Saw Mara last night. It had been a while. Not a terribly festive evening. She's been in the grips of depression for a while now and, apart from listening to her and trying to cheer her up, there is nothing else I can do for her. She's been through this before; she's gone to therapy, taken meds. I can relate to her condition only so far. I've had my spells, my dark nights of the soul, but nothing that's stuck around and taken full control of my life. Hell, even during my worst days, I've always retained an appetite. Mara could barely eat last night and has had trouble sleeping. This has been going on for over a month. I wish her well.
I'm pretty tired. Went to the dentist after work followed by a vigorous run. It's been so damn muggy the last couple of days; the run was taxing at times and positively sweat-inducing. Worth it, though.
Listening to The Roches constantly. Makes me happy, it does. Such a fun record, that first one, and a joy to sing along to. And, oddly enough, Robert Fripp produced and played guitar on it. Guess it's only odd if you know who Robert Fripp is. If you're curious, Google him. I ain't got time for a biography, son!
Over the last couple of days, it hasn't felt right being alone. For example, I'll be getting ready for bed and it will feel strange that I'm getting in bed alone, as if it's a new thing. Strange. Maybe I'm on the verge of a relationship. If so, well, that would sure be swell! It's about time. I'm sick of being a perpetual solo act. Come on, ladies, give this fellow a chance. He's not too repulsive and he'll sing you a song.
Watched a bit of True Blood last night. Had no idea what was going on because I jumped right into the middle of the series. I don't usually do that, but I wanted to get a feel for the show to see if it was worth diving into. Seemed kind of cool, but kind of melodramatic. A lot of yelling and posturing. One vampire, named The King, took another vampire and his girlfriend (?) hostage. He let another vampire, who seemed to have a history with the kidnapped vampire, torture him. The girlfriend hung out with the King, who tried to get her to tell him about her powers. And then there was another vampire who seemed like a bad guy with a heart a gold. Like Sawyer in Lost. Oh, I don't know - I was so confused. Maybe I'll Netflix season one and see where it takes me.
Early night for me. Going to watch a mini documentary about a guy in Australia's experience with a Yowie, their equivalent of Bigfoot. Already watched part one. Very interesting. This guy seems very credible. Ok, nowI'm out.
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4 comments:
Glad your back!
I dated a guy once who could sing... he wasn't too nice and he wasn't much to look at either but he could sing...which kept me hooked for months! You shouldn't have a problem finding a nice lady!
True Blood being melodramatic is an understatement. LOL Don't get me wrong I love the series but yeah... it makes me laugh. :)
Alright Kevin, now I have sat back and I have held my tongue and not said anything but maybe I should just say it, so here goes nothing: You Kevin, are not repulsive!! So stop saying it about yourself!! I don't know who specifically said it, but there is a quote that I like and too often forget when I am in the midst of my worst. And so, I offer it to you: Don't put yourself down because there are enough (I would say too many) people to do it for you.
For some reason I feel like sharing this maybe because I think that it helps people to know that other people are going through the same things. I don't think that I necessarily have real serious depression but I have to admit that I know what Mara is going through where she doesn't want to eat. However, I don't know how long this feeling lasts for her, because for me it is very brief. Typically, I've only experienced a diminished appetite in the immediate aftermath of an upsetting conversation or event. However, my desire for food usually returns very soon after. I love food too much to turn away from it for very long! But, my heart goes out to Mara and others like her that really struggle with depression because I know that it can be very challenging to cope with it and not let it control your life.
@Leigh: Thanks for the support. Maybe I should announce that I'm a singer/songwriter right out of the gate when I meet women. Might intrigue them. Hmmm.....
As far as True Blood goes, I think I'll probably love it or hate it. Not sure there will be much gray area.
@ Kate: The problem isn't that I think I'm repulsive, it's the women who do ;). No, usually it's just been frustrating more than anything when it comes to women. I'm comfortable around them, I can usually make them laugh, I'm no Johnny Depp but I'm not ugly (at least that's what I tell myself). But over the course of my adult life, I've been rejected far more often than not. I've never been able to put my finger on it. Was it timing? Asking out the wrong people? Do I have B.O.? Ah, who knows. With all that, I still adore women and would like to be with one someday. Stay tuned!
It's tough seeing someone suffer depression. Whatever depression I've ever had is nothing compared to what I've seen people go through. There's a distinction between having things to be depressed about and depression. At my worst, it's always been the former.
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