It may not seem so, but my spirituality has not much to do with blind faith. Oh, I've been known to go at God harshly; it happened tonight. If you had been in the car with me, you would have wanted to not be in the car (how's that for poetical?). I just watched The Exorcist the other night (one of the greatest of all films); maybe I was inspired.
Any faith worth its meat should be able to withstand questioning. I did a lot of questioning tonight. I bellowed, I cursed. I wept. Horrible, abusive battering directed at myself, at God. Where did it come from? On paper, I should be a mellow fellow almost all the time. I've been meditating daily, going deeper into my yoga practice, eating almost exclusively fruits and vegetables and drinking mostly water and juice. There has been a heightened feeling of clarity. Spikes in mood have been short-lived. So why this raving? My guess is my ego, fearing death more than it ever has, is pulling out all the stops.
I'm alright now. It's been a windy day, inside and out. I'm just riding the waves like a swami.
And, God - we're still tight. Sorry about being a dick.
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