually liked how it felt. Or, to put it more aptly, there was a slight euphoria during the process which could be attributed to the excitement I felt having it done combined with the high of dopamine or whatever neurochemical high my brain enacted as a result of the mild trauma my arm was experiencing. Now, if I were to get a tattoo on a less fleshy part of my body like my foot or collarbone, well,  then I might be in for some deeper pain.

My summer reading list so far:

The War of Art
Hostage To The Devil
Lonesome Dove
Quiet
The Trembling of A Leaf: Little Stories of The South Sea Islands

I started reading Hostage To The Devil yesterday and I'm pretty sure I won't be reading it at night. Exorcisms are spooky stuff.

More people live in Spira's building and the ones near it these days which means I see more people whenever I take Missy D out for a walk. Spira will talk to everyone she meets. She'll stop and chat, share life histories, hopes and dreams - the whole bag. Me, I'm affable in my way, but I'm also an introvert and that type of interaction drains me of energy more than it increases it (reading Quiet has been illuminating insofar as it makes feel better about not being super gregarious all the time. I yam what I yam, son!).

So everyday when I walk Missy I'm forced to interact with people, some I know a little, some not at all.   I'm okay with it, more or less, because I don't want to be completely withdrawn, but it can be a bit much stepping into a packed elevator on a groggy work day morning with people who seem wide awake and talkative. I've gotten better over the years, but I'll never be a morning person.


Anyway

The morning passes quickly and I'd like to get started with the day. See you soon, rascals.

Dog tell the moon, dog tell the march.

I'm typing this on my iPad mini because Spira's laptop, despite being a top of the line Mac,is slow as fuck. So I'm henpecking.

I'll keep this brief because if I don't I'll be here all night. Here are some things that happened since my last post.

I've been sick for almost two weeks. I'm going through the coughing phase. The fact that I sit under an AC vent at work hasn't helped. It's probably what got me sick.

I finally got my new tattoo. Took about three hours. I'm not sure I have a high tolerance for pain, but I kind of like the feeling of getting a tattoo. This one is a mandala my friend Janelle designed. It's on my arm and much bigger than the first ones I got. My grandmother was the first family member to see it. She very nearly scolded me for having it done. She's 97, but that doesn't give her license to be insulting. Overall, it's garnered compliments. It needs some additional work; probably get it done next week.

Ok, Missy D is whining and needs some attention. In case you haven't figured it out, I'm at Spira's taking care of said Missy D for a few weeks while Spira is in Hawaii surfing and shit.

Peace, motherfuckers!

Maybe the sun is shining, birds are winging, no rain is falling from a heavy sky

As I've stated before, I've entered the world of online dating via the Tinder app on my phone. I wasn't under the assumption I'd find an abundance of women I found appealing, but I also didn't figure there would be a scarcity. I was hoping to find at least some women who seemed artistic, unconventional, weird, spiritual,  peaceful. Not many to be found, as it turns out.

I matched with a woman named Rachel fairly early on. Judging by her photos, she was not cut from the same generic cloth as so many of the other profiles I was checking out were. In a couple of the pics she had short hair and dressed like someone more likely to be found at a Pixies show than a Red Sox game.  No mention of running the Warrior Dash, no tall guy requirements (an good portion of the profiles I've been checking out state explicitly that short men, basically anyone under 5' 11", will be passed over without a thought), no pictures of her at a sporting event (just about every profile includes beer toasting pics at a Red Sox or Patriots game).

A good start.

We began communicating through text and continued to do so for about a week and a half. We had a good rapport and, at least on paper (or screen), we seemed to be a good match. We hatched a plan to meet this past Friday night at The Burren in Davis Sq.

As Friday approached, it began to seem like the Universe was throwing tiny wrenches in the works. I woke up Wednesday with a scratchy throat that continued all day and developed into a pretty rad head cold (that has subsequently moseyed on down to my chest). I NEVER get sick this time of year. Not like this. And I don't believe I brought on the illness through stress or lack of sleep; I've been taking very good care of myself and wasn't stressed in the least about the date; I was looking forward to it. I didn't get too discouraged but had to wonder at the timing.

On Friday, just as I was about ready to walk over to Davis, the toilet backed up and flooded the bathroom. Another event that has NEVER happened to me, not while living in this house. I managed to fix things with the plunger and hurriedly mopped up, but now I was running late. I wasn't really bothered by what happened - it was actually kind of funny - but again, I had to wonder at the timing.

When I got to The Burren, Rachel was waiting for me; she had just arrived. I barely recognized her. Right away it was clear that the pics she posted were from a while ago; she looked older and was about twenty pounds heavier. I wasn't totally unprepared for something like this - I'm aware that people don't always represent themselves as they currently appear - but it took my brain, which had taken the images I'd had available and created an approximation of what she might look like, a few moments to process.

We found a table outside and ordered drinks. The conversation didn't really flow at first, mostly because my brain was still trying to adjust to this person who looked radically different from her photos (I even begun to wonder if she had posted pictures of her sister or cousin - it's possible). I wasn't angry, didn't feel betrayed, but I wasn't attracted to her at all and felt bad that she felt the need to misrepresent herself. I imagine it might take her a while to meet a guy when she's deceptive right out of the gate.

I don't put a huge emphasis on looks, but  they matter to me. Whether it's based on conditioning, I'm attracted to the women I'm attracted to but it's a wide array: short, tall, slim, chunky, young, old, etc. But I wasn't attracted to Rachel, so that was that. We had a pleasant dinner and got to know each other a bit. At 9:30 we parted ways. I walked home feeling the pangs of another disappointment. I honored the feeling by not attemting to stifle it.

I came home, smoked a little, and listened to American Beauty. I think it will happen, I think I'll pair with someone special and it will feel like coming home for both of us. Could happen anytime.

Goodnight

Nancy, Nancy, sing me a song, something to make my hair grow long

The weekend turned out well in retrospect. You can tell by the tone of my last post that I wasn't quite in a positive state when I wrote it. That is alright because that's what happens in life. Anyway, even as I was going through it, I was still being mindful, taking notes and all the while adhering to the unassailable phrase "This too shall pass". I was listening to a Ram Dass talk the other night in which he told a story about a king who employs a monk to make him something that would make him happy when he he was feeling poorly. The monk returned a week later with a ring that had the inscription "This too shall pass".  The king loved it, but failed to realize the same would hold true when he was feeling happy. Everything changes, the good and the bad and the in between.

Pat came by yesterday and we had a productive practice. I recently suggested to the group that we modify the way we practice by splitting them up: I would practice with Pat one day, practice with Janelle and Michelle on another, and then we'd all practice together. That way I'd be able to workshop the vocals without Pat having to sit there and wait, and vice versa. So far, so good.


Ok, I'm going to possibly watch the movie Her, daydream about the tattoo I hope to have placed on my arm, call Rachel and talk to her for the first time, work on music, read.....who knows.


Bye

Are you going away with no word of farewell, will there be not a trace for me to find

I haven't been playing music much lately, but I'm coming back around to it. It was a good several weeks before I picked up a guitar. Why, I'm not exactly sure. Well, if I ruminate on it, and I have a little, I can come up with a few reasons, but here is not the forum for such things. Why, sure it is, you say, but whatever.

