Come in here, dear boy, have a cigar

The weather today was glorious. Warm enough to go swimming, but cool enough to wear jeans. A nice, laid back breeze, happy children running through the fields....

I had something in mind to write about, but seem to have forgotten it. So why am I bothering posting? Maybe I just feel the need to share something, anything; maybe it's purely ego driven. Ah, that's something to explore, how much influence the ego has over this blog. Let's explore, dear readers.

My original intention with this blog was to have a forum in which I could keep my writing chops up, such as they were, with the secondary purpose of sharing some of my life with a legion of faithful readers (Well, maybe not that many and maybe not that faithful, but let's just say I envisioned at least a handful of readers who checked in fairly often). And I also figured I could use the blog as a means of work-shopping things that were on my mind. You know, like trying to work out why, despite my pure-heartedness, classic good looks, and modest demeanor, women find me utterly repulsive in almost every conceivable way.

Of course, the ego has a role in the goings on here, but I try to keep it subdued. I'm not sure of the source, and I'm paraphrasing, but it's been said that many people get married because they need a witness to their lives. There's the ego for you. Is this blog my wife, my witness? I suppose it is. Otherwise, I'd keep the damn thing private, or not do it at all. But, and I can say this with confidence, the ego plays a limited role here. Let me clarify: I try to keep its role limited. The ego is a crafty little git and a master of disguise. I'm sure it's exerted its will in ways I haven't been privy to. You could argue this entire post is the ego posing as my ego-less, divine, self. Ah, who cares if it is.

You can see the ego in full bloom on Facebook. Not with everyone, but some people give their egos free reign there. And, really, it's an easy thing to do, given the nature of the site. Some people are just more obvious about it. A post like "Just got back from partying in Milan" is an example. I can't think of any other likely reason to post something like that other than to stroke the ego. Then there's "vaguebooking", which is such an overt call for attention, it makes my stomach queasy. " Here we go again" or " This is amazing!" are examples of it. You can't just come out with it, you have to make the reader pull the information out of you. "What do you mean, here we go again? Everything alright?" Fuck that, I say. I make it a point not to reply to vaguebookers. Get other people to play your little games.

By the way, I like Facebook. It's a great way to stay connected to friends and family and it can even be educational. Sure there are braggarts and vaguebookers, but you'll find them everywhere. Even on this here blog (Hey, it happens).

Oh, the dream! That's what I was going to write about. It was short and strange. I was a contestant on Survivor, or a show very much like it. One challenge, and I think it was the first, was like dodgeball, only instead of using balls, slices of pizza would be thrown. I was the target. I saw, immediately prior to the commencement of the game, that some people had plastic guns that were to shoot meatballs at me. This was in addition to the people who would be throwing pizza slices at me. I determined that my strategy was going to be one in which I'd let them shoot/throw first and then I'd duck and dodge. I had a feeling that these missiles would be easy enough to avoid. I was right. The meatballs shot out of the plastic guns like they were on Valium and the pizza slices weren't very aerodynamic or easy to project. I weaved in an out of the incoming artillery with ease. Nothing struck me and I won the contest.

I was a hero. Everyone came over to congratulate me and I felt slightly undeserving, but only slightly. A former coworker of mine from years past came up to me. I hadn't seen her in years and, man, she was looking fine. She made it clear that she was very impressed with my athleticism and wanted to pursue something amorous with me. I was all for it. Amidst the hand shaking, cheers, and other methods of adulation, I woke up.

I'm not even going to bother trying to figure this one out, but we were just discussing the ego....

Alright, I'm off to do things like read, meditate, and finish my tasty coffee.