And I'll give you my eyes for the colors that rise

I was busier than a ball in a room full of puppies at work yesterday. Made the day go by quickly, but there were several close calls that endangered things running smoothly, but they were overcome with grace and ease. By Kim, not me. I was an emotional wreck; I hid in the bathroom, staring in the mirror, red faced and weepy, trying to coax myself back to work. "You get yourself back out there soldier and make it work. You make it work or it's your ass. Your ass, I tell you!", I said through gritted teeth. As drained as I was at day's end, I came home and did some yoga, which actually gave me a bit more energy.

I bought a package of salmon wraps at the sushi bar after work and threw one of them away by accident. I intended to put it back in the fridge and somewhere along the line it made it to the trash instead. The reason I bring this up is because I actually considered retrieving the food from the trash once I realized my folly, which was about forty five minutes later. I figured that if it was still in it's close-to-airtight package and at the surface of the trash, then perhaps it wouldn't be such a gross thing to put it in the fridge and eat it later. In the end, I chose to cast my lot with the civilized people of the world and left the food where it was. Maybe if it didn't involve raw salmon, things would have been different. Probably not, but who knows. And it became an easy decision once I remembered that Kreg and Rich often use the trash barrel as a toilet. Fucking animals!

--
Amanda, new to this blog, read some of my Thanksgiving post to her mother; mostly the vulgar parts about the different methods I've used to get out of my Nana's house without getting sidetracked. I can only imagine what her mother must think of me. The horror! Short of retracting what I wrote, I want to point out that I was not myself when that post was written. I've come to find out, even though I don't have what others would call proof, that Rick, my landlord's brother, had dosed my coffee with oxy's and crystal meth that night and, consequently, I can't be held accountable for what was published. How I think that twisted son of a bitch pulled it off, I won't get into now. I probably should confront him, but my heart tells me to let him be; soon enough, Lucifer, the fallen angel, will get a hold of him and will rape his ass eight ways to Sunday for eternity in the cauldron of Hell.

All of that being said, I will accept responsibility for all of the repulsive things that I wrote. When your heart is as pure as the driven snow, as mine obviously is, that is what you do. I did, however, come across the post I had intended on publishing before that sinister bastard, Rick foiled my plans. Hopefully, by publishing it now, the real me will shine through and people, like Amanda's mother, won't view me as a wretched, vulgar, monster. I present to you the post in it's entirety.

Golly, what a splendid Thanksgiving I had! I awoke that morning to the sound of a bird chirping it's melodious song outside my window. I hopped out of bed, opened the window, and there, on a nearby branch, sat a Blue Jay! "Good morning, Mr. Blue Jay!", I exclaimed. "What a magnificent creature you are. Why don't you come on up here so I can give you a treat." I reached in my drawer and pulled out the "birdie snack-pack" I keep at the ready for occasions such as these, and poured some seeds into my palm. When the Blue Jay landed on my sill, I was ready for him. As he feasted on the seeds, I stroked his pretty blue head and said nice things about him that, if his face was structured like mine, would have made him smile.

After Mr. Blue Jay finished his Thanksgiving feast, I laid a soft kiss on his beak and sent him on his way. "Pay it forward, little buddy. Pay it forward", I called out as he flew off into the distance.

The guys were still sleeping, so I put off making them breakfast for a while. I got into my sweat suit and practiced tai-chi in the park for an hour, followed by a pleasant twelve mile jog. When I returned to the house it was still relatively early---almost seven o'clock--so I jogged over to the local soup kitchen and served breakfast to Somerville's finest. I exchanged some friendly banter with Eric, who came waltzing in around eight o'clock.

"So what's on the menu today, Chief?" he asked me. "How about whipping me up a five cheese omelette and a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice?"

"Nice try, Eric. It's cornbread and coffee. Same as always."

"Hey, it doesn't hurt to ask", he said.

What a rascal Eric is!

When I got back to the house around eleven thirty, Kreg and Rich were just getting up so I made them some fresh coffee and my famous turkey-shaped pancakes with a side of fresh fruit. They ate like savage animals, groaning and moaning, with crumbs and spittle all over their faces. It was quite the display, but I was pleased that they enjoyed the meal and gave a silent word of thanks to the Creator that I was able to provide joy and comfort to my friends.

Later on at Nana's house, I made an announcement. "Everyone, I am truly blessed to have such a decent, caring family, but I'm afraid I have to leave you."

"Oh, no, you can't go yet", Nana said with a shake of her head. "I just put coffee on."

"I'm sorry Nana, but I'm needed elsewhere. The time I've spent with you all today has nourished my heart and I'm thankful each and every one of you is a part of my life. You are so very dear to me; you are welded to my soul; and even though I'd be up for some more good times with you, I'm looking forward to my next destination."

"Where would that be", my Uncle Gene said in a voice laced with new-born anguish.

"THE ORPHANAGE!" I roared, whipping my hand skyward, as if in victory.

"But we're your family", my lovely niece Kiley said.

I knelt down and put my arm around her. "That is true, Kiley, but the children at the orphanage aren't as lucky as me. They have no family."

"They don't have mothers or fathers? Or brothers and sisters?"

"They don't, and that is why I must go to them. "

"Can I come with you?", she asked.

"If your mother and father say it's alright. It would be nice having assistance handing out all the pies that I baked."

"Well, I think you should take some leftovers before you go", Nana said.

"Well, okay, Nana, that would be a swell idea. You are very kind to share your food with me. I thank God on my knees every day and every night that you are my grandmother."

While Nana put my care package together, I called the rest of my family into the dining room one by one, as I do every Thanksgiving, and gave them each a personalized and heartfelt goodbye. When that was through I returned to the kitchen to check the status of my leftovers.

"How's it coming, Nana?"

"How's what coming, dear?"

"The left overs".

"Oh, you wanted left overs? You should have told me. Why don't you go have a seat and I'll put some together for you."

"I'm sorry, Nana, but I must be going. The children--I have to think of the children."

"It'll only take a few minutes. Why don't you go upstairs and take a shower. Showers are very relaxing."

I was beginning to grow frustrated with my inability to leave the house. The whole time in the shower, I thought of how disappointed the children would be if I didn't show up soon. It would be the first time in twelve years that I showed up late. "I can't let them down", I thought.

When I checked in with Nana after the shower, she hadn't gotten my leftovers together. I wasn't thrilled about her duplicity in keeping me there. I walked up to her and grabbed her by the neck, pulling her in tight. "You've been fucking around with me, haven't you, woman?" I growled in her ear. " What, you think I haven't sniffed out your deceit? All of this shit with the leftovers has gotten on my last nerve. I'm about to blow, and when I do, your walls will be covered in brains, blood, and bone."

My Uncle Gene stepped up to me and put his hand on my shoulder. "Take it easy, Kevin. She meant no harm."

"Get your hand off me, son!", I bellowed. "I will peel away your spine and strangle you with it. Do not touch me again, unless you mean to court me."

He backed away and everyone looked at me like I was a rabid wolf. "What the fuck are you sluts looking at?" I shrieked. "Do you want me to bleed for you? Is that what you want?".

They remained silent. I went over to the sink and picked up the carving knife. I rolled up my sleeve and dragged the blade across my arm. I let the blood pour into my cupped hand and walked over to my stunned relatives. "I'm out of here, bitches, but don't worry---I'm leaving a part of myself with you." I then flung my blood in their direction, much of it settling on their faces and clothing. With that, I stormed out of the house, not looking back once.

Overall, it was a good holiday. A solid A-minus.