I go to the place where danger awaits me, and it's bound to forsake me

I spent a good part of last weekend feeling unbalanced and withdrawn. The latter feeling was half my own doing and half the result of not fitting into any one's plans. I've been through worse, to be sure, but I'd rather be reporting a brilliant weekend, filled with vim and vigor, love and laughter.

Been listening to the new triple album by Joanna Newsom and enjoying it thoroughly. She's always being described as fragile and elfin, but the truth is she has more sack than almost all of her contemporaries. Her last album, Ys, only her second, was an orchestral masterpiece and a bold step forward from her debut. And now, with Have One On Me, she goes and puts out a triple album that's nothing short of ambitious. Fragile? I think not.

I was fortunate the other night to catch a documentary on the Sundance channel about Rufus Wainwright's attempt at writing and producing an opera. Here's another musician willing to be bold. It was inspiring, almost entirely about the creative process. I've been a huge Rufus fan since his debut.
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Mara texted me on Monday inquiring if I'd be up for watching Lost with her and Jessica. I responded that I'd already made plans to watch it with Foley. About five minutes later, she called. She told me she was leaving for New Orleans on Wednesday and was hoping to see me before she left. She went on to say that her and David were kaput. It seems he just wanted to be friends.

I had mixed emotions. A part of me felt relieved, another part felt bad for her. The fact that I felt relieved wasn't surprising; I'd been monitoring my feelings since I heard about this relationship and a good chunk of them were self-serving. At least, I thought, I was aware of this fact, however much I wished I felt otherwise. Most of all, though, I wished, for her sake, things had worked out between them, at least a while longer. We didn't talk about it too much, but I could tell she was disappointed. I'll be seeing her tonight; maybe she'll open up to me.

Foley and I grabbed some coffee at True Grounds before Lost came on. We hadn't hung out in a while; we had some catching up to do. We talked about a friend who has, for all intents and purposes, dropped off the face of the earth. It's been distressing to me, not having this person in my life anymore. It's a shame, really, but he wants it this way. He's moving on, I guess.

Back at my place, we watched Lost and theorized about what the new developments meant. For every answered question on this show, there are always at least five more that arise.

A rainy, dreary, day. I took it off. I didn't do too much. I read, watched The Abyss until the picture started fragmenting heavily. I needed a day like this, I think, but it's time to get back into the flow of things.