Shane's bachelor party last night. It took place in the backyard of his parent's house (his dad engineered the event) and it was festive all the way through. Shane was surprised, practically to the point of speechlessness, when he and Jenny arrived at the house to find a platoon of men congregated at the side. Skip, Shane's dad, started off the proceedings with a humorous, heartfelt, speech and then the party began.
I've got to tell you, the hookers working the event were top of the shelf: pretty, clean, seemingly well educated, attentive, and eager to please. All of us watched, including Skip, as two of the hired help went to town on Shane. After about an hour of that, Skip suggested we put some food in our bellies. He fired up the grill and before too long we were enjoying hot dogs and burgers.
It was a fine thing seeing Goozey there. Haven't seen him in, well, it's been years at this point. Some of us, before it got too dark, played frisbee, sipping on these incredible ginger drinks Scott prepared between turns. I am pleased to report that I haven't lost my frisbee mojo.
Another game we played looked to be a combination of horseshoes and skee ball, using bean bags instead of horseshoes. If it has an official name, and I'm sure it does, it is unknown to me. I teamed up with Brian and we handily beat Ray & Scott, until, a couple of games later, they got hot and beat us. Brian, who's one of the funniest people I've ever met, kept complaining about the bean count in the bags. He felt, and rightly so, one's game could get thrown off if some bags weighed more or less than others. His complaints fell on deaf ears, sadly.
After our stunning defeat, I ventured over to the shed to see if there were any hookers available. None were. I asked Craig and Skip, who were going ballistic on one of the women, if they thought they might be finishing up soon. Craig said they were almost done and told me to stick around. I wasn't too keen on the idea of being with this woman right after them, so I told them to take their time and that I'd be back later if I was still interested.
We had a nice jam session by the fire. Lots of guitars, a couple of djembe, and some excellent musicians made for a good time. So did the whiskey being passed around. I never, ever, drink hard stuff, but the last two weekends I did. Maybe I'm turning into a boozer. I'll keep you posted.
Craig and I left around midnight. I said goodbye to the prostitutes, wishing Roxy well with school ( she's studying to be a marine biologist). A great night with great friends. I'm looking forward to seeing everyone again at the wedding.
--
Yesterday I went to Fresh Pond for a run. Despite it's close proximity I'd never ventured there before. Janelle takes Pooch Edward Bottoms there fairly often and whenever she described the place to me, I'd say to myself "Kevin, you need to get over there and experience some Fresh Pond"
I had read online that one loop around the pond is 2.5 miles, more or less. I figured I'd go twice around and call it a day. When I got there, I immediately saw the appeal - beautiful scenery, well-tended paths, and plenty of dogs romping about. I ran a full loop and was more fatigued than I figured I would be. I questioned whether I should go another loop. Determined, I decided to go not one, but two more times around, only the next loop would be a rotation of sprinting and walking, and the final loop would be brisk walking only. Good plan, I thought, and went ahead bringing it to fruition.
In the end, I went between 7 and 8 miles. I was tired at the end, but felt good overall. It's a good place to run. Reading reviews of the place on Yelp, the common complaint was that there were too many dogs off-leash that got in the way. I didn't have any problems with the dogs. Compared to the asshole cyclists I have to contend with on the bike path, they were absolute joys.
At one point I wanted to say something to a woman who was hogging the water bubbler on the side of the path. She was with her dog and was obviously not exercising, per se. I say obviously because she was wearing jeans, heels, and a long sleeved shirt, and wasn't displaying a drop of sweat. Yet she drank deeply from the bubbler, as another woman stood by, sweating profusely and breathing heavily. I was approaching the scene and had the suspicion that the bubbler hog was just trying to be a bitch. She knew the other woman, who needed the water way more than she did, was waiting, yet she tarried way too long. That incident notwithstanding, I enjoyed myself thoroughly and plan on returning there soon.
Okay, I'm off. Today is a day of rest. I will watch a movie or two. I've got Last Year At Marienbad, Gran Torino, and Le Circle Rouge on the list. I'll also attempt to work on some music, read, and maybe take a nap. We shall see.
