Somehow through the days I don't give in, I hide the tears that wait within

About twenty minutes ago, I backed into the driveway and saw that the door to my house was wide open. That wasn't alarming; Rich often keeps the door open to let some air into the house. I stayed in the car for a minute or two, gathering up some trash to throw away. While this was going on, I had the thought that the door to the house would be closed when I made it to the house. Why did I think this? Because Rich, despite being an otherwise normal guy, does this type of thing. I won't go into detail here, because, frankly, it would take a couple of posts to really plumb the depths of his frequently odd behavior.

Sure enough, when I got out of the car, I saw that the door was indeed closed. Could it be he didn't see my car in the driveway, even though it was only about five feet away from the door and fairly loud music was emanating from it? I think you can answer that yourself. What really irked me, was that when I attempted to open the door, it was locked. Was that some kind of point he was making? Was he playing a little prank on me? Did he worry that a burglar would take advantage of the unlocked door, make his way into the house, rape and butcher him before he made off with all his valuables, before I got out of my car? This last scenario--- and this should give you an idea of Rich's thought process --- is the most likely, in my opinion. But, that's where I'm ending this topic, because I just don't have it in me today to try and figure out the psychology behind my roommate.
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Spira threw a birthday party for Seany Boy yesterday at his place in JP and, after having some other plans fall through, I decided to attend. I picked Sarah up and we carpooled over. We only got a little lost and made it there in one piece.

It was a nice gathering. I got to meet Sean's friends, all nice people, and Luke Warm and Janelle represented from my side of the street. There was a big spread of food, only some of which I took advantage of, unfortunately. Guess I wasn't that hungry.

I had fun playing with Zico, Janelle's pooch, and at one point he managed to rip apart his plush toy chicken, removing a small clear plastic bag from it. At first it appeared to be a bag of coke, but upon closer inspection, it was apparent that it was only the little plastic button wrapped in gauze that makes the toy squeak. Even still, I jokingly accused Janelle of transporting dope and Sean, after overhearing me, came over to make sure I was kidding because his cousin, who was in attendance, was a DEA agent and probably wouldn't be thrilled at seeing a bag of dope being tossed around by a dog. It would have sucked if Z got busted.

Had a good conversation with a guy (forget his name) from Dublin. I told him I'd like to get over to the "homeland" someday and trace my roots. "Listen", he said, "All you'll have to do is announce your name and you'll be well taken care of. You'll have a lot of drinks bought for you and before you know it, you'll be a bona fide lush." Maybe I'll go to Brussells instead.

After the party, I came home and hung with Craig and discussed the recording we've been doing while listening to some Lee Perry. Later, I stepped outside to see what was going on with the neighborhood block party. Not much at all, it turned out. Lame, just like last year's party.

Know what? It's unavoidable, but I'm not thrilled over the fact that I'm the guy women pass over in favor of my other, better looking friends. It's happened so much in my life, in addition to other types of rejection, that I'm pretty much fed up and don't feel like making much of an effort with women. A defeatist attitude I suppose, but one with merit. One day, even though the odds are slim, I'd like to find myself when I'm in a situation where I'm interested in someone who is equally interested in me. Doesn't seem like a tall order, but holy fuck is it ever! Oh, well, not going to stew over this any longer. Going to listen to some Everly Brothers and maybe watch An American Werewolf In London.

Speaking of movies, I was pretty impressed with Blood Diamond. Leo Dicaprio had the performance of his carreer and should have won an Oscar, but it was enough that he was nominated. Good stuff.