There were bells on a hill but I never heard them ringing

It is Saturday, there is warmth and sun. Winter still has a certain psychological hold on me, i.e my mind is still on winter time and is not convinced spring has arrived. But days like today have a way of making one forget things brittle and barren. I'm almost thawed. Rick is downstairs installing a new ceiling fan fixture (Matt had inadvertently pulled the chain out of the last one. Seemed an easy fix, but there was more going on under the hood that necessitated a prolonged overhaul). I imagine it will look rather odd depending from the ceiling with it's gap-toothed grin of missing tiles. I've come to the conclusion, after well over a year of nothing being done about it, that the ceiling will remain as it is. The ceiling fan is being replaced, though.There is that.

We have an new roommate. Her name is Evangeline and we think she'll be a nice fit. When Fred and I interviewed her a couple of days of go, the chemistry felt natural, easy. She's moving here from Virginia and seems low key. She likes to read, sew, that type of thing. I'm ready for that type of thing.

The first person we interviewed, Rosana, had been my top choice up until she took herself out of the running. She had just returned from India learning the secrets of yoga and breath and spirit. For several weeks, she had toured with  Amma, the hugging saint. She's also a devotee of the avatar, Babaji. Basically, I was swooning in her presence. For days after she left, I fantasized about the spurt in spiritual growth living with someone like that could engender.

Without any real basis, I felt like her moving in was meant to be. All just expectation on my part and the thing about expectation is that it requires the participation of the provider of its fruits. Alas, Rosana found another place. She informed me the other day, but by that time we had met with other desirable candidates, Evangeline among them, and it didn't feel like much of a blow. I will confess, though, that there was a brief moment I felt I was being deprived of spiritual growth, like the Universe was saying, "Now you see it, now you don't, you little fuck! Ha ha ha!" But that was the ego feeling that way and the feeling dissolved before it could take hold.

Having Easter dinner at my mom's house -with Spira and Missy D tagging along - and then will meet up with the extended family at my grandmother's house. My mother and I had been at odds this week, but I think that's behind us. Hopefully. It's going to be strange not having my dad at the head of the table. I can't linger too long on thoughts about him because the hurt, the sense of loss, becomes unbearable. I don't think it will always be like this, but for the time being it's a tightrope act. I miss you so much, dad.

Rick is still at it. I'll be heading out soon, but I'd like to take a shower and eat dinner before I go. He will need me for a couple of things so I can't yet proceed with my plans. I wish Fred was around to handle this. The man has a knack for being absent when household matters need to be attended to. He's' riding a nice wave, that one.

I blazed through McMurtry's Anything For Billy (I'll get to that in another post) and have begun Saul Bellow's Humboldt's Gift, which so far I've found to be engaging and fabulously written. And there has been the concurrent reading of Wizard And Glass, part of my Dark Tower re-read. And there has also been music and wonderful roses...

They tell me in sweet fragrant meadows...

of dawn and dew.