Sometimes I feel like I'm not meant to get this tattoo. Seriously, out of the blue, I keep getting saddled with more expenses. I was hoping to have had it already, but now it's looking like it won't happen for at least the next several weeks, maybe longer. Who knows, maybe the gods will favor me and a way will be found sooner. Michelle showed us her beautiful new work in progress chest tattoo last night at practice and it got me pining; ah, patience, young man. Patience.

I've been communicating pretty regularly with Rachel, the woman I met through Tinder. So far it's only been through text; hopefully we'll meet up soon. I'd been feeling pretty positive about the dating situation, but lately I've been reminded in multitudinous ways that perhaps, due mostly to my financial situation and other hang ups, I probably shouldn't get my hopes up. Oh, I don't know; not trying to be negative, but it is what it is, to use an incredibly over used phrase.

Seems like even the simplest things get all muddied up and convoluted. You know what, I'm not liking where this post is headed. I've been eating healthier than ever, meditating and practicing yoga regularly, going for long walks, haven't smoked pot in weeks, meeting new women, but yet I feel lonely, empty. Well, that's right now. This too shall pass. Or something like that.

Ok, well time to put a stop to this. I'm supposed to be practicing with Pat today, but something tells me he's going to bail. We'll see. If not, I'll figure something else out. I will not be sedentary, that is for damn sure. I'll get active, which is the most effective way out of the doldrums.

Take that to the bank, motherfuckers!

Doctor pays a visit every day, I keep asking for my dad, he must think I'm going mad

I started using the Tinder dating app over the weekend. Real user friendly and took almost no effort to launch. I've had a few matches and have been in contact with one of them, but a lot of the profiles I'm seeing don't interest me very much. That's what I get for being such a freak of nature. Or something like that.

We'll see how it goes. If something good comes out of it, great. If not, that's fine, too. I will live on. I've been having daily email contact with Jennifer, the woman I met when she interviewed for the apartment. I think eventually we'll meet up, but she's going through a divorce and doesn't wants to keep contact on the DL until things clear up. Fine with me. I'm not too invested at this point, although her recent emails have been a bit steamier and that's not such a bad thing. Ah, distractions.

As soon as I get some cash I'm going to get that tattoo Janelle designed for me. It better happen soon or I'm going to be real pouty. Maybe I'll put together a kickstarter campaign.

Another short post  - my apologies - but I've got shit to do, son!

Peace out.

Old concepts go, new ones grow, all at once the world begins to love again

I'm not sure how to describe today because it's almost over and I feel like I gradually became dumber throughout it. Maybe that's not what I'm trying to say, but it's nearing midnight and, according to the logic of my opening sentence, I'm at my dumbest. Or something like that. In addition to the dumbness, everything grew monochromatic and dull as the day progressed. We had practice tonight and it was not an inspired one. Who knows why; probably a bunch of factors. I'll monitor the situation closely. To conclude this paragraph, it was a day I kind of hope oozes from my memory hole forever. Maybe it's because it's a hump day. Could be that pregnant looking moon.

Anyway

It's late and I'm going to be brief. Felt like checking in, though. So, yeah, here I am.

Anyway

Andrew, the new roommate keeps to himself pretty much. He's in his room all the time and keeps conversations briefer than this post will be. While a little social interaction would be preferable, he's pretty much what I hoped for. He's quiet, paid his rent on time....What's not to like?

Alright, pups. I'll try to be more consistent here.

Cheers!

All at once the world begins to love again

It's been an interesting weekend so far.  To wit:

1. I had just gotten home from work on Friday when I received a text from Spira. She was on her way to the emergency room with severe stomach pain.She suspected it had something to do with the hernia operation she had a couple of years ago.

2. I went over to her place to feed and walk Missy D. Spira kept me updated through texts. "Still sitting here". "Still waiting". They didn't get to her for a few hours. What do you expect in the Emergency Rooom? Ha!

3. When they did get to her, they confirmed her suspicion about the hernia: it had popped out. They drugged her up and popped it back in. It was a late night; she didn't get home until well after midnight. She'll need another surgery.

4. Yesterday morning I awoke from a dream in which I was in a paedophile's house and had access to his video library. This guy was an elite member of society and I knew the footage would incriminate him and others, most likely politicians and celebrities. No one was around. I debated whether to watch a video. I knew it wouldn't be pretty, that there would be sexual abuse and violence. Still, I was curious. I mulled it over.....and then I woke up. Glad I didn't pop that tape in the player.

5. This morning I woke from a slightly better dream, albeit equally disturbing. In it, I was at a small club in NH with the band. We were scheduled to perform but the band playing before us played well past their allotted time. We were told we'd have to rush a sound check if we wanted to play. A lot of our friends were there; it was important to us that we should perform. From that point , the dream took on a familiar cast. I went looking for members of the group, my guitar tuner, and who knows what else and kept getting distracted by other people and situations. I eventually found my tuner and, as I was tuning my guitar, I saw Adam sitting near by. I nodded to him but didn't approach; I knew he wanted nothing to do with me. He suddenly got up and excitedly called over his mother and anyone who would listen. He showed them a piece of paper that looked like a work order from my job. "Look! It says 7-5 KC!!", he said. "See, he's trying to get to me!". (July 5th is my birthday and KC are my initials). It bummed me out that someone I once considered to be my best friend, my brother, has been under a sinister glamour that convinces him I am his worst enemy. I woke up. Sadly, that part of the dream was very, very close to the truth.

6. I helped Spira out with stuff yesterday so she could recuperate. In the afternoon, she came up with the idea that we should get foot massages at the Galleria, her treat. I obliged - I've never had a professional foot massage. So off we went. We sat in recliners and got our feet and legs massaged. Since it was a reflexology massage, it wasn't entirely gentle. There were moments of discomfort, to be sure.

7. Andrew moved in yesterday. I hope he works out. On paper, it looks like he will.

8. Somehow, I managed to be creative over the last couple of days. I worked on a song that I'm modifying to fit the band and a couple of other Garage Band pieces I've had kicking around or a while. And, while Spira was sleeping yesterday morning, I recorded an acapella piece I hope will turn into something.

9. Jennifer, the woman I've been corresponding with (she was one of the recent apartment candidates) wrote me this morning about feeling trapped (she's in an uncomfortable post divorce predicament).  It's been weird, because, on the one hand it appears she wants pursue a casual physical relationship with me (and if not me, I hope she pursues one with someone because after all the shit she's told me, she could use a good shagging) and on the other she seems caught up in a self-made web of negativity and folly. I'm not sure how involved I want to get.

10. Today, more music. I'll finish watching the excellent Kurt Cobain: Montage of Heck documentary and maybe do some reading. I need a day to myself and today looks to be the day.

11. Bye, lovers.

Rudolph Valentino is very much alive, he looks up laidies dresses as they sadly pass him by

It's a nice day and I haven't left the house. Sometimes it goes like that, what can I say? I'll take a walk to the store in a bit; that will give me some outdoors time. Happy now?

A lazy day and I needed it. The past week was packed to the gills with all sorts of stuff and having today to recharge the batteries feels necessary. The band had a practice scheduled but poor Janelle is being assaulted by bronchitis and probably shouldn't be singing. I haven't been terribly productive but I did work on music for about an hour, so there's that. I also watched an episode of Game of Thrones. Not sure that counts as productive, but whatever.

Evangeline moved out several days ago and her parting was bittersweet. I'll see her again when she comes back in a few months to retrieve some of her belongings. Andrew will be coming by shortly to pick up his key. He'll be moving in next weekend.

Ignore Emporium played it's first performance last Thursday at SCAT, Somerville's cable access station. One of Pat's friends had offered the gig to us a few weeks ago. We had a good chunk of the evening at our disposal to get a number of songs on tape. It was interesting, to be sure. Everyone we worked with was easygoing, which made for a relaxed atmosphere. That was good because navigating Union Square at 6pm looking for parking was not a relaxing experience for any of us.

We played well, I think - we'll know for sure when the songs are posted in a day or two - but even if we didn't, it was a bit of a rite of passage for us, meeting our first challenge as a band. We went out for a drinks afterward to celebrate. I was a solo musician for a long time; being in a band again feels really good. The chemistry is there for sure, and when we start playing out, which I believe will be sooner than later, I think we're going to be formidable. I was talking to Pat outside after our performance and he said, "Man, I just realized this could really go someplace and it's kind of scary, but it's thrilling, too!" I told him I'm so confident in my songs and the people I play with that all we have to do is just keep playing together and we will most certainly go someplace with this.

Being in a band with people I love has been a long time coming and increasingly gratifying.

I took Missy D for a nice long walk yesterday while Spira was at her yoga teacher training class. That girl is the dog equivalent of a super model. I had at least three people come up to me and comment about how pretty she is. Sadly, they didn't say anything about how pretty I am. Don't worry, I'm used to it. Anyway, it was a good walk. Later, we took a nap together on Spira's bed.

When Spira returned from her class, we walked over to The Cheesecake Factory for dinner. I got the eggplant parm. When it arrived, I realized why it was a bit pricey: there was enough pasta and eggplant on the plate for three or four stout people. I asked the waitress how many people who order the dish clean their plates. "A lot", she said. No wonder so many of us are soft, bloated fucks.

I purchased a couple of albums by The Move yesterday on iTunes. Great band! After several albums and a ton of success in Great Britain, they morphed into ELO. I prefer The Move over ELO. They had more grit and were more folky and progressive.

You ever find yourself in a situation where someone doesn't quite realize that you know more about something than they think you do and they proceed to bullshit you as if you didn't? Of course you have. Well, maybe not of course, but it amounts for some interesting situations.

Alright, puppies, that's all I've got for you.

There's a terror in knowing what this world is about

I finished McMurtry's Zeke & Ned the other day. It's a shade more somber than some of his other westerns, but there was the classic McMurtry humor sprinkled throughout. And, though it wasn't as EPIC as some of his other westerns, it was quite a yarn. I've subsequently moved on to Boone's Lick, another McMurtry western, and I'm enjoying it thoroughly. This one is more of an adventure.I don't ever like to pronounce I have a favorite anything, but if pressed about who my favorite author is, I'd put Larry McMurtry at the top of the heap.

Another busy week and it flew by. After work on Monday I spread some lime at my mom's house and took care of a few other chores. The weather was accommodating, but between all the lime clouding up around me and the focused swarm of flying insects, I longed to be back inside. The spreader I used wasn't very serviceable; it barely lived up to its name. I had to jerk it back and forth as I went to get an even amount of the lime out.

Afterward, I went to Drum Hill and got my haircut. At first, I had my doubts about the woman cutting my hair. It was hard to tell if she was being meticulous or was taking it so slow because she was new to the game and didn't want to make any mistakes. Turned out it was the former, which was a relief. Her attention to detail resulted in a good cut.

She had an undercurrent of mischief about her.  I got the sense that if I got to know her better, I'd see it in action. She was pretty and despite, or perhaps because of, my unkempt post yard work appearance, she seemed like she might be into me on some level. Who knows.

I visited with Amanda a couple of days later. She's been going through some drama and I think it was good for her to have someone to vent  to for a bit. She lives about a mile from my work. Easy commute to her place. I have a few friends that live in Andover now. It's nice having allies around me.

All of us in Ignore Emporium have been busy which made scheduling a practice difficult. We're set to record next week in Union Sq. and want to be prepared. Looks like we'll play tomorrow night. The stakes aren't terribly high for this recording gig so no one's losing their shit.I think we'll acquit ourselves just fine.

I tried to going the humane route with the mice in our kitchen but it didn't work. The no-kill traps I purchased weren't effective - not one mouse took the bait. Unfortunate.Yesterday, with some reluctance, I bought some Decon. Something had to be done; these rascals have been shitting all over our stove and counter tops and spooking the crap out of us with their scurrying around. That is not a healthy environment. Still, I feel lousy about having to go this route.

Before heading up to Nashua last night to see my friends in The Clones play, I stopped at my mother's house to drop off a card and some flowers for Mother's Day. I visited for a bit; she shared my nieces pre prom pictures (fuck, I remember holding them as bambinas!) while I lavished little Mimi with attention. My mom seemed sad or tired, I couldn't tell which. In hindsight, I think she was tired. At least that's what I hope.

Later, in Nashua, I got to see some friends and hear some music. I had a good time but it would have been a better time if I didn't have to drive back to the city. So no carousing to the wee hours for me. I had a beer, watched the band, shared some laughs with friends, flirted. Fun, but next time I'll make arrangements to crash at someone's house or some shit.

The day is young and has the potential to be a lazy one. We'll see.

Bye, rancheros!

There's a doctor I've found can cure the boy

Well, I consumed about half the lollipop the other night and felt zero effects. Around 11:30, I went to sleep and that was that.

But not really.

I woke up around 3am to pee and as I was getting my clothes on, I realized I was insanely high off my ass. My senses were humming, my heart was racing. It took hours but the cannabis finally kicked in.

"Oh, well", I thought, "back to bed with me and I'll sleep it off". Easier said than done. I learned quickly that sleep would not be possible, at least not for a while. I got back in bed and closed my eyes but my body was humming wildly and I was beset with visuals that had little association with anything I'd deem reality. I also had to contend with severe dry mouth, which I had expected and prepared for. I furiously guzzled water.

No sleep for you, buddy.

I managed to calm myself down a bit with some breathing exercises. This was good, because anxiety and paranoia were creeping around, ready to be called into action. I kept telling myself I needed to harness the high, to pacify this typhoon. The breathing helped, but I was still rip-roaring high.

I hesitate to say I was going through hell, because I wasn't, but it wasn't a very comfortable affair. Still, I was maintaining and not freaking out which, I should mention, is always a distinct possibility in this type of situation.

Sleep finally came a couple of hours later when the birds were chirping and the sun was coming out. I woke up later than usual and still high. I made breakfast (an interesting experience) and took a long cold shower that helped restore some equilibrium.

I debated whether to go to work sooner than later. After a cup of coffee, I still felt high but I was alert and decided I'd attempt the drive. If, once in the car, I didn't feel good about it, I'd wait until later.

I ended up feeling well enough to drive and made it to work without incident. I parked on the street adjacent to our building and as I was walking up the sidewalk, Amanda called out to me from her car. She pulled up to the curb and I got in the passenger side and told her my story. We had a good laugh about it.

I was high most of the day, but it wasn't nearly as intense as it was at 3am. It was a pleasant day, actually, albeit a little altered.

Lesson of the day: Be very careful about consuming cannabis edibles. Proper set and setting is key. It's a different ballgame than smoking cannabis. And, just for the record, I was careful about it. If I go down that road again, I'll have to be even more careful.

Overall, it was a cleansing experience, believe it or not. Not something I want to go through every day, but it was beneficial. 

What a ride!
--

Alright, I'm out.

P.S. I probably know more about a thing than you think I do, so a bit of advice: choose your lies wisely and get your stories straight, people. Ha!

Penetrate the evening that the city sleeps to hide

Home from work and relaxing after a fulfilling dinner. Not long afterward, I licked at a THC laden lollipop for a bit. It's my first time with the lollipop, so I took pains not to over indulge. It's a different ball game when you eat or drink cannabis. If you're not careful, the experience can be and overwhelming, anxiety-riddled affair. Believe me, I know from experience. I ate a pot brownie at a party once (on an empty stomach, to boot) and went through hell for several hours. I am not looking to relive that experience. No, sir.

Last night, I had a dream in which I was in Ontario looking for Sasquatch with TimberGiantBigfoot. As we headed toward a dirt road we saw one cross it. It was massive, about fifteen ft. tall! Its footfalls were so heavy, the ground shook. What a sight to behold! Alas, it was a dream, but boy do I wish it had actually happened. I've been nerding out on everything Bigfoot lately, so I'm not surprised the elusive creature has been occupying my dreams.

Not feeling anything yet. It's only been about forty minutes. We'll see if I make it through this post. Ha!

Janelle is pretty close to completing my new tattoo. I'm eager to have it done. This one will be quite a bit larger than my first ones. And it will be equally as meaningful, particularly because one of my nearest and dearest is designing it.

Alright, time to plan out the rest of my evening. I plan on practicing yoga; we'll see how it goes once the cannabis kicks in. I'm guessing it will be a deep, bliss filled experience, but who knows. We'll see.

One last thing. To the best of your ability try to live in the present and not stew over things that happened in the past. For example, if you're stirring up shit about me regarding something like, I don't know, a bunch of emails from years ago concerning an offensive joke (not told by me), my recommendation is for you to let it go. Or you can gossip about it some more. Your choice. That's right, things have a way of getting back to me. Personally, I don't really care that much, but the ears do ring sometimes. I would say get a life, but I'm not about to enter the fray. Anyway, life is too short; try to enjoy yourselves.

The past is history and the future a mystery.

Peace, children.

I saw you dreaming of Paris

I'm making my usual potato dish this evening, but I'm raising the bar and serving it with falafel. My prediction: I'm going to enjoy it. Unless I completely fuck it up, which is possible but barely, my dinner will be a tasty one. And, I might add, it will be a healthy one. I only say that because I want to express how advanced an entity I am. But you figured that out already.

It's been a lazier day than I anticipated, but I have been productive. Thought IE might be practicing today, but it didn't pan out. I practiced yoga this morning. Lately, about every other session incorporates a stool and I use it in different ways with an emphasis on upper body and core strengthening. It keeps me mindful of the present, too, sometimes profoundly, and that is a wonderful thing. I've developed quite a number of exercises with that wooden stool. The open-endedness of yoga, it's malleability, is why I never get bored with it. My practice evolves as I evolve.

Late last night I watched The Babadook, one of the best horror films I've seen in a long time. Spooked me out a bit. Really well done. Kind of like The Shining in its way. Had a real dreamy atmosphere. The acting was exceptional. A lot to praise. I recommend it.

Turns out I need new front ball joints in my car. Won't cost quite as much as I had feared, which is a relief. Also a relief is the news that I don't have to get it fixed right away. I've spent a lot of money this month and one more expense would have been uncomfortable. I'm glad I had the car looked at; now I know what I'm dealing with.

I finally took steps to relieve us of the mouse problem. I picked up a couple of no-kill traps. It'll probably be a longer process than straight up poison but I'm alright with that. I was on the fence about the poison and every time I convinced myself it was the cheapest, most effective solution, a weird thing would happen: the store wouldn't have any in stock or I'd just flat out forget to look for some. I don't want to murder anything if I don't have to, so I'll give these traps a shot. The mice should send me a thank you card for thinking of their well being. I've got to tell you, I doubt they will.

Well, dinner is about ready.

Bye, lovers

He's the man who decides if I live or I die, if I starve or I eat

I met a woman named Amanda a few years ago up in NH. We hit it off immediately; she was attractive all the way through. A group of us went to see a gypsy band play at the local pub. Amanda and I got to know each other a bit; laughs, back stories, shared interests.

Rachael had wanted us to meet; she thought we would pair up nicely. We did, but we didn't pursue much of a relationship beyond that night. We ended up being friends on FB. We don't interact, but I see her posts in my stream and I enjoy them. They are generally uplifting in content; nothing snarky, no rabble rousing.

There's a warmth and authenticity that emanates from Amanda. Even though we haven't been in touch, I appreciate and am often inspired by how she chooses to depict herself on FB. Through her page, I discovered her sister's blog, which is also positive in nature but focuses mainly on her athletic endeavors.

I feel slightly creepy about peaking into other people's lives, but these days it's common to know people without really knowing them. To wit, this blog. There are people  I've never met that read from it that know more about me than I know about my coworkers. It's kind of off-putting, I suppose, but I hardly think about it. It's the world we live in.

Anyway

Joe Rogan often says that the key to living a healthy, productive, and satisfying life is to surround yourself with positive people. It's a good model and holds up pretty well under scrutiny. I'm fortunate to be able to say that I've got a sizable group of people in my life who lean towards positivity that inspire me to better myself.

One of my friends has had a tough go of it recently and in the midst of being besieged by torment, fear, and pain, he's making an effort to climb out of the ditch. It's been a slow, messy, and arduous process (that's life, folks) but I find it admirable that he's taking action.. A lot of people moan about their plight while not lifting a finger to do remedy it.Whether my friend unburdens himself from his current predicament is secondary to the fact that he's taking a stand on behalf of himself.

I've found that the more I align myself with wellness, love, and compassion, the unsavory, negative people and situations that swim around my life flake away like dead skin. Like attracts like.

It's of great value to me having positive people in my life. The more I utilize the inspiration they provide me and apply it to my own life, the more I'll be able to inspire others. All these wonderful gifts life presents us and most of us are focused on the empty calories of status, wealth, and possessions. There's the suffering the Buddha warns us about.

So take the reigns as best you can, but take them. Your grip might be weak and shaky at times, but keep at it. It's the only way out. 
--
My car is at the garage. Again. Probably struts, who knows. It's been an ongoing problem, the clunk and clatter I hear whenever I go over a bump or two. I'm just looking for a diagnosis; not sure I'll be able to afford the repairs this week.

I don't have it that bad with my car. It has yet to break down and leave me stranded on the side of the road somewhere. I've been fortunate enough to have been able to drive it to the garage whenever there's been a problem.

It's got some miles on it and consequently needs more attention than a new car, but it's served me well overall. I'm saying this as I think of all the money I've dumped into recently scrolls through my mind, but whatever. I can only control what I can control. I'm hoping this last round of repairs will be it for a while. Fingers crossed.