Oh, one more thing. Everything I wrote about the bachelor party was true, except for the frisbee. We never played. Alright, I'm kidding: we did play frisbee, but there were no prostitutes or strippers. Not a single woman in attendance. Feel better now?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
12 comments:
Yes I at least I THINK I feel better now especially since I was beginning to lose all respect for all of you guys and perhaps contact the NH Vice squad. Of course you are always so sarcastic that sometimes I don't know what to believe, Kevin?
I have always had a bad feeling about bachelor parties I mean if a guy is not ready to get married why propose? Shouldn't they have gotten this stuff out of their system BEFORE they put the ring on her finger? Also, I believe that promising to marry someone is just as huge as actually marrying them so couldn't a lap dance be construed as cheating? As you can see I have some definite opinions about this topic.
And believe me, I am one step ahead of those who will give me the: "But women have bachelorette parties and they have MALE strippers at their parties..." However, to women male strippers are mostly a big joke and it is more about fun than it is about hoping to score with one of the strippers. Also, I think that women believe that most male strippers are probably gay anyway so the hope of scoring is pretty much a moot point. Not to mention the fact that women don't have quite the same double standard that men have about female strippers. Women don't think that they are better than the men who take their clothes off for money or refer to them with nasty slang words. If there is nothing wrong with what they do then why the pet names, huh? There I have said my piece.
Oops I lied, there is one more thing: Why do men want to be frustrated at a strip club any way? I mean all of that look and no touch? Isn't that just an exercise in frustration?
Kate,
I AGREE COMPLETELY WITH EVERY WORD!!!!! I want to add one thing... not sure if you guys have a Hooters around there or not but I refuse to go to a Hooters. I even had girl friends try to talk me into going (which I gave in and went once), the last thing I care to do while I am trying to eat is see some girls cellulite on her ass... My friends husband was telling me I was insecure because I wouldn't go to one of those places, and that the girls wear shorts and tanks and there is nothing wrong with that... This was coming from the guy that bitched about his wifes wardrobe being too sexy. Men have a massive double standard and MARRIED MEN are worse... but I believe Southern married men are by far the worst with the double standard.
Kevin,
SO relieved!!!! I was about to give you "the talk"!
"You do realize bleach and a Brillow pad cant get rid of some stuff, you don't want to get anything you cant wash off, now do ya?"
"the doctor may be able to cure it but little can be done once you have caught a bad reputation"
-Mom
:P
Well, Kate, I'd like to think I'm not always sarcastic, but maybe you were being sarcastic when you wrote that.
As far as bachelor parties go, I agree with much of what you say, assuming you were speaking in the general sense. I've only been to one bachelor party that had strippers and it wasn't appealing to me beyond laughing at some of my friends watching the women do their thing with bulging eyes and wallets open.
I believe there are three variations of the bachelor party.
1. a bunch of guys, or guys with their female friends, getting together at a bar, someone's house, etc., with no strippers.
2. A bunch of guys getting together with strippers present, but nothing untoward happens. The whole thing is more tongue in cheek than sexual.
3. A bunch of guys getting together with strippers present and taking full advantage of the services the strippers are offering.
The latter scenario speaks to the one you complained about, Kate, and I have a feeling it may not be as common as you think, but I say that with no true authority.
Essentially, I believe, bachelor parties, like bachelorette parties, are just a big send off. It's not so much a statement of "Dude, this is your last chance at some tail before you get married", but one of "Things are going to be different from now on. Your life as a bachelor is over." Again, I'm saying that's what it's essentially about. I'm not under the illusion that there aren't men using the occasion to get laid, because many, many, men most certainly are. And those, like you said, are the ones who shouldn't be getting married in the first place.
Now, I'm not of the belief that a lap dance equals cheating, especially at a bachelor party. Often, the bachelor is reluctant to have a lap dance and has to be coerced. That is not cheating in my book. Now, if he has one after the first one, and then another and then another, and then goes out back with his "dancer", well then you're looking at something else.
Personally, I have zero interest in strip clubs. I've been to a couple up in Montreal, but it was done more for laughs. To me, it's like going to a restaurant and paying money just to look at the food. Can't touch it, can't eat it, you can only look. How is that satisfying? An exercise in frustration is correct.
I knew someone who worked at a strip club and she told me that she felt it was more demeaning for the men, that it was the women who had the upper hand. Makes sense - who's walking out of that club with a fat wallet? Not the men.
I agree, Kate, that generally speaking, women treat strippers differently than men . However, I think you're projecting a far too wholesome image of what women do, or as the case may be, don't do, at these clubs. There are videos out there (so I'm told ;) )showing women, young and old, having A LOT of fun with their strippers at bachelorette parties. Women can be just as bad as men, but I do believe there are way more men who are like that than women.
Oh, we have Hooters up here, Leigh. Never been to one, and don't plan on going. It's too bad places like that exist. And, to extend this a little further, it bothers me that female celebrities can't appear in a magazine without having to take off most of their clothes. I'm not saying it's hard to look at, but it's unnecessary and demeaning. I know there are some women who refuse to partake, even if their career takes a hit, but for the most part, it seems most are in favor of it, or at least accept it as a necessary evil.Our culture still has some strides to make, to be sure.
I love women. I love the female form, to be sure, but I also love the intellect and the heart. Some of my closest friends are women and most of my male friends can say the same.
Leigh, that's some good advice from mom. Hopefully, I'll never have to heed it.
Thanks for the feedback, ladies.
Kevin,
I find it more frustrating to be around the women who encourage it than the men that lap it up like a bunch of blood thirsty hound dogs.
Hows that for a double standard!? LOL! Thats must be a southern thing "Boys will be Boys". Maybe thats why southern men are worst with the double standard, the ladies are always making excuses for them!? :)
I cant say that I believe that going to strip clubs is "cheating" BUT I will say that I believe it damages the sanctity of a relationship. Although, I have been told that I am terribly old school, I still believe that the body is something sacred (just like a relationship), not necessarily something to be hidden shamefully but to be revered and revealed in moments of passion.
(Sharing passionate moments with someone besides your partner isn't that cheating? Ok, so maybe I do view it as a form of cheating.)
Now, I'm not saying women should dress like shrewd's but I believe some things should be left to the imagination.
As far as half naked women filling the pages of magazines and tv sets...I think that it is hard on the real women. Most of these women have been airbrushed and put to photo shop (or at least thats what I tell myself). It is scary for me as a mother of a daughter, to think that the media is polluting her self image. I remember thinking in high school that I was sooo fat and this or that part of my body was too big or too small. I look back at those pictures from high school and I cant believe I EVER had any issues with my body! There are a lot of women that were not able to finally let go of those self image issues in those formative teen years. They have dieted themselves to death and/or had dangerous procedures to look like these women that the men they love lust after in the media.
Frankly, that bothers me.
Kevin, you always have a great way of striking up an interesting conversation! :)
Sorry for all the deleted messages. Blogger said my comment was too long and so I split it up and then blogger published the original anyways. O well. LOL
Not to be too nit-picky but technically I struck up the conversation with my comment on Kevin's post but perhaps Kevin DOES deserve ultimate credit because it is HIS post that we are commenting on. Anyway, there are a couple of points that I would like to make here and I hope that I can do it in a rather succinct fashion.
Kevin, you responded to both of our comments (Mine and Leigh's) but you artfully avoided my question. Now, perhaps it is such a preposterous one that you didn't think that you NEEDED to answer it but I found your writing style to be so convincing that I was left with a very mixed reaction to the post. After all, you mixed in the parts that I am assuming were there purely for shock value with things that probably did happen such as the Frisbee and the drinks that Scott made because he is famous for his concoctions! Perhaps it is fun for you to keep people guessing but it is not always fun to be the guesser. (But, to answer your question, I was being a tad bit sarcastic to imply that you are always sarcastic because you are also capable of being quite serious but I know full well how much you enjoy the sarcasm.)
Now to address this issue of women in magazines:
I have mixed feelings about the women in these magazines who appear as Kevin put it half dressed and the points that Leigh made about how they are airbrushed perfect so it gives young women unrealistic self images. I feel that on one hand if you are beautiful and young why not have fun with it and enjoy it? Also, for someone who grew up in an extremely conservative family with parents and other relatives constantly concerned with skirt length and necklines I have always thought that if I had ever become famous that I might be tempted to show a less conservative side of me as an affront to such widely accepted double standards. I have always been offended by this idea that idea that if women show too much they are sluts but if men enjoy it when women show too much they are just being guys. They way that I see it, the body IS a beautiful thing and there are ways to show it off without looking trashy. Plenty of women have appeared naked in magazines and other advertisements but they do it in a classy way. I don't necessarily believe that it is so much about what a person is wearing as much as it is HOW they are wearing it (or not wearing it as the case may be.) Whether you agree with their politics or not, look at the PETA's "I'd rather go naked than wear fur" campaign; the women who participate in that are nude but it is not exactly a Playboy spread.
Funny, Leigh, blogger did the same thing to me. I totally agree that the portrayal of women in movies and magazines is harder on the "real" women. It bothers me. All that airbrushing and most of them look like they haven't eaten in three months. What kind of standard is that?
You know what kills me? When I see a couple and the guy is a fat load and the woman, who looks good, is complaining that she needs to lose weight. What about him?!?
I was at one of the registries for work today and there were about five women working behind the counter. Not one was under thirty five, I'd guess, and not one would ever picked to pose for the cover of Cosmo, but I'll tell you - they were each of them pretty hot. They looked like real women and that's why they're hot. I hope that made sense.
Back to strippers. If a guy is going to strip clubs while he's in a relationship, there's something wrong. First of all, it's insulting to your mate. I used to work with some guys who went to strip clubs all the time. Not a single guy in the group. They said their wives/girlfriends knew and were fine with it. When I turned down their offer to go one night, they questioned whether I was gay, like that could be the only reason a guy wouldn't go stuff dollar bills down some chick's panties in some dark room filled with drooling idiots and Bon Jovi playing over the loud speakers.
Let me state for the record that on a daily basis I'm sexually attracted to at least two women. My only defense is to say I can't help it. I am not ashamed, though. Probably because I also happen to respect women and actually want to hear what they have to say. Strange, I know, but it's the case.
I feel lucky that most, if not all, of my male friends are respectful towards women. Makes things easier. With them, I don't have to worry about them saying "Hey, are you guys doing it?" whenever I hang out with one of my female friends.
Kate, not sure which question you're referring to, but I thought addressed them all. If it was artfully dodged, it was unintentional.
To your point about not being able to determine whether I'm being truthful or not in my writing, I try my best to clarify if it's not immediately apparent.In this case, of course, I didn't do so until the very end, when I explained that everything was true except for the bits about the "hired help". Just me having a little fun.
Kate,
Point taken and I should give credit where credit is due. ;) I understand the young and fun thing but its purely just my opinion, sometimes everything that feels good isn't always good. As far as the Peta ad, I think that the campaingn is based on "sex" appeal. Thats how it gains attention. If your body is Kloe Kardashian Verses Kim Kardashian and its for a good cause then its not considered sexual? That may be sending a far worse self image message than the stereotypically hot naked girls in the media.
We may actually have different opinions on this but I am definitely with you on the mixed feelings about what is acceptable. It seems as though there is a thin line and one that is very easily crossed on both parties.
Kevin,
I am a sarcastic sort myself. I may have been way off my mark when I just assume that I know you well enough to know/or think that you are joking around about some of the things you post. I was completely sarcastic with my first opening comment. Surly if you got a hooker you wouldn't want to mess up your image by confessing to it via internet! As far as if there were strippers there... Ignorance is bliss and I don't wanna know.
As far as you being gay... Don't you just love it when your "Friends" who have known you for years try to pressure you based on their own insecurities? Got to love friends. We all know you aren't gay.
No reason to excuse your daily attractions. Its human nature to be attracted to people or have sexual thoughts. I read something once about men thinking about sex over 100x's a day. I was surprised but then I became aware of my own thoughts (little things not necessarