I want to tell her that I love her a lot, but I've got to get a bellyfull of wine, Her Majesty's a pretty nice girl, some day I'm gonna make her mine.

It was busy at work today, probably because we were shorthanded last Friday. This morning, when I went into the room where Ann works, I was bombarded with every one's account of their post-storm trials. While Ann was telling me hers, Therese butted in to tell me about her mother's recovery from surgery. At that moment, I only wanted to hear from Ann, but I can't blame Therese for being conversational, especially when it concerns the health of her mother. I can, however, blame her for being an interrupting shrew. Oh, calm down, I'm just teasing.

Fatigue was the word of the day. Whatever type of bug I have, it hasn't progressed past a mild sore throat and fatigue. All day, I felt like crawling into bed and sleeping for a thousand years. I wonder if this is all I'm going to get, or if it's the beginning of something bigger. Whatever it is that ails me, I'm not going out running tonight, though it's great weather for it, nor will I be doing any yoga. Nope, it's laying in bed reading reading from McMurtry's Dead Man's Walk, a fantastic read, and watching some Celtics for me.

So, in the interest of reaching that goal, let's get to some awards. If you're not familiar with these awards I speak of, all you need to know is that it's the end of the year and I feel like handing out awards, which, as you'll see, will be arbitrary in nature.

Best beverage award

Poland Springs sparkling water, mandarin orange style. I forget how I got started with it, but it's pretty much all I drink. If you've been in my car or looked in my recycling bin, you'll know what I'm talking about when you see all the empty bottles. It's the perfect storm of a beverage, at least as far as I'm concerned. It's got the carbonated feel, but without all the attendant syrup and sugar that soda provides. And it quenches the thirst better than pretty much any drink. The lime flavor is good, the lemon tastes like Pledge, and the raspberry-lime is a little too cutesy. It's got to be mandarin orange.

Trade of the year award

Nope, not the Chauncey Billups/Allen Iverson deal in the NBA -- I'm talkin' about the Mass/NH blockbuster that sent Luke Warm up north and is about to bring Janelle back to bean town. So who made out it in this deal? Well, I heard Luke Warm and his bff, The Kremlin, did while on a canoeing trip at their secret lake a while back, but that's not what I'm getting at. The winner in this deal is definitely Mass. Sorry NH'ers, but it's true, and I'll give you some solid, irrefutable, reasons why.

1. Janelle has a dog, son! Luke Warm has nothing, and if he did get a pet, he'd get some boring, antisocial house cat. Zico, Janelle's pooch, on the other hand, brings the party with him wherever he goes.

2. Luke Warm hates the movie Adaptation, which is making me angry just thinking about it, and I'm pretty sure Janelle thinks it's a good movie, like most free-thinking, intelligent Americans. So, basically, Janelle has taste and Luke Warm has none.

3. Janelle didn't laugh and laugh over the misfortune of the Katrina victims for as long as Luke Warm did. He just wouldn't stop.

4. Luke Warm doesn't bake tasty, artistic, cakes like Janelle does. All he makes is a mess of every one's good time.

5. Janelle is spiritually inclined and has a deep yearning to uncover life's mysteries. The closest Luke Warm ever got to any of that was when he said "All I want out of this life is to watch TV with a beer in my hand and a barely legal milking my semi-stiff cock dry".

Ok, I'm feeling weak, and not just over Luke Warm's vulgarity, so I'll continue with the awards in a subsequent post.