Back in the saddle again

I'm back. Did you miss me? I didn't think so. Anyway, if you'll allow the comparison, I was Jesus and my computer was Lazarus with respect to how I got it functioning again. I won't go into how I did it, except to say it wasn't due to my expertise. More, it was trial and error.

My computer was really fucked up. At one point I couldn't even get into safe mode. Through a bizarre chain of events, I couldn't get in touch with Mike, who usually helps me with computer related stuff, so I was left to my own devices. Needless to say, I wasn't optimistic my computer would be functioning in the near future, if at all. But I'm back, so lets venture onward, shall we.

Leading up to my computer being hijacked, things weren't going so well. Losing the computer felt like a cruel joke and throughout the course of the following week, I felt like I had fallen into a dark abyss. Actually, it wasn't as dramatic as that, but I was out of touch, and not just because I lacked Internet access (which, for the record, I did have, if minimally, thanks to Janelle, who let me use her Mac when she wasn't home).

Not having the Internet sucked. I experienced withdrawal symptoms, which was odd because I don't use the Internet that much. But, when you don't have it, you miss it. Even though I'd spent most of my life without the Internet, I felt like I was lacking something substantial. And, in a way I was. We depend on the Internet for a lot these days.

I ended up watching more TV, which made me miss the Internet even more. I haven't watched TV on a regular basis for years now. I barely ever turn it on. I was reminded why over the course of the last week.

I'd turn the TV on while eating breakfast and by the time I would finish eating, I'd feel depressed. My mistake was to put the "news" on. Oh, dear. What a horror show. "Seven toddlers were found stabbed to death in their Newton home last night." " A mother of four was stabbed in the face repeatedly and then crucified on a makeshift cross outside the Walmart in Lynn last night. Her attacker is still on the loose and will most likely find his way into your home and do even worse things to you and everyone you care about." "This just in: You will never ever be safe as long as you walk this Earth. Most likely you will die a horrible, bloody death after experiencing years of hardship and toil. And don't forget you heard it here first."

And then there were the phonies on the talk shows. I felt like committing Seppuku. The other thing that irked me was the staggering amount of commercials. I can't tell you how many times I'd turn the tube on just to have something on in the background while I put my laundry away or something similar only to find every other station was showing commercials. Here's how it went:

1. Oh, cool, The Office is on.

2. Ten seconds into it, they break for commercial.

3. I stop what I'm doing and channel surf.

4. Oh, Scrubs is on. Oh, wait, they've gone to commercial, too.

5. Surf some more.

6. MASH is on. Shit, it's one of the later ones. Oh, well, better than commercials.

7. MASH immediately breaks for commercials.

8. They're showing Twister on TBS. I think that movie has been on every week on one channel or another for the last several years. Nope, I think I'll see if The Office is back from break.

9. Cool, it's back! Oh, wait, it's the end of the episode. They just showed three or four minutes worth of commercials when there was only about forty seconds of show left. Fuck.

10. TV off. Should have just thrown a DVD in.

If I had Tivo, I wouldn't have had those issues, but I'm not going down the Tivo road just yet. So, yes, I'm glad I've got my Internet back. Now I can watch Dexter, and all sorts of other good stuff commercial free. And by other good stuff, I mean porn.

Ciao.