There's a shadow in the basement, and I'm scared to sleep alone

I was listening to a lecture given by David Ray Griffin the other night when I heard someone knocking on my door. "Come in", I said, only to be met with another round of knocking. I got up and turned down the volume of the lecture and again, only louder this time, said come in. This time I was met with silence.

I quickly deduced that it was Rich who knocked and that his reason for doing so had to do with David Ray speaking too loud for his comfort. Of course, I didn't know for sure because if the knocker stated his, or her, business, I certainly didn't hear it. I turned down the volume anyway, to be safe. It was fairly low to begin with, but it was late at night and sounds magnify when it's quiet.

I got back in bed and, all of a sudden, David Ray stopped speaking. Silence.I got up and saw that the Internet connection had been severed. The timing was too perfect for this to be a coincidence: Rich had turned off the router, which is in his room, and brought about, through an act of sabotage, the silence he desired. Occasionally, the Internet drops out, but I've never had it happen to me late at night. Cui bono? Who benefits from this occurance? Motherfucking Rich does, that's who!

Maybe it's just me, but I don't like it when someone with no authority over me attempts to control my actions. I was absolutely willing to comply with a request to turn down the volume of the lecture -- I did, in fact, do so -- and, if anything, I felt bad that I kept Rich awake (obviously, at this point I'd made the determination that he was the guilty party). Not only was I pissed that he shut off the router, I was pissed that he only gave me a minute to comply with his request before he did so. If he was my father and I was twelve, I'd be more receptive to him doing something like that, even though it would still be a shitty, passive/aggressive thing to do. But, at least then it would make more sense.

Well, I may as well go brush my teeth and get ready for bed, I thought, as the anger swelled. I walked over to my closet and put a shirt on. As I did so, I made absolutely no effort to step quietly.

I was halfway down the stairs when Rich poked his around the corner at the bottom of the stairs and shouted, "KNOCK THAT SHIT OFF!!!". My ire already up, I bellowed "What the fuck is your problem?" in response.

Like he usually does in similar situations, he retreated to his room. I was angry enough to kick in his door and punch him in the jaw. I was sick of being a victim of his passive/aggressive bullshit. The decision to let the matter go didn't come easily, but it came quickly. Not worth it, in the end, I thought. There were better ways to resolve the issue. I did, however, say "Next time you curse me out, at least do it to my face. And TURN THE INTERNET BACK ON!" outside his door before heading into the bathroom. And, you know what? Another coincidence! The Internet was back up when I returned to my room.

The refreshed Internet connection notwithstanding, I decided to give David Ray Griffin a rest. I got in bed and tried to cool down. Never would have thought I'd be getting into a heated situation after one in the morning on a week night, no less. I thought about Rich's anger issues. This wasn't the first time I've seen him act out in rage. I hoped it would be the last. We were going to have to have another talk, one that would probably have to be initiated by me.

In the morning, with only a few hours sleep, I saw a note for me Rich had left in the kitchen. In it, he apologized for yelling at me, explaining that the reason he did was because he thought I was stomping around upstairs because I was pissed that he asked me to turn the volume down. He pledged to cool his jets in the future and asked me to be more mindful about noise levels.

I appreciated the note. Now, I wouldn't be at work stewing over the incident and it's potential consequences. He was initiating a peaceful resolution. There was that. At work, when I did reflect on the previous night, I did so with a light heart. The whole thing, with the benefit of hindsight, seemed slightly comical to me. Janelle, if she was awoken by the ruckus, must have wondered what the hell was going on.

Later that night, Rich and I attempted to settle the matter. I had decided earlier in the day not to accuse him, at least not overtly, of turning off the Internet. He would deny doing it anyway. Which was why I elected to go the subtle route. In one fell swoop, I'd call him out about the Internet, which I needed to do, and guide the conversation towards a satisfactory resolution. Here's how it went downt:

Rich: I didn't mean to yell at you, but you seemed pissed that I asked you to turn the volume down and you were stomping around. I thought you were just trying to get me angry.

Me: I was pissed, but only because I thought you turned off the Internet (you should have seen the look on his face when I said this. His expression replied, "Oh, but I did turn off the Internet, but I'm not going to say as much because it would strengthen the argument that I exhibit passive/aggressive tendencies"). I didn't hear you ask me to turn the volume down -- I heard nothing, in fact -- but I figured that was the reason for the knocking, and then, right after I turned it down, the Internet was disabled.

Rich: I was already having trouble falling asleep because I was anxious about going back to work after having a week off, and I guess the stomping around just set me off.

me: I see where you're coming from. I mean, if you thought I was angry because you asked me to be a little more quiet, I'd be pissed too, if I was in your shoes. It was a reasonable request. But, of course, at the time, you didn't know my reason for being upset was because I thought you shut the Internet.

Rich: Right.

Me: And, you know, in that case, I'd have a right to be pissed off. I pay for my share of the Internet and wouldn't like it if someone dictated when I'd use it.

Rich: Uh, yeah, I hear what you're saying.

He never said he didn't disable the Internet, which is telling, but, at the end of the day, I don't really give a shit whether he did. What matters is the issue is resolved. We have to live together and, to do so successfully, we need to get a handle on any differences that come up. Hopefully, there won't be any for a while.

Amen.