On that note, I'm going to practice some yoga, work on music, read, take a walk, whatever. I'll talk to you later.

I'm your toy, I'm your old boy, but I don't want no one but you to love me

After a whirlwind week and a half long search, we've found a roommate. Or, to put it closer to the truth, I found a roommate. Fred has been vacationing out west throughout most of the process. I met with a bunch of people and liked most of them, but it was our first interview, Andrew, who will be moving in.

He wasn't my first choice. I expected a woman named Samantha would be our next roommate. She came by Monday night and seemed like a good fit. She got back to me on Tuesday and said she was offered another place but liked ours better. She asked me if I could let her know by the following day whether I'd accept her as roommate. At that point I was pretty drained and hadn't met anyone other than Andrew and Samantha that I thought would be a good fit. I decided to sleep on it but figured I'd offer her the place in the morning. The morning came and as I was about to call her I received an email from her telling me she'd accepted another offer.

I promptly emailed Andrew and offered him the place, hoping he hadn't found one yet. As a precautionary measure, I re-posted the craigslist ad and steeled myself for the possibility I'd have more interviewing to do. Fortunately, Andrew responded quickly and accepted the offer. I was relieved. I think he'll fit in well and the fact that he was one of the few people that met Fred and Pepper the dog, is an added bonus.

I met some interesting people over the last week or so and might even hang out with one or two of them at some point. We'll see. I'm just glad it's over. Andrew's lease at his current place isn't up until May, so Evangeline will be able to stay here a couple of weeks longer, which is a relief to her. She's not leaving for Chicago until mid month; she figured she'd be couch surfing until she left.

I've been busy in other ways that I'm frankly not in the mood to expound upon. Boring shit, nothing salacious.

Next month will be interesting. Ignore Emporium will have it's first performance at our lovely band mate Michelle's TED Talk, which I think pretty much the entire planet will be able to watch. It's kind of surreal; I was already excited for Michelle, but now that she graciously included Janelle and me, it's exciting and, well, as I said before the semicolon, kind of surreal. Hey, we're a team and we're going to bring the ruckus!

Well, that about does it for me. I don't foresee things slowing down in the near future. A bunch of stuff lined up. During what little off time I've had, I've delved deep into Larry McMurtry's Ned and Zeke, which is fucking amazing. I guess you could say he's my favorite author. I've also been delving deep into Bigfootery. Ah, but you don't want to hear about that.

Good night, rascals!

Three days was the morning

Our kitchen has gradually been overtaken by mice. I've known about it for a while but it's becoming a bit too much. Walking into the kitchen is often a startling experience because of those little buggers; we're starting to jump at shadows. The thought of killing a bunch of mice hasn't filled with me glee - I've debated the pros and cons extensively - but they've got to go. If  my roommates were shitting on the stove and counter tops, I'd get rid of them too. There would be no murder in this scenario, however. Well, probably not.

This week has been a mixed bag. It was tempestuous and go,go,go and worrisome and pleasant and challenging and shitty and ...... basically life, only accelerated and occasionally overwhelming. It's a beautiful day and I'm going to enjoy it. Because I'm an introvert, I need to recharge my batteries. I haven't had much time this week for myself. It's been a quiet, sunny morning; just the elixir I need.

Evangeline's mom is visiting this weekend. I like her quite a bit. She's very mom-like and warm. A good energy to have in the house after a trying week. The three of us had some good conversations and laughs last night. Fred left for vacation yesterday so I had to fly solo interviewing potential roommates last night. After each one left, Evangeline and her mom would tell me their thoughts (they were cooking and eating during both interviews). I appreciated the input. I like to have a few more people come by and then make a decision.

A few things:

The Galaxy Invader is one of the best movies I've ever seen. It's a B movie, to be sure, but it's so unintentionally funny and earnest and unique. It's a classic. I've watched it several times and it gets better with each viewing.

Saw the new Batman VS. Superman trailer and it looks great. The Frank Miller Batman reboot the movie is based on was a favorite of mine back in the day. Ben Affleck is going to bring the ruckus, I can feel it. The suit looks bad ass! I'm kind of excited. Same goes for the new Star Wars. The shitty thing is it will be winter when both films will be released and just the thought of that foul season gets me all frowny. Here's my solution: release both movies next weekend. Let's make it hap'n, Cap'n!

Ok, on with the day.

Namaste!

So I leave the ways that are making me be what I really don't want to be

Today was a bit of a downer and I'm not precisely sure why. But, hey, one can hardly be precise when diagnosing afflictions of the mind, so it's reasonable that I'm a bit in the dark. "Want to talk about it, big guy?", you ask. Sure! Let's workshop this, friends.

Or not. Not in the mood to keep feeding a lower energy pattern I'd just as soon be without. I'm over it for the most part but I feel soiled, like I need to take a shower. Look, it's just life and life, as you know, isn't exactly easy or fair. We're all just trying to get through this in our own ways.

At lunch, I was reading an essay by Annie Lamott and was reminded not to be so hard on myself. She writes "I don't know why life isn't constructed to be seamless and safe, why we make such glaring mistakes, things fall so short of our expectations, and our hearts get broken and our kids do scary things and our parents get old and don't always remember to put their pants on before a stroll. I don't know why it's not more like it is in the movies, why things don't come out neatly and lessons can't be learned when you're in the mood for learning them, why love and grace often come in such motley packaging.'"

How can you be anything other than compassionate towards yourself when you know you're going to lose everything and everyone you care about in this life? Most of us even don't know why we're here or where we're headed. Our very nature alludes us, the truth of who we are, micro an macro, a mystery. We shouldn't be so hard on ourselves.

Anyway

Busy busy busy, but, alas, not the kind of busy that has fun anywhere near it. The roommate search begins in earnest and I see a slew of interviews in my near future. I'd rather avoid the process, but it's never so bad - we get to meet some nice people - just time consuming.  We've had some fine people live here; I hope our luck continues.

I'm pretty sure I'll be dog sitting for one of Spira's neighbors for a few days at the beginning of May. Spira's done a fine job of talking me up to her neighbors and now that I've already had a couple of gigs under my belt, I'm hoping I see more requests. It's a great way to make extra money and you get to hang out with dogs. What's not to like? Well, I guess I wouldn't like it if the dog I was taking care of was a fucking prick and house sitting for two bulldogs a few months ago was more or less an uncomfortable, occasionally creepy experience. But I know this dog and he's pretty cool, so I don't foresee any problems. And he lives in the same building as Spira, maybe even the same floor, so I'll get to hang out with her and Missy D. Maybe we'll watch Glee or some shit.

--

My libido has been pretty active lately; it tells me I'm in need of some physical affection. I agree completely, but how do I go about this? Hit me up if you have any ideas, particularly ones that don't involve money or going to a sports bar.

Well, I guess it's off with me. Have a great night!

I can't know what I'm bout to do

Spira and I went out for Ethiopian food tonight. It was my first time. Spira had been raving about it for a while and never got over her surprise that I'd never had it before. Well, I learned tonight why she was so enthusiastic. It was one of the best meals I've had in a long time. And healthy to. Oh, and you get to eat with your hands, which is a small but satisfying bit of liberation from unflinching social norms.

