I'm shooting for a quick post, but whenever that is my aim, the results are often contradictory. Nothing for it but to go for it. I'll type quickly, getting my thoughts out with little filtering. We'll come as close to stream-of-consciousness territory as you can get, which means typos, unfinished and inarticulate ideas, etc. Why post at all, then? Because I feel like it, asshole. Jesus! Let's just.....move on, shall we? It won't be that bad. Remember, I'm pure-hearted.
After work on Friday, I headed up to Tracy and Ray's house. We ate dinner and talked and I played with Faith and James, two of my favorite kids ever. Faith and I resumed our staring contest, which we engage in every time we see each other. Don't tell her, but she never stood a chance; I went to staring camp every summer since I was eight. I'm what you would call an expert.
After the kids went to bed, Tracy, Ray, and I talked until around midnight (mostly about you, Billy). They held out as long as they could, but sleep is a harsh mistress and required their attention. And, as it happened, mine. I didn't think I was that sleepy, but when I got under the covers in the guest room, I fell asleep within minutes of reading from The Gunslinger (which, for the record, houses one of King's best, and most profound, bits of writing in the chapter where Roland and the Man In Black palaver throughout an endless night). I woke up at some point wondering where I was. Once figured out, I fell back asleep and entered into a long reel of dreams, most pleasant, except for the one one in which I met a quick "Oh Shit!" death when I got plowed into by a car while crossing a street. No, pleasant would not be how I'd describe that one.
I awoke in the morning to the pattering of rain on the roof. I came downstairs and Tracy made me pancakes and coffee and, along with Ray, we talked for a few hours. Reason # 14 why Faith and James are such good kids (and let no credit escape their parents for their disposition): they don't have to be the center of attention at all times. They were content playing in the other room while the grown ups talked, and when they did interact with us, it wasn't out of an urgent need for attention.
I drove home around one in the rain and gloom. I wasn't feeling so hot. Sore throat, headache, and runny nose assailed me in unpredictable increments. The food poisoning I thought I had earlier in the week was most assuredly allergy related. The excessive pollen could be the culprit. Leave me alone, you green bully!
Today, I'm feeling the same. It's manageable, but the motivation to practice yoga is barely there. Ah, but I'll do it all the same. You've got to push through the doldrums if you want to accomplish anything in life. Later, I'll read from The Drawing of The Three (Who spins a juicier tale than Stephen King?) and listen to the new Sun Kil Moon. I may watch Vertigo again or Herzog's Into The Abyss. Low key is how it shall be. Don't expect to find me getting my dance on at some young blood club with Ke$ha pulsing in my eardrums. Not today. Tomorrow? Perhaps.
Enjoy your day, my brothers and sisters, and remember to tell yourself This Too Shall Pass when things take a turn toward the shitty or uncomfortable. Every single thing in life changes-the sweet, the sour, everything. Should go without saying, but we all lie to ourselves about this prevailing aspect of life. Nothing stays the same and dealing with this truth can bring suffering, but it can also bring liberation. You decide which.
Post Script. I've practiced yoga, taken a shower, eaten an orange, and traipsed through the fields of the internet. I'm hungry and think upon the avocado I'll be including in my supper later on. Will I be able to contain the urge to eat it now? I can't say for sure, but I'm confident that will be the case. To be sure, eating a ripe avocado is one of the most sublime experiences you're likely to experience on this vast earth, but it is patient and doesn't invade your skull with aggressive, urgent, hypnosis like Tolkien's ring that beckons, always beckons.
So I will remain steadfast like Galadriel and wait on that avocado. Or something like that.
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