I won't forget all the times I waited patiently for you

It's been slowing down at work and I'm pleased with this development. It was fairly brutal for awhile--May and June were harsh mistresses--and now that we're making a slow entry into our down time, I've had more time to amuse myself at Ryan's expense. I've played phone tricks on him ( see one of my recent posts), shut the light out on him while he was in the bathroom taking one his many marathon craps, and put all manner of stickers on his back and butt (I wouldn't apply the sticker with my hand in that instance, but would kneel by his chair making as if I was looking for something on the floor, and right when he'd be about to sit down, with deft sleight of hand, I'd place the sticker sticky side up on the chair and let him unwittingly affix it himself ). My latest trick, I do believe, trumps them all.

I didn't set out to mess with Ryan, but when he said to me the other day, "Gio and Lenny just left to go to Brookline", I held back the laugh that had risen from my gut and kept my cool. See, Ryan had erroneously referred to Larry as "Lenny" and I wasn't about to disabuse him of that notion. Strange, I thought, that Ryan would utter the name of his man- crush incorrectly, but a gift is a gift and this was one of the better ones I'd received in a long while.

Periodically throughout the day, I'd bring "Lenny" up in conversation. "Is Lenny back from lunch?", I'd ask Ryan."Did you give Lenny his check?". "Karen's thinking about having Bill teach Lenny how to operate some of the machinery out back." I made sure to keep a straight face and only brought "Lenny" up when it was only Ryan and me in the room.

At one point, as I was wrapping up a conversation with Karen, I even went as far as staying on the phone after she had hung up in an effort to reinforce the "Lenny" myth. "Yeah, I had Dan and Lenny move the truck", I said to the dial tone. "Oh, you want Lenny to go on lunch first ? I'll make it happen." I made sure not to overdo it and distributed my "Lennys" with careful precision. Ryan was none the wiser.

The payoff came later in the day, but only after a bump in the road. Much to my chagrin, Ryan had referred to Larry as Larry, and my heart sunk. I did my best to hide my dismay and rather than succumbing to defeat, I redoubled my efforts. Finally, about an hour later, Ryan asked me why "Lenny" was late to work that morning. Good boy! I could have kissed the son-of-a-bitch, but I held back because he eats his boogers and fingernails and emits the foulest odors I've ever had the displeasure of whiffing.

After that, it was all gravy. Ryan only referred to Larry as "Lenny" and all was well in the world. My mind, body, and spirit were aligned in the satisfaction of a pulled-off prank. I expect I'll have to do some touch-up work in the days ahead, but I'm pretty sure I've stamped the "Lenny" myth firmly into Ryan's head.

Now, I don't claim ownership of this frame job; in fact, I'm pretty sure Jim did something similar to Dwight on "The Office". Whether I was the author of this prank is moot; what matters is I was able to convince Ryan that "Larry" was "Lenny", and in the process amuse myself.