A fine meal and fine company. Spira's reached a place in her life that is a pleasure to behold. The work she's put into her spiritual practice over the years has been paying off. She glows these days.

Alright, look: I'm keeping this briefer than brief because it's been a long day and I'd like to unwind before bed. The weather was raw and cold today - winter's grip has not weakened much - and it makes me want to get under the covers and ease into a lucid dream of endless azure pastures of divine bliss.

Ciao

I've got some things to say just for the fuck of it

April 1st and I'm chilled to the ...well, not the bone - it's not that severe - but whatever, I feel like I've been bullied by winter for far too long. Still, it's been nice hearing the birds talk and sing in the morning. They've been the scouts of warmer weather.

I know I've mentioned here before that writing lyrics hardly comes easy to me. If it was a fraction as easy as writing music, I'd be overjoyed like a puppy in a room full of tennis balls. Since it's the lyrics that slow the process down, there is self-imposed pressure to produce them much quicker. The thing is, you can force a hen to do a lot of things but you can't force it to lay eggs on command. Creativity needs to be treated gently, to be nurtured like a child.


To that end, I've decided to approach lyric writing  a bit differently because I've been slumping like a boss and the the child I'm trying to coax results from is crumpled bug-eyed in the corner too terrified to do anything. So the idea is to sit down with pen and paper with no expectations and just write. Get the train choo-chooing. There's a great scene in Finding Neverland in which a producer reminds a sullen JM Barrie that there's a reason why they call it a play. So let's play, dammit! The key component to success will be consistency. I've got to work the creative muscle on a regular basis. I started last evening and I'll do so again tonight.

Well, it's been real, but I'm going to keep things brief and utilize the remainder of the evening as best I can.

G'night, children.

You've got no business questioning a thing

It is Friday and I'm grateful the weekend is here. Not a bad week, necessarily, but it was a mixed bag. Got my new iPhone and....fuck, I don't want to relive the bullshit so I'll just say it was a comedy of errors getting it activated. Took a couple of days and hours dealing with (mostly) incompetent customer service reps. I love the phone and it is galaxies better than my last one which was an asshole prick that I paid too much to use. And, I've got too admit, I started feeling slightly embarrassed being the only one around with a piece of shit relic. Not so much because of status, but because it was a real inconvenience for others to deal with as well. Onward and upward.

I also got to throw six hundred smackers into my car this week. I went in for an oil change and they told me my exhaust pipe was leaking and would soon fall off. Well, I had to get 'er done, to quote Sir Larry, The Cable Guy. I wasn't too thrown off because I was planning on spending around that much for new brakes, which, as it happens, I was told I didn't need (I do need new tires, though, but that is not a pressing matter). My car has been nice to me. I've been trying to thank it every time it brings me somewhere; gratitude is a powerful undernourished resource in our society and consequently I have to be diligent about keeping it at the forefront of my mind.  Lessons everywhere if you have eyes to see them. My vision needs work, but it is improving.

Listening to a lot of Death Grips, getting deeper into my yoga and meditation practices, finishing up two new songs I like quite a bit, and getting ready to head to Craig's house on the Cape of Cod, where an all-star lineup of my macho guy friends will make merry in a variety of ways excluding amorous physical expression (well, at least speaking for myself; who knows what the others have planned)..

Alright, I will henceforth move onward to different, sexy, and totally rad things.

Smell you later, motherfuckers.

A heart of ice is easily melted, a heart of stone is easily thrown away

We've had two days of Spring and it has snowed during each of them. That's all I'm going to say on the topic because there's no use getting bothered by something beyond my control. And it's important to me that I minimize the things I let bother me. So enough talk of this fucking shitty perpetual winter.

The new Death Grips album, Jenny Death, is fucking amazing! I knew they had this album in them. This is a band at the height of its powers. Less electronics, more guitars and drums. So effin heavy in all the right ways. It's a keeper.

I've been making some strides in terms of my development as a conscious being. Certain negative patterns I've repeated over the course of my life on autopilot have been exposed to the light of day. Clarity has enabled me to see them for what they are and they've been less potent. As a result, there has been more space, room to breathe. It's a process.

A good friend has been going through some hard times and I've been offering whatever support I can. He's not doing so good but he's making a go at effecting some positive changes, which, to me, is a big thing. Some people, and I know one or two, won't even lift a finger to help themselves out. They're the ones I have trouble summoning respect for. Compassion, sure, but, c'mon, do something on behalf of  yourself! Ah, but that's they're situation and it's not up to me how they handle it.

Spira's treating me to some Ethiopian food tonight on account of the fact that I've been taking care of Missy D when she has long days at yoga teacher training. I've had little experience with Ethiopian cuisine; I think I'll enjoy it but who knows.

More tattoos on the horizon. Janelle is being kind enough to design one for me and there's another one I have in mind that I'll reveal at a later date (oooohhh, mysterious!). Looking forward to it.
 

Ok, I'm out this piece, homies!

Once my heart was filled with the love of a girl, I held her close but she faded in the night

Various parts of my body feel sore this morning (ribs, left Achilles tendon, right hamstring, upper arms). This is a product of Friday's yoga session, which focused heavily on the upper body. So there's your arm soreness. The leg soreness is probably the result of cobra or overdoing down dog - who knows. This type of thing happens to everyone who maintains a regular yoga practice. I'll take it a bit easier with today's session if need be.

I've been eating Scottish oatmeal for breakfast. I add almond milk, sliced banana, coconut, honey, and cacao powder. Tasty and healthy. And, my dear children, it leaves me feeling satisfied for a long while; I don't start feeling hungry until well into the day. Beats the insulting my body with egg bagel sandwiches or some other fast food breakfast bullshit. Yes, I'm aware that bullshit is tasty -of course it is - but the risks outweigh the rewards.

Had a productive band practice yesterday. We went over some older material and tried out some new stuff. Even though it was only Pat's second appearance with us, the cohesion was evident. It's entirely gratifying having a band again. We've got something special here. I'm looking forward to playing out. We're going to bring the ruckus.

Evangeline is moving out in May. Kind of expected it after she lost her job last month. She's going to take some summer classes in Chicago. She's been a great roommate for the most part; it'll suck a bit seeing her go, but I'm happy for her. So the roommate search will soon begin.

The new Death Grips album is slated to drop today. Based on the one track I heard, I'm excited to hear it. Say what you want about digital media, but nothing beats being able to purchase a new record without having to get dressed and drive to a music store (if you can find one) and hope they have what you're looking for. If they do, you'll be paying more than what you'd pay for a digital download.

Granted, there is a certain appeal to hanging out at a store and browsing, but it's really not that different than doing the same thing online, where your browsing can take you much further than at a store. So fuck browsing at a store. Now, if you're talking about going to an indie record shop where you can talk to the staff and get recommendations and hang out in a cool environment, well, that experience can't really be substituted.  To that end, when I have some F You money I plan on purchasing a turntable and visiting some some local record stores.

Anyway

Cheers & Jeers

Cheers

The Fall. Great show and Gillian Anderson's acting is some of the best I've seen. She should win every award


Cheers

The Big Three project. I've gushed over this before, but I'm going to do it again. Because it's so layered and spans decades, it's not an easy thing explaining it to people. I won't even try, but if you're interested in comedy, you shouldn't overlook The Big Three.

