Saturday, September 28, 2013

And we all go down together

I practiced yoga this morning and then watched Mad Men but before that I worked on music for about an hour. Got all that? And right around the time I was settling down for a nap, Spira called and asked me if I wanted to go to the beach with her and Missy D. Sounded good to me, though I lamented the nap I never got to take.
We walked along the beach in Revere. The signs read "No Dogs Allowed Until September 30th" and we took heed but eventually decided to abandon the sidewalk for actual beach. It was a good plan. Not one person gave a shit and Missy got to run like a launched missile. I benefited too; I was starting to get a serious blister from my shoe and being barefoot in the sand was a comfort.

By the time we made it back to the car, we were all pooped. When we got back to Spira's, Missy D went right to her bed and collapsed before I was able to get her leash and collar off. Spira and I let her sleep and went to the City Slicker Cafe for dinner. Spira found out they didn't have public restrooms, so our order changed to takeout. We brought the food to her studio down the street and pigged out because neither of us had eaten in hours and the walk took it's toll.

And then we practiced our art. She painted and I played and sang. I realized at some point that Spira's probably the only person to see my writing process. Last week, the first time, was a little awkward at first, but I relaxed into it eventually. Tonight it felt natural all the way through.

Alright, it gets late and I want to read from Wolves of The Calla and possibly squeeze in some Mad Men.

Pleasant dreams, rascals.

Friday, September 27, 2013

Hey, hey mama, what's wrong with you?

Feeling good. Just had a nourishing and delicious dinner. I made a quinoa dish that featured roasted sweet potato, steamed broccoli and mushrooms, beets, garden tomato, tempeh marinated in green onion teriyaki sauce, and feta cheese. I'm so amped I could run outside and beat up pedestrians.

I'm closer than ever when it comes to eliminating meat from my diet. Saw another documentary that showed in gruesome detail  how the meat we eat is processed. It makes me terribly sad watching this stuff, but it's the least I can do; feeling discomfort is nothing compared to what these poor creatures go through. How can I continue to look the other way, knowing how vulgar and immoral this whole business is? So, we'll see how it goes. Might still eat farm-raised meat. Or maybe not.

A fine day today. First of all, it's Friday. So there's that. Also, there were only a few of us at work today and we didn't have much to do, so we all left at four. Brittany, who's still relatively new was so happy we were leaving but confessed to me that she tried not to show it lest they think she hates her job or something.

Other things went well today, but they don't need to be mentioned here. Actually, nothing needs to be mentioned here, but you catch my drift. Right?

I had a dream last night in which I saw my Uncle Dick. I hugged him tightly and sobbed. I couldn't stop. I don't know what that was about, but I suspect it had something to do with my dad. The last time I saw Dick, which was a few months after my dad died, he reminded me so much of him it was eerie. Ah, the grief isn't as bad, but it lingers in the corners.

Just took a look at some drafts of the Ignore Emporium logo Janelle's been working on. We're getting there. Loving where it's headed. Means a lot her doing this for me.

Breaking Bad wraps up this weekend. I'm going to try watch it though I don't have cable. A way will be found. Or I'll watch it online a day or two later.

See ya, buddies!

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

I can't go for that, no can do

Well, it's Monday and it wasn't so bad, especially considering I'm taking tomorrow off. I am, it's true, and I need it. And not because I hate my job - I just feel burned out all over and a day off sounds very appealing right now. I will practice yoga, work on music, read, and maybe hatch a plan or two.

I binge-watched Breaking Bad over the weekend and am now caught up (not technically, I suppose, since I missed last night's episode). Pretty intense, but what else can you expect from this show. Still not on board with the idea that it's the best show ever, but it's definitely up there. I'll need to watch the whole series over before I can make any true assessment. It is very, very good; the quality is very, very high. That much I know. But there are other shows I can say the same thing about, like TJ Hooker or According To Jim. So, there's that.

TimberGiantBigfoot finally posted the footage I'd been giddy with anticipation to watch. Since I feel pretty certain  he's not a hoaxer, I'm going on record as saying this is some of the best authentic footage I've seen. It's nowhere near the Patterson-Gimlin footage as far as content, but to me it is very compelling.

I'm really happy for TGB. This guy has been at it for years and his patience has been rewarded. So what is shown in the clip? Well, let's back up a bit first. Often in TGB's videos, various sounds can be heard that correspond to primate (Sasquatch) behavior, i.e. wood-knocking, howls, rock-clacking. In one or two of his recent vids rock clacking can be heard. How can I be sure it's rock clacking? Well, clearly I can't be completely sure, but there's corresponding evidence to suggest that's what it was. So not only does it sound like two rocks being brought together, but when TGB walks towards the source of the sound, he finds two rocks, powdered white on the tips and smooth from use. Around them he finds a pile of nuts that, upon closer inspection, are almost impossible to break open without the use of some tool. What would one use? A hammer? Nut cracker? Either would work, I suppose. Rocks? Nah.

Fast forward to the recent compelling video. TGB is out walking in the woods and suddenly you hear "clack, clack" in the distance, coming from the deep brush. He walks towards the sound and hears it again. At one point he estimates that the sound is close. He aims the camera into the woods. Nothing. And then...something.

What he sees clearly surprises him (I've seen a lot of phony bigfoot vids and even when the acting is good it's never that good). TGB gathers himself and gets his footage, which lasts about a minute or so. At times it is shaky and there are a couple of edits that I wonder about (usually an indicator of tomfoolery, but in this case, I wouldn't be surprised if it was his swearing that he cut out, given that he's conscious of his kids watching the video and if memory serves, he's said he's done as much in the past), but what is shown clearly resembles a mountain gorilla (sagital crest, massive bulk, etc), albeit a reddish one. And what is cool is that you see the body pulse in time with subsequent rock clacking. When all is said and done, TGB walks over to where the creature was and finds nuts and rocks white-tipped with use.

That's all I'll share here. If you're interested, go check it out for yourself. Believe me, I'm conscious that most people I know and probably most of my readers find the subject absolutely ridiculous and won't give it the time of day. I feel no need to convert anyone, but I did want to share my excitement. It's rare when footage is released that is so compelling.
--
A good chunk of what I wrote above was written last night before the Internet cut out, something that is happening with greater frequency these days (probably we need a new router). When I went to reset the connection, I ended up having a long conversation with Evangeline and Fred. About what? Well, books and stuff. Really, though, it's none of your business. Alright?

Started reading The Dog Stars last night. I'd heard a lot of good things about it and I was intrigued by the premise (poetical man and his dog and gun-loving, militia-type neighbor surviving in post-flu pandemic world). The writing style is first person and brings to mind McCarthy's The Road, but this is not a rip off. Heller's writing is powerful and engaging and, from what I understand because I'm only fifty pages in, the story is a bit more hopeful than The Road.

I generally have great dreams and hardly ever have nightmares. Many of the great dreams involve revelry among friends, some I know in my waking life, others only in the dream. Often these parties take place inside a huge, secluded ocean front place. I awoke from one of these dreams this morning with tendrils of recall snaking through my foggy mind. I remember lying on the couch with her. She held me close, it felt natural, but I was starting to wonder if it was appropriate. She didn't release her hold, so I didn't protest.

I think when I die, I'll walk right into one of these parties. Hell, maybe before I die. Multi-verse anyone?

Well, let's get this day started. It's a bit chilly, hope it warms up a bit before I go practice yoga as close to naked as I can muster. And there will be music and dancing and laughter and....

Ignore Emporium. I was hoping to launch the FB page a couple of months ago but I've been holding out for a logo. Didn't like the idea of a half-assed presentation but I've got a gig to promote and I don't think I can wait much longer. So,what I'm saying is I'm going to probably throw together something just so I can the ball rolling. In the end, it won't matter what I present; I'm pretty sure people's reactions will border on indifferent. Way to be an optimist, Kev! Well, it may not be like that, but it's hard to gauge these things. All I have to go on is past reactions and well....the word lukewarm comes to mind. Guess what, though? It doesn't change the way I feel about my music. I just need to find my audience is all. Soon, children. Soon.

Good night and good luck.


Tuesday, September 17, 2013

And then taking from his wallet an old schedule of trains, he'll say I told you when I came I was a stranger

Oh, I don't know. The day was relatively quiet. Work wasn't very busy; I got out a bit early and picked up some groceries at the Market Basket in Andover. And here I am, back home, listening to Rimsky-Korsakev's Song of India, sipping coffee, and a puff or two. All in all, a fine day. The weather was sunny and crisp. Fall looms - but not yet, not yet.

Been reading from Chogyam Trungpa's Meditation In Action during lunch (Mother Night will have to wait a bit). One of the things I find attractive about Buddhism is its practicality. You can apply its teachings and not be spiritual or religious. No one to worship, no dogma - just tools to help you thrive in this life (lives). And I've been listening to the great philosopher, Alan Watts, cover much of the same ground. Every night before bed, I pick one of his talks on YouTube, shut out the lights, and try not to fall asleep (I always do, but hopefully I've been absorbing his words on another level).

Thought about my dad a lot today. Sometimes it's like that and sometimes, like today, I don't know what precipitated it. I miss him. Hard to believe, but it's almost been a whole year since he passed. I wonder if, in some capacity, our paths will cross again. Something tells me yes, but so much about this life is incomprehensible to me. I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

Fruit flies have invaded our kitchen. I've gone on the offensive and have reduced their numbers, but victory still eludes me. Stay tuned, children of the damned!

For the last few years, I've been an avid watcher of TimberGiantBigfoot's videos on YouTube. He's this guy named Jim who treks out in the forest near his home in Ontario and looks for signs of Bigfoot. He mostly goes out by himself, but occasionally he'll bring his children. He's captured a lot of compelling video over the years. I find him to be highly credible. If he's a hoaxer, he's taking the subtle approach. Most of what he gets on film are strange stick structures, wood knocking, rock clacking, foot prints, possible dens - that type of thing.

He does have a number of videos in which a large bipedal creature can be seen, but they're a small part of a large body of work. It's rare that he'll definitively claim what he films is Bigfoot related. It's clear he's convinced they exist; he makes no bones about it, but he does try to take an even-keeled approach.

So I enjoy watching his videos, particularly because I'm a Bigfoot geek, but also because I find them comforting. Why not? He seems to be a nice guy and he's hanging out in the quiet forest filming away. Tranquil (though often not for him because he's out there alone among wild dogs (he was attacked by one), mountain lions, wolves...oh, my!) Anyway, the reason I brought him up is because he just posted some still frames of a recent video in which he got some very compelling footage. Going off what he offered up, he definitely filmed something that strongly resembles a large, bipedal primate. Think I'm stoked? Of course I am, child. Of course I am.

And with that, I'm the eff outta here. Be good, rascals. And stay in school.




Sunday, September 15, 2013

Every time I thought I'd give it up, someone put me on

I hadn't seen my mother in three weeks. Probably the longest we'd gone, but the time apart was needed, at least according to me. We hadn't been getting along; months after my father's passing, we're all still trying to maintain a functioning family and, at least between my mother and me, old negative patterns had asserted themselves and in order to tip the scale in the other direction I felt a break was necessary. Another way of putting it is that I was no longer willing to put up with certain things. Anyway, nothing major, just a break.

When I arrived at her home last Thursday after work, I knocked at the door and was greeted by the bark of a dog. Into the kitchen ran the cutest little dog followed by my mother who looked happier than I'd seen her in a while. She opened the door and said "Surprise!". Indeed. Turns out she had visited an animal shelter with my sister and brother in law a week prior and came home with this little girl, a cockapoo, named Mimi.

It was a blessing. I had been worried about my mother. She'd been feeling the weight of being alone, rudderless. She had talked about getting a dog for a while but never did much about it. My sister and I talked the idea up as much as we could, sent her links to shelters, that sort of thing. With the colder weather coming, I had a feeling she was going to convince herself that she'd have to wait until next spring or summer to get a dog (she had used that excuse before). Envisioning my mother alone in that house through another winter was not a comforting thought.

So learning by surprise that she went and got a dog was a true relief and lifted my spirit higher than it had been in a long time. Mimi is the perfect dog for my mother. In fact, the last time she was close to getting a dog, which must have been over ten years ago, it was a cokapoo she was interested in. I went with her across town to see it, but my mother backed off. Fast forward to last week at the no kill shelter in Salem and there is Mimi, only there two hours, waiting for my mother.

Mimi follows my mother around but is not intrusive. She hops on the recliner with her and sleeps. Mimi's back story isn't horrible but it's clear she didn't get much attention. She was primarily used for breeding purposes. She stayed outside in a heated pen most of the time. Her owners got divorced and she had to be given up. It was a mutual rescue, this pairing of my mother and her. They found each other. Yes, a blessing.
-
 I finished reading Beloved yesterday. I can see why it garnered the acclaim it did. It touched me deeply. Morrison is a titan. I continue with the Dark Tower re-read (I'm about midway through Wolves of The Calla) and will start reading Vonnegut's Mother Night. It will replace Beloved as my lunch break book.

And then there is Mad Men. I'm on season two. What can I say? I love this show. Almost everything about is exquisite. I'm picking up on a lot of the subtle stuff I missed the first time around. When people make the bold claim that it could very well be the greatest television show of all time, I just nod slowly. While I don't make definitive claims like that about anything if I can help it, I will say a case can be made if you're into that type of thing.

Many times when I attempt to write lyrics, I sit and stare at a blank page for an excruciating amount of time. An hour could go by and I only have a couple of lines written. There are other times, like today, when inspiration flows like a babbling brook and I belt out some lyrics, son! A whole song finished! Well, there's the matter of a name, but that will be easy enough. USA! USA!

A gig in October. Ignore Emporium will make it's debut. It will move you to your core, I do declare  Stay tuned.

Oh, and also remember to scrub behind your ears when you bathe. Seriously.



Sunday, September 8, 2013

So I called up the captain, please bring me my wine

Bjork's Vespertine is necessary on a post party Sunday. It just is. It's a dreamy cloud with bite and just what I need. I'm not hungover - not really; I am sleepy and fuzzy-headed. I'll take that over a hangover any day. It was a late night at Mark & Becky's. The party was still going when Craig and I left around three thirty. I strode the edge of drunkenness; I nearly succumbed at one point deep in the belly of the night, but some impulse, one that has mercifully asserted itself many times before, placed itself in front of me and Gandalfed my ass. You shall not pass! So no hangover. U-S-A! U-S-A!


It was a memorable night. I got to congregate with a sizable group of quality people, which is always the perfect elixir for almost everything. There were no fights, only revelry. As I say, I was among quality people and one thing I love about them is their willingness to have fun. Well, isn't everyone willing to have fun? No, child, I'm afraid not. Many folks may say they are, but we know better, don't we? Covet the fun-loving; they are the gems.

Because the party was on the fancy side, people were dressed to the nines and looking fine.With all due respect to the men, who looked debonair, to be sure, I particularly enjoyed what the ladies had going on. I don't mean to be a cad - I suppose an case could be made that I am - but damn, son! Anyway, you know me deep to my core and know I love women and appreciate them on a whole variety of levels. That's right - appreciate. High five, Gloria Steinem!

It took me a long time to arrive at a place where I could unabashedly and confidently exhibit my appreciation for any given woman on a purely physical level without feeling kind of oily about it. I hate seeing guys treat women like toys, something lesser. I never want to be that guy, but there is a way to find a woman attractive, to even let her know in a bold manner, without coming off like a creep. So instead of saying, "How 'bout bending over, baby, so I can do you from behind?", I say "Well, aren't you a lovely sight".  That approach tends to provoke less face slapping. And, sadly, less love making. Oh, the complications of life.

Craig stayed over and late this morning we walked over to Kelly's Diner and had breakfast. Afterward, we hung out at my place for a while. Glad we were able to do that; he's one of my favorite people to be around. After he left I tried for a nap that didn't take and watched Mad Men. When I'm done here, I may work on some music. Perhaps I'll make some headway in the lyric department. I'll probably read from Beloved, which, if I haven't said it before, has been a profound experience so far. I'm a little more than halfway through. I'm not going to lie to you, it's not a laugh riot, but it's a great read.

Take care of yourselves, you princes and princesses of Maine. Some of you I desire more than others, but I mustn't reveal who you are. If Billy finds out, he'll get you.

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Slip kid, slip kid, realization there's no easy way to be free

Listening to The Who's Who By Numbers. I've only within the last week become acquainted with it, which is surprising, taking into consideration the fact that I've been a longtime fan of the band. I'm enjoying it way more than I thought I would. I'd been under the impression that it's one of their weaker records (i.e. uninspired and sloppy, drugged out). Well, it's completely the opposite of that: the band is super tight and sharp, the songs are strong. And the production is wonderful. Wonderful, I say.

Not so wonderful has been the crushing weight of despair. Not as bad as that, I suppose, but I had to get your attention. My moods have been all over the place, my thoughts too. All I can do is play it out, keeping myself fit physically, mentally, and spiritually. Even at my worst, there is always the promising glint of hope.

For the last two weeks, I've been attempting to put lyrics to one of the piano songs I wrote while staying at Spira's. It's been a slow process. The song isn't even that long. Ah, I guess I want to get it as right as I can. The key, though, is not to get hyper-critical, which, as you know, kills any song dead. Chipping away, but I'll get 'er done, to quote Sir Larry The Cable Guy, the comeliest and bonniest of knights.

After work today, I got some groceries at the Market Basket in Andover and handled the extreme traffic like a champ. I was proud of myself. I was cool as ice, son! Let's see Billy do that. Nah, he's too invested in the whole mystique of explosive rage. Anyway, I picked up a couple of shower curtain liners to replace the absurdly filthy ones hanging filthily in our bathroom. I came home and went to town. I replaced the liners and scrubbed the tub, sink and toilet. Windexed the mirrors, mopped. I'm so happy that I was proactive. Happy, I say.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to close my eyes and meditate. I hope to tune in to the Holy Spirit and ride that wave for all it's worth. Maybe, if you follow suit, we can meet up somewhere in the multiverse and coalesce for a while. Whaddya say, children?

Actually, if you want to communicate, we can do so via text or Facebook. I'd rather my meditation be spent alone. No offense.

Alright, chaps, see you in the movies.