You're as cold as ice, willing to sacrifice our love

I was having a smooth day yesterday until Jeff informed me I'd be going to Fitchburg today to do some recording. The way my car has been, i.e. old, I tried not to get apprehensive about the long drive. I was largely successful. I made the trip just fine - I'm back now, babysitting Missy the dog at Spira's - but my whiny, fearful, ego made a few appearances. I caught myself every time when I acted unconsciously and I didn't get upset with myself for losing control. Indeed, I applauded myself for catching the behavior. It's going to happen again, I'm sure, but the more I'm conscious of my thoughts and actions, the better off I'll be.

The ego has its uses. I'm appreciative when it alerts me to actual danger or when it reminds me I need to get some groceries else I'll be having a glass of water for supper that night. The ego has run amok, however. Our entire civilization is driven by it. The story of The Garden of Eden describes its hostile take over, our fall from grace. The ego served us well when we were apes drifting through the plains and valleys as both predator and prey. It has grown like a tumor and now almost every single one of us lives either in the past or present, two positionalities that do not exist. Full attention to the present seems easy to achieve, but most of us cannot give it even for a minute.

Just watched a great documentary about a guy who went way off the grid and moved to the outer reaches of northern Alaska called Heimo's Arctic Adventure, or something like that. It was fascinating. He and his wife raised two daughters in the middle of nowhere. A different way of life, to be sure. He even shot a bear during filming that kept creeping around their cabin. Big fucker, t'was!

Just watched a news report about the events that transpired at last night's Occupy Oakland's protest. A guy in a car hits two people and puts them in the hospital. As the paramedics are putting them on stretchers, cops are questioning the guy who hit them. Despite the fact that there were numerous witnesses and the incident was caught on film, the cops let the guy go. Didn't even ask the guy to get out of his car. Hmmm.....

I smell a rat. The cops have been having no trouble arresting protesters for even the slightest transgressions, but when a guy in a car attempts to murder a couple of protesters, he's let go. Either the guy was an agent provocateur and the cops let him go because the guy did exactly what his masters instructed him to do, which was probably along the lines of fucking shit up, or they let him go as a big fuck you to the protesters. I don't care what the victims did to incite the driver, there was no cause for attempted murder. Try telling that to Oakland's finest.

More change is on the way, more disruption. Scary, but thrilling and hopeful. What days we live in. Shit is going to get fucked up pretty bad, I predict, and sooner than later. We've been asleep too long and our owners won't give up power easily.

Who knows, maybe they will if we ask them nicely. I'll look into that.

People still don't have power after last week's snow storm. WTF? I feel for everyone without electricity. What a disruption. I know it was a widespread and intense storm, but why has it taken so long to restore power? Seems commonplace these days for people to have no power for days and days after a storm. We had plenty of big storms when I was growing up, but I don't remember this type of thing happening. Ah, but it's a different world, now, one that brutalizes us with super storms all year round. A Nor'Easter in October? You bet. Climate change is a bitch.

Okay, it's time for some cuddle time with Missy and then a walk a bit later. She is so pretty; I think I'm in love.