Jeers

St. Patrick's Day. Not so much the holiday itself, but what it represents to people. As if people needed an excuse to get shit faced drunk and make complete asses out of themselves. Fuck the parades, fuck the bars. I hate being around drunks.

Cheers

Cannabis!  I'm overjoyed that it's becoming more acceptable in our society. It's about time. For too long it's been equated with hard drugs and derelict behavior. People are waking up to its welter of benefits.

Jeers

Winter. No explanation needed.


Alright, lads and lasses, time to go. Going to Spira's to hang out with Missy D while she's at yoga teacher training. I have a feeling I'll be lavishing Missy D with affection.

Toods!

Green are your eyes, in the morning when you rise

I've been a  busy fella. Not going to stick around this post very long but wanted to touch base. Why? Well, who knows. Perhaps I have it in my mind that my readers are in a constant state of pining for  new material. And, because that is most assuredly an unassailable truth in the objective sense, I figure it is my duty as a pure-hearted, responsible scribe to alleviate any suffering my absence from this blog may cause.

Anyway

I was talking to a friend about the new study that recently came out that states smoking cigarettes is even worse for you than once thought. My friend asked me if I thought the study would inspire people to quit. My answer: probably not many.

Look, the smoker, most of the time, is going to sweep anything related to the habit's harmful effects right the fuck under a rug. Why? Because they are possessed by their addiction, shackled to it. They believe its lies even when the truth is directly in front of them, glaring like a thousand suns. You could tack a list of the multitudinous ways cigarettes will kill you to a smoker's chest and they will crumble it up and throw it away.

 "I'll quit someday", they may think.

Someday. It comes for those willing to exorcise the demon, to gather the will and act upon it, and for others it is merely a concept, intangible, at bay. Ah, the devilry of addiction.

I used to smoke, so I know what a bitch the addiction is. It offers nothing of value while making you think you can't live without it. I don't mean to be cynical, only calling it like I see it. The good news is there are fewer and fewer smokers these days. There's been such a reduction that I'm often surprised when I see someone light up. More people are wising up every day.

See, I'm not being cynical. Get off my back.

--
 
Alright, canaries, there is more - there always is- but other activities beckon and I must heed their call.

So long!

Everyone needs love, you know that it's true, someday you'll find someone that will fall in love with you

I'm tired. This will be a short post. It has to be or I'll pass out onto my keyboard. Yes, children, matters are that dire.

I had a late night last night. A good portion of it was spent at Foley's place playing music. I had a bunch of energy when I got home and didn't make it to bed at a reasonable time. I did stuff like meditate and watch some videos from Timbergiantbigfoot, one of my favorite Bigfoot researchers. I fell asleep listening to Terrence McKenna speak about how our allegiance to Materialism has blinded us to other essential and multitudinous aspects of existence. I wonder if it affected my dreams. Must have at least a little bit; I have a vague recollection of a dream in which I tripped on mushrooms. Mckenna was, among other things, an ethnobotanist and a proponent of psychedelics, in case you didn't know.

Ignore Emporium practiced on Sunday. It had been a while. We were a bit rusty but that was to be expected. We've been getting a lot of good feedback. I'm jazzed to start playing out. Stay tuned, readers! Stay tuned, I said!

Man, the last Big Three Best of podcast was effing brilliant! A true comedic masterpiece. I'm not even going to bother getting into it here because I have a feeling none of you know of what I speak. Too bad because it was so layered and so hilarious and so....

Anyway

Alright, I promised a short post and short it will be. I haven't passed out yet; the salad and chai seemed to have revivified me a bit after a yoga session that went deep and expended some energy. Still, I'm out this piece because I never go back on my word.

A pleasant evening to you.

Pretty soon there will be no air to breathe, pretty soon there wil be no pretty sea to see

Over the last month or so, I've had issues with my car. It began with it not starting very easily some mornings. My mechanic in Andover thought a tune up would solve the trick. Sam is basically trustworthy but he has little interest in keeping costs low. His garage is next to my office building; which is why I continue to give him my business. The garage I go to in Somerville is my preferred destination; their only sin is not calling me to let me know what's wrong with my car and how much it's going to cost or that it's ready to be picked up. I have to stay on top of them like I'm a bookie and they're deadbeat gamblers. But it's been proven to my satisfaction time and again that they are trustworthy and have my best interests in mind.

 Even after a spiffy tune up that ran me close to three hundred greenbacks, my car still exhibited the same symptoms from time to time. I brought it to the garage in Somerville and they couldn't figure out what was wrong. They suspected the battery, but it had juice and tested fine. My sister's car had the same issues as mine and a new battery was the solution. I resolved to have them install a new battery if it happened again.

Well, it happened again. And again. And again. For various reasons, I waited until things got worse to take the car back to the garage. The other night, it died a couple of times on my way home from my mother's house. Not a fun time having the car suddenly shut off when you're going 65 on the highway. I'm grateful I didn't get in a wreck.


I paid a return visit to the Somerville guys yesterday. It took them most of the day, but they felt confident it was the IAC (Idle Air Control) valve that was culprit. They said the part cost approximately five hundred smackers, but rather than suggest a new one, like Sam might have done, they took out my existing one and gave it a thorough cleaning.  They think it made a difference. I've driven the car quite a bit since picking it up; so far, so good. They didn't charge me anything. Good guys. I brought them donuts today.
--

I just took a break to make some coffee. While waiting for the water to boil, I thought about some of the attractive women I saw at the courthouse in Cambridge today. And then something else started to boil, if you catch what I'm flinging. Eh? Know what I mean? Man, I'm attracted to all sorts of women! I draw the line at too old and too young and really unhealthy looking, but other than that, I'm pretty open. I'll take pretty much every other type of woman any day over the vacant-eyed skeletons I see gracing the cover of various magazines.

Today I was in full appreciation of J in the T. I was witness to several fine examples and the libido took control of my senses. I almost had to rush outside and stuff some snow down my pants. Instead I imagined Sean Hannity french kissing that woman from Throw Mama From The Train. Settled me right the fuck down.. Are you feeling me, brah?

So, yeah, I checked out a healthy assortment of women today and I thought about how much I appreciate them and also how it's a crying shame (and a waste of resources, for reals) that I'm not making love to them more often. I'm an attentive, sensual lover, son! Ask any prostitute. Ha!

Where's the love for Kevin Credible?

--
It's Friday and I'm tired. I'd like to revivify so I can get the most out of my night. Coffee helped, maybe some yoga or a cold shower will too. It's possible I'll continue my Parks & Rec binge (I hope to write about this special show in the coming days). I'd like to work on some music. Ignore Emporium is slated to practice this weekend after a lengthy hiatus (que bueno!); maybe I'll run through some of our songs. I should probably try to figure out some of Billy's encrypted messages. He's a huge John Dee fan these days and everything has to be esoteric.

G'night, you spiritual beings having a human experience!

Still and all it would be hours before I would get burned

About five years ago around this time of year and under similar weather conditions, I slipped on a patch of ice on a sidewalk near my place and added insult to an already injured shoulder by landing on it with all of my weight. If memory serves, the first injury was the result of an unfortunate tangled sleeping position. My shoulder had been sore for about a week before I slipped and fell. It took several more for it to feel better. Healing came a year or two later when I began practicing yoga in earnest.

