And there's a sunset brimming over the sky

A flash of a post and then I'm off to work on some music. Let's begin and end with today. It started early form me, a little after one a.m.. I had fallen asleep listening to The Incredible String Band and woke to the sound of people talking loudly downstairs. It didn't take me long to figure out it was Matt and Fred and a couple of other alcohol-amplified revelers. Someone was strumming a guitar, I heard the clinking of bottles, and a woman with a harsh, raspy voice cut through the din like a horse whip. The assembly was short-lived but I had trouble falling asleep afterward. I felt knotted up. This aggravation lasted well after I had made up my mind that what had transpired was really not that big of a deal and with a few words could be settled the following day. I meditated and observed my physical state with detachment. I eventually fell asleep.

I was having a dream about my father - I vaguely recall being in a car with him - when the distant sound of my alarm caught my attention. And then the crunch of a tooth breaking. That woke me up quicker than a morning dunk in a mountain stream (not quite as refreshing, though). My tongue located the broken piece. I had been grinding my teeth; whatever was going on with my father in the dream must have stressed me out. I felt like weeping (Oh, dad, your absence is a heavy, terrible thing) I even tried to, but it felt forced, inauthentic. So I got on with my day like anyone who elects for something better than Thoreau's quiet desperation. Sometimes changes have already taken place in one's self but remnants remain that haven't been made aware. Ghosts they be and ghosts they'll remain.

It was so frigid today, I thought my car was going to go into cardiac arrest at various points on my way to work. My day hadn't begun well, no, but I didn't lay down in defeat like some craven, sniveling fool (that would have been me a few years ago - ouch!). I tried to focus on where I wanted to be rather than where I didn't. Pretty crafty, eh? A not too shabby intellect is a fortunate side effect of having a pure heart. Really, though, what good would it have done me to have adopted a victim mentality? I can tell you from experience it never did me one iota of good. If I'm ever going to evolve, I've got to change my approach to the game. So, I chose the path that empowers. I'm unkempt in a number of ways (might have something to do with me being a human being) but I'm also, and primarily, a self aware, fairly evolved individual who was born with the purest of hearts and long, delicate eyelashes. I am not the same person I was. There has been growth. Don't cry for me, friends; as you can see, I'm not as weak and fearful as I may have portrayed myself to be.

My diet has changed rather significantly but not in a completely deliberate way. It just kind of happened. Basically, I've been eating  less. Today, for example, I had a fruit and vegetable smoothie for breakfast, some celery, grape tomatoes, carrots, and an orange at work, and a salad for dinner. I may have a piece of chocolate later, but that will be it. The more I eat in this manner, the more natural it feels. I hardly ever experience the pangs of hunger in the manner I did early on and to the extent that I do, it feels kind of good in a way I can't really describe. So I won't. Ha!

After work, I practiced the same vinyasa routine I've been focusing on in my last few yoga sessions. It's brought my practice to a more meaningful level. That's bad news for you, Billy.

It gets late and this was not a quick post. The music may have to wait until tomorrow. Oh, well. Good bye, my bonnie lads and lasses.