Ten silver saxes, a bass with a bow, the drummer relaxes, and waits between shows

The Gordon Lightfoot show was pretty cool. I'm impressed he's still touring; only 18 shows, but the guy is 72 and has had some serious health issues, like being in a coma for 6 weeks. My mother kept commenting that it was a young crowd, but I guess everything is relative because there were probably only a handful of people younger than forty.

Prior to the show, we ate at Bertucci's (sic?). We weren't seated right away, and I wondered if my mother was going to be okay with that. She can be pretty high-strung when out in public and is able to find things to complain about even when things seem to be running smoothly. I say this reluctantly; she's my mother and I love her very much and I don't want to portray her in a negative light. However..... she could definitely use a day at a spa, know what I'm sayin'? Relax, madre, relax.

I've come to realize she's always been like this and it's undoubtedly had an affect on me, but believe, at least in this way, I'm adult enough not to place blame. I love and respect my mother profoundly, and this trait is not central to her being. But, still, things rub off on you. I always thought my anxiety had been brought on by an existential malaise, but in hindsight, I think being in almost constant close proximity to my mother's demeanor had more to do with it.

To conclude, I had a great time with my folks. I sat between them at the show and cherished my time with them. Gordo played some songs that dealt with aging and mortality. It hit home. No one, not our friends, not our families, is a permanent structure in our lives. All is transient. I love my parents and if I don't leave this mortal coil before they do, it will be a hard thing to deal with.
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These days, I have an infinitesimal interest in watching sports. When I see people go ape shit over them, it's like I'm a visitor from another planet studying the habits of the locals. I guess, in a sense, I am from another planet when it comes to this, because a large majority of people in this, and other countries, have a passion for it and I can hardly muster anything more than a passing interest. Mind you, I'm not against anyone deriving pleasure from watching sports, it's just that for me it's not anywhere near a central concern in my life right now. Is that a sign that I'm evolving, or is it just that I've found other ways to waste my time? Hmm....
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Just finished wrapping up a new song. It ended up being an exercise in tension and release. It came out well, I think. I pushed the envelope a bit with this one and if felt liberating. Just sent it off to a couple of peeps.

Speaking of which, I've decided to be even more selective with who I share music with. I had spoken with Foley about the lack of interest and he made an interesting point. In his experience, he said, people will give more attention to a "finished product", meaning something constructed like an album, a complete package. When they get things fed piecemeal, they treat it less seriously, like a rough demo that is barely worth their attention. "It's only usually the musicians, the ones who take music seriously, that will give these songs their due."

I saw his point, though I think there's more to it than that. I've been conflicted. Writing and performing music is a central part of who I am and it's something I'd like to share with the people in my life. When I finally started sending songs out, I was eager to hear what some of them thought. As it turned out, most didn't even acknowledge the receipt of the songs, and some of the ones that did seemed a little put out, like I had assigned them another chore in their lives.

While there are times I'd really like to share my stuff with a broader group of people, I've learned it would be an exercise in futility. I'm not pissed or even miffed. I'm not even disappointed anymore. I'll be making music regardless of who listens. I've been sending stuff to Scott and that will be it. If anyone expresses interest, I will gladly send them as many songs as they'd like, but I'm also not about wasting anyone's time.

Speaking of music, I just dusted off the mandolin and twelve string acoustic. Time to incorporate them. Peace.