I was out of shape then, not terribly, but the limited amount of attention I was giving my body was evident every time I looked in the mirror. I believe both injuries could have been avoided if I hadn't been so soft, for lack of a more flattering word, not only in body, but mind and spirit, as well.

I am in better shape than I was years ago. My yoga and meditation practices are in full bloom. I'm eating lighter. Last night I went for a brisk two mile walk in the fucking freezing cold. I sought out the more challenging sidewalks, ones narrow, slippery, and rutted haphazardly with marbleized, compacted snow. I moved quickly when I could.

I loved it.

I suppose there are safer methods of exercise, but this suited me just fine. You're forced to be mindful with every step; not a lot of room for the mind to go exploring. It presented the same type of challenges that hiking dicey trails or practicing advanced yoga poses present.

And there's that word "challenge". There are things in life I'm fearful to confront, but I like that I challenge myself on a consistent basis. These walks (I just came back from another one)  have been challenging and rewarding. Winter is not a gentle season, but it has its gifts if you're willing to look it right in the face.

Oh, I never slipped and fell once. Vindication (I guess)!

Anyway

I wish you a pleasant evening, each and every one of you.

Marlena, under Foster Grants, she's undercover from the dawn's advance

I'm listening to Julianna Barwick's The Magic Place and I'm transported to hazy summer days with their hissing summer lawns. Now I'm thinking about Joni Mitchell because she has an album called The Hissing of Summer Lawns. Okay, now I'm back to focusing on Julianna, but just for a bit because I don't want to make this post about her. I want it to be about offshore drilling (hey,it's a valid subject) but even more than that I want it to be about me and my thrilling, inspiring, and possibly sexy life. Anyway, let's wrap this Julianna Barwick business up toot sweet. I associate The Magic Place and it's dreamy looped vocals with summer because it was during one a couple of years ago that I first heard and explored this fine album. Those halcyon summer days seem so far away as I type this in the bleak, battered belly of an unrelenting murderous winter. So, yeah, Julianna Barwick and Joni Mitchell.

Anyway

Today started off with frigid temperatures and my car not starting. Same problem I've had; probably battery/weather related; I wasn't surprised. I had a feeling it would start but it took several more attempts than usual. I'm glad it did because I had work to do at the courthouse in Cambridge that couldn't be put off.

 On my way to Cambridge -white-knuckled driving all the way, thanks to potholes, blind spots and snow narrowed roads- I got to feeling a bit ornery and cynical and crept steadily into big fucking baby territory. Well, children, I caught what was happening and, thanks in large part to my yoga and meditation practice (mindfulness, son!), I snapped out of my malaise enough to enact a healthier, more pleasant mindset.

Matters improved. I maintained the perspective that we're all feeling the weight of winter and its attendant hazards; it's not only me the season is actively trying to murder. Consequently, there hasn't been a welter of positivity being generated (I say that, but I've been fortunate to have been around quite a bit of it). As a so-called spiritual person, I figured I should put my money where my mouth is and be am agent of light or, at the very least, not a fucking whiny baby prick. So I took every opportunity I could to offer someone a smile, share a kind word, help out in some way.

I had some issues with the copy machine at the registry of deeds and asked the woman at customer service for assistance. She admitted she was just covering for someone and didn't know how to use the copier. She sounded overwhelmed, a bit anxious. I let her know it was no big deal that I was in no rush. We had a nice conversation and she mellowed out a bit. I felt as light as a feather talking with her. When I left the registry, I helped an elderly woman insert coins in a meter (she couldn't reach it because of a snow bank). Lighter, still.

The rest of the day presented similar small-stuff -that -ain't-so-small opportunities to brighten some one's day that I took advantage of. And by doing so, my day was brightened. Giving is receiving. Sometimes I really get it, like I did today; other times, not so much. Whatever. We're fallible.

Anyway,

So my day didn't start off with a bang but it turned out swell. I am home, it's Friday. I had a deep yoga session followed by a dinner of my own sweet potato extravaganza recipe (it's my most cherished accomplishment in life, no shit). I'm about to have a mug of warm, creamy spiced chai with cashew milk that I'm sure will provoke a state of sustained ecstasy within me.

Not so bad.

Alright, I'm out of here, cherubs. I was going to brag about how I've been taking cold showers all winter like a boss but I've already filled my bragging quotient with my tale about how I was able to rise above all the negativity and shine my golden light down upon my flock like my pal JC. The story of my cold shower toughness will have to wait until next time.

 Stay tuned!

Toodles, Jacobites.

Hey, ooh, what'll I do? Looks like it's the end

When I arrived at work this morning, there was a fan going in the lobby and when I walked into the office, all the windows were open. It's practically Palm Beach weather today - about 23 degrees - but it's not warm enough to warrant all of that. I found out quickly from Tim and my nose that there was a strong gas odor in the building. The fire dept. claimed there had been a gas leak at the town hall and it had drifted into the vents of our building.

About a half hour later we were informed they had discovered a high amount of carbon monoxide in the building and that we should leave. So we left. Good thing, because I was starting to feel a bit woozy, which could have been the result of pounding a bottle of Robitussin in my car on the way to work, but probably not because I've built up a tolerance at this point.

Anyway

I went to Whole Foods for a few things and when I got back to my car, it stalled a couple of times in the parking lot and at the next two stop signs nearby. I made it back to the city; it didn't stall again. Hopefully, it was the result of something weather related, like snow in the exhaust pipe or some shit.

Once home, I shoveled the snow banks at the end of our driveway to increase visibility. I half expected to hear Steve scraping the shovel along his driveway with his vacant gimlet-eyed, shark-like persistence. He was nowhere to be found though, so I guess even Steve takes a break once in a.....

Stop the presses! As I type, Steve and his dad just pulled in the driveway and unloaded a brand new snow blower from the back of their truck. I'm not a betting man, but I'll bet everything I hold dear that he'll take it for a test run, or at the very least let it run idle for a while. There's no way I'm escaping a sound assault. No way.

I'm also willing to bet that ape probably needs to change his tighty whities (there is no doubt in my mind he wears anything else) from all the explosive orgasms he's been filling them with over this acquisition.

Guess what? He hasn't started the snow blower yet, but he's got shovel in hand and is going ape shit on his driveway. I thought he'd already gotten every last fucking flake, but I guess not. I suppose I should brace myself for another several hours of this. What the fuck is wrong with this guy?
--

My libido has been through the roof lately. I could use a proper shagging or two or three, to be sure. It's probably a good idea that I stay away from certain women for a while until I get a hold of this thing. Don't worry, I'm not grabby, but I may start to swoon.

Anyway

I've been listening to Terrence McKenna lectures the last couple of nights. One concerned the mysterious Voynich Manuscript and the other was given to The Jung Society and mostly concerned alchemy, hermeticism, and shamanism. What an intelligent, engaging man he was.

Btw, that fucking troglodyte is STILL scraping his shovel along his driveway. It's been about an hour. By my tally, he's devoted about a full day to the last storm. He's done this with shovels, a massive snow blower, and assistance from various people. Almost 24 hours.

Alright, I'm out of here.

Boston Strong!