Eyes wide open, naked as we came

Matt Stone, on Bill Simmon's podcast, made me break out in applause. He was talking about how needy Harley riders are. He opined that their bikes are so eardrum-pulverizingly loud because they want everyone to look at them. They may as well wear neon signs around their necks that flash " HEY EVERYONE, LOOK AT ME. PLEASE!", he said. Couldn't agree more. And then he wondered how many conversations and thoughts a Harley disrupts driving down the streets of New York City. Thousands, he figured. In the span of seconds. All because of some needy ass hole.

I suppose we're all needy in our own ways, to varying degrees, and, no, I don't believe all Harley riders on their their noise machines are needy -- only about 98%, I figure -- but I thought that was an astute observation by Mr. Stone. I wonder how many other people find Harleys oppressingly loud. I know there are different models, and some are more loud than other, but in my experience at least, most of them are pretty fucking loud.

Someone told me they make them that way as a safety precaution; if the bike is loud, people, drivers and pedestrians alike, will be aware of its presence and, consequently, accidents will be less likely to occur. I'm not sure I'm entirely on board with that notion, true or not. For one thing, they're so fucking loud that they're probably more likely to cause an accident than prevent one. For the latter to occur, one must have his bearings about him (or her bearings about her -- let's not be sexist). There's a reason why people listen to soft, pleasant music and not the beastly roar of a Harley when they want to relax.

Stone said they're making a South Park episode about the topic, and he's actually kind of nervous he'll offend some Hell's Angel and get beat eight ways to Sunday. In the interest of preserving my own skin, though I find it extremely unlikely members of the Hell's Angels read this blog, I'll state for the record that, despite my having my world tossed around like a seal at the mercy of a pod of Killer Whales, every time a Harley rides within a two mile radius of where I am, I think they'd be pretty cool to ride. Well, at least the less noisy ones.

Oh, and about those Killer Whales.

Top Facts about Killer Whales

1. Killer Whales are one of the fastest creatures in the sea, traveling up to 30 miles per hour.
   
2. Killer Whales are able to control the flow of blood to their hearts and brains, which keeps them from suffering from a lack of oxygen when they are deep underwater.
   
3. killer Whales eat up to 5% of their body weight each day. This averages out to over 500 pounds of food for each Orca.
   
4. Killer Whales do most of their socialization within their own pods. However, pods do socialize with other pods as well.
   
5. When breeding, Killer Whales do not breed with relatives. They only breed with killer whales that are not closely related to them within their own pods.

I'd say no.'s 1 and 3 are where me and Killer Whales are most alike.
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More Herzog tonight? Maybe. I watched The Enigma Of Kaspar Hauser with her last night. She fell asleep through it but professed to enjoy the bits she saw. I didn't tell her it was sacrilege falling asleep through a Herzog film, but my murderous eyes and quivering lip said as much, I'm sure. So, maybe I'll watch a film of his tonight.

Maybe I'll shower. I still feel loose from the yoga I did earlier in the day; maybe a soak will make me even looser. Too bad I don't Twitter, or tweet, as it were. Otherwise, I'd let you know from the shower how it was going. You know, so you wouldn't have to wait any longer than necessary to hear the results.