Monday, July 23, 2007

Sometimes I think it's a shame, when I feel like I'm winning when I'm losing again

Yesterday events conspired to make sure I didn't engage in any social activities. I was going to do some chores, go to Chelmsford to see my parents, and then go out to dinner with Amanda. Spira had called me the night before inviting me to go to the beach with her and Luke Warm, but I declined because of time restrictions.

The first wrench in the works was my parents not being available. They ended up going to my sisters to baby sit my nieces and it would have been too much of a drive to go all the way to Ashburnham for a visit. I called Amanda around noon and got her voice mail. I told her I was just calling to see if we were still on for later. After hanging up, I went for a run, came home and showered. I checked my phone--no calls.

Some time after three, I received a call from Amanda. I knew right away she was bailing on me; I could tell from the tone of her voice. She had an assignment for school she needed to take care of and wouldn't be able to do anything with me. She suggested today for a rain date, and I said sure, but I didn't expect it would happen.

After that, I called Luke Warm and got his voice mail. Then I tried Spira and got her voice mail. I was pretty sure they were still together; maybe they were sore that I didn't go out with them in the first place and weren't inclined to hang out with me anymore.

Very odd, yesterday. I didn't do a thing. Kind of sad and frustrating, but I got by. I had been looking forward to seeing Amanda, but after talking with her I felt kind of foolish for thinking that way. I had hoped to see my parents--hadn't seen them since my birthday--but that didn't happen, either. And Spira and Luke Warm disappeared into the ether. Oh well, I got to watch El Topo, a film that had finally made it to dvd after being out of print for years.

Well, there's nothing for it but to go on with my life and hope that yesterday wasn't a sign of things to come.

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