Me body run down, me feeling weak, the more I try to climb up this mountain peak

I had a post started that detailed my inner struggles of late, but I just couldn't get far with it. Probably for the better. Truthfully, it would take a few posts to explore just what the hell is wrong with me, and it's not worth the time and effort. At least not in this format. What good would it serve? It's not like any of you are going to come to my rescue, and why should you? These days, it's proper form not to get involved. Or maybe it's only proper form for me, but I digress. So, anyway, I'm not writing that post and I'm happy about it. Let's move on to other things, shall we?

Janelle is just about all moved in. She was by last night with her mom and Zico, dropping off some stuff. Rich hung out for a bit, and I think he's feeling good about Janelle and Zico moving in. He just needed to see what they were about.

Speaking of Rich, for about the last two days at work, during trips to the bathroom or windows of down time, I visualized a meeting between him and his boss. Yeah, I know -- what, the fuck? But, it made me laugh and laughing makes the world go round, no?

The premise of the meeting was Rich being called into the boss's office and being toyed with psychologically for some reason. Now, in this case, his boss is the BIG boss -- I'm talking CEO level -- and Rich, like many of us would be, is a little intimidated. And a little nervous because he thinks this meeting with the boss with a capital B will result in him being layed off. Because the company has warned of potential layoffs recently, his nervousness is not far-fetched.

I'm sure at this point, most of you have abandoned ship, but to those of you who are intrigued by this silly fantasy and are still with me, I applaud your sense of adventure and promise to do my best to entertain.

So, Rich gets called in to the boss's office and his loyalty to the company is immediately questioned.

As you know, Rich, the company is going through a rough period and some people are going to lose their jobs as a result. Unavoidable, I'm afraid.

Rich grows tense. His boss looks him hard in the eyes for several seconds.

It's going to come down to loyalty, Rich. The ones who stay on board are going to be the most loyal, the most dedicated. Tell me, Rich: Where do you see yourself three years from now?

Rich knows he needs to answer this question carefully. If he's honest, he'll tell his boss "anywhere but here", but presently he needs this job, so he can't say that. But if he tells him he hopes to still be with the company, his boss mightl know he's bullshitting and just telling him what he wants to hear. And then he might tell Rich to take a hike. But what if he does say "anywhere but here"? Might his boss appreciate his candor and keep him on board for that very reason? Oh, what a pickle! Not knowing how to answer, Rich takes what he believes is the safer route.

I guess I could see myself here, hopefully in an advanced position.

Good, good. Y'know, the word on you is that you're a rat, but I like your style.

Rich is thrown off by the rat comment. He gets along with everyone and stays out of trouble. Disturbing to hear he's thought of as a rat.

So, tell me, why should I keep you over someone else?

Rich slips into job interview mode and recites from the script he's used at every job interview he's had in the last ten years.

Well, I'm hard-working. I work well with others. Uhh, I've been here a few years. I don't call out that much.

Really? I seem to recall reading in your file -- oh yes, Rich, we keep files on everyone -- that you have this mysterious illness that overtakes you only on weekends and prevents you from coming to work on Mondays. If my memory serves, you were afflicted by this illness over five times in the last year. So five Mondays missed. Is that some crazy virus you've got, or is it just bad timing? Well, bad timing for us; I guess, because you get a long weekend out of the deal, it's good timing for you. Anyway, what does your doctor think it is?

Uhh, well, I mean.... I guess it's just timing more than anything. It hasn't been like one illness; there have been other....

Okay, I get the point. What I need to know is if you're loyal to the company. Are you?

Yes. Totally.

Good, good. I think we can make this work.

Now this is where things get a little strange. After Rich assures his boss that he's a company man, his boss tells Rich the company will be having a Follies in the coming weeks and he wants Rich to take part in it.

So, what do you mean by Follies, sir?

You know, like a variety show, that type of thing. Lots of singing and dancing and stuff. We're going to get all the branches together --- there's going to be thousands of people in attendance --and I've gotta say, I see you all over this.

Well, I've never really done....

I have a couple of roles in mind for you, Rich. The first is Baby New Year. Here's the scene: As the MC is doing his thing, you crawl onto the stage wearing diapers and a top hat and everyone applauds because people go ape shit for Baby New Year! And then you tug on the MC's pant leg. He asks you what you want and you say into the microphone with a big, rosy smile "I want to wish all of you a happy, healthy new year!" What do you think?

Uhh, well, I'm not sure I'd be comfortable...

And the second part you'll be playing will thrill the crowd like you wouldn't believe. Have you ever heard of Little Lord Fauntleroy?

Uhh, no. Who's that?

Here's a picture. I can't believe you've never heard of him.



So, who is he?

He was a famous character from books and films. Anyway, we get you all dressed up like him and you prance around the stage like a petulant child. I might have you deliver a lengthy monologue, too, but we'll talk about that in pre-production.

Ok, I can't go on with this. I'm burnt. You get the idea or you don't. I promise my next post will be normal, or as normal as I can make it.