We have all been here before

Yesterday was my mother's birthday and I would have forgotten if my father hadn't reminded me. And that was after I had just left my parents a voice mail that covered subjects other than my mother's birthday. My father told me she felt hurt. I don't blame her. I got her on the phone and apologized profusely and sincerely, but I didn't make a single excuse. I told her the flat out, disappointing truth: I forgot. The fact that I did, I explained, revealed only that I can be flaky, that my head resides in the clouds more often than perhaps it should, and had no bearing on how much I love her. She could have replied, and fairly so, that if I loved her so much, I would have remembered her birthday, but she didn't. She seemed to understand and took it in stride. But I know I hurt her, and I know I messed up.

I'm not pleased that I forgot my mother's birthday - it's inexcusable, especially at this stage in my life - but I owned up to it, made no excuse, and moved on. I didn't beat myself up about it, either. It happened, I moved on. If for nothing else in this circumstance, I'm proud of myself for that, and I got the sense my mother was, too. If I'm worth my salt as a son and as a human, I will use this experience as motivation to never forget her birthday again. Or anyone else's.

Out of the conversation with my mother, I agreed to accompany my parents to Boston on a dry run to the courthouse my mother will be visiting next month for jury duty. To say that she's apprehensive about the whole thing would be putting it mildly. My mother is a jittery driver and ten times worse as a passenger. Just the idea of driving in the city almost makes her pass out. Even if my father drives her in everyday (because this is a federal court she'll be serving in, she might have to be there for a week, even if she's not selected for a case), she's going to freak out. Tomorrow's dry run is meant to alleviate some anxiety. My guess is, even if the trip's a success, her anxiety will lessen only the slightest bit. The good news is, the court house is outside the city proper and should be more or less of a straight shot.

I'm not sure why I'm needed on this trip, especially since I'm not too familiar with that part of the city, but I suppose it's about moral support. We're heading out early to avoid any traffic. Initially, my mother wanted me to drive the forty minutes to their house rather than them picking me up on the way. When I told her it made much more sense for them to pick me up, especially since I live right outside the city, she hedged a bit. "I don't know if I'm up for having to locate two places", she said (My parent's still haven't been to my place, despite the fact that I've lived here a number of years). She eventually came around and saw the logic in them picking me up.

I've portrayed my mother as being a nervous wreck, and she is in certain situations. Much of the time, though, she's even-keeled. She's a strong, caring, woman, overall, but she has her neurotic tendencies. And this one related to driving, is a doozey. I really think she should talk to a professional about it. It's not going to be a fun, relaxed trip tomorrow, that's for sure, but I'm happy to go. It's the least I can do.
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Just watched the USA/England World Cup game. I love the sport, played all the way through high school, and this game, which resulted in a tie, was a fine one. This tournament, played on a world stage, is colossal and makes America's big sporting events, like the so-called World Series and The Super Bowl, seem puny. I watched the entire game and loved it.
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Last week, when things at work were at a crawl, I started thinking about reality and how much we as individuals are able to script it. I'm already convinced that through intention one can manifest his or her desires, but are we able to influence things seemingly more outside ourselves? With that question in mind, I recalled a time when we were busy at work. Last year we got stacks of orders from a title clearing company that was almost overwhelming. That's what we need now, I thought. I pictured what it would be like having all that work pour in.

A day or two later we were swamped with work from the very same company. I didn't stop once this past week, we were so busy. It was like rain on the crops after a drought. Coincidence, or did I manifest this development? I'm guessing the former, but still, pretty cool.
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There's more, but I just looked at the time and I've got to be rambling.

Cheers.