Someone's had too much to think

A few years ago, I started noticing teenage girls wearing AC/DC t-shirts. These were not your garden variety rock tees; no, these were tailor made for young girls. Some had the band's logo encrusted with glitter, some were pink, none displayed tour dates or anything else other than the name of the band. A strange sight. If you know anything about AC/DC, you know their lyrics tend toward the misogynist and, consequently, their fan base is comprised of mostly men.

So, were all these teenage girls wearing these shirts to be ironic? I am certain they weren't. I doubt they had even heard of AC/DC. I bet if the parents of these girls had heard songs like "Sink The Pink", or "Squealer", they might have reconsidered their daughter's fashion choice (Then again, they may not have minded so much. The misogyny of AC/DC is quaint compared to that of much of the hip hop kids are listening to. Where AC/DC and bands of their ilk veiled theirs with double entendres and innuendo, many hip hop artists do so blatantly.)

I have no idea who engineered the marketing of this t shirt trend, but it seems kind of random, which I like to a degree, but am also unsettled by. I'm waiting for the day senior citizens start wearing Justin Bieber shirts. Actually, I'd rather see Noam Chomsky wearing a WWE tee.

This got me thinking about how we're all a bunch of walking billboards. The degrees in which this occurs varies, but it's almost impossible not to wear an article of clothing that serves as an advertisement of some kind. And many of us wear clothing for that specific purpose. Back to AC/DC. Most people wearing their hats or shirts or buttons are doing so to promote the band at the same time they're promoting themselves liking the band. Or to be ironic. Since the majority of the girls wearing the AC/DC shirts have probably not heard, or heard of, the band, none of the above logic fits. So why are they wearing these shirts? "Uh, cuz they're like cool."

Fair enough.

I used to wear rock t-shirts a lot when I was a kid. I used to get them at the flea market my mother would take me to on Sundays. I had some cool ones. I'll never forget my Ozzy baseball tee, with the cover of "Diary of A Madman" on the front. Now, was I doing my part in promoting Ozzy, spreading the word about his dark brand of hard rock? Hell, no - I just wanted other kids to see how cool I was for being a fan of his. If, as a result of this, more people became fans of Ozzy, then so be it, but it certainly wasn't my intention.

I used to work with a guy at that crazy warehouse I've written about who wore Green Bay Packers shirts and hats every single day. From head to toe, he'd be bedecked in Packer memorabilia. For him, I believe this shock and awe ad campaign was more totemistic than anything else. He was such a fan of the team, so invested in how they performed, and superstitious, he believed he was helping the team by draping himself with their junk. I think a lot of sports fans do the same.

With your average sports fan who walks around advertising a team on their clothing, I think the reasoning for this behavior can be multifold and broken down thusly: 1. As a totem of the transferred pleasure they derive from the team 2. As a totem that carries lucky mojo for the team's success 3. To generate conversation/feel part of something bigger than yourself ("No way, dude! You like the Red Sox, too? I thought I was the only one out there!") 4. To spread the word 5. Hey, you've gotta wear something.

These days, the only conscious advertising I wear is the Celtics hat I own. My reasons for the purchase encompass No's. 1 and 5 in the above paragraph. As a by product, if someone approaches me, preferably an attractive woman who's into epic fantasy novels, Werner Herzog, and long walks on the beach, and strikes up a conversation about the team, then great. And then we'll start dating and, later on we'll get married and have matching Celtics tattoos on our arms as a sign of our love for each other and, more importantly, the team.