A short post tonight. I've let the time get ahead of me and I need to accomplish a few tasks before bed. I'm pretty tired; Mara and I saw her friend Aleister play last night (very good performer) and by the time we got to bed, it was pretty late. And once in bed, Mara wanted to address some things about our future together. It needed to be said, especially since it had been on her mind, but I think I would have been more receptive to it if I wasn't so sleepy. Also, I had suffered a somewhat traumatic event earlier in the evening and had difficulty giving my full attention to the conversation. All of that notwithstanding, it was a productive heart to heart. Who knows where things are headed? We certainly don't, that's for sure. But who ever does?
My life feels so weird to me lately. I feel I've grown in some ways and that is heartening. But in other ways I feel adrift, moving further and further away from my sense of self. It's tough to let go, to let matters unfurl as they will, as they must, but that is what I need to do. The ego does not relinquish it's control without a fight.
Ok, it's off to work on some tunes. It's a fertile time to write, with all that's going on. I wish I could share everything, but I can't. I think about the one who's about a mover, even now in my current situation, and wonder what I'd do if.... See, I can't divulge certain things because it wouldn't be right, and it wouldn't be fair to any of us because I'm afraid I'd misrepresent myself and others terribly. I wish I could wrap my arms around the thoughts and feelings I have, the ones that don't see the light of day, but as of yet, I am not confident that I could do so with clarity. Maybe some day. Until then, you'll have to settle for the crumbs, my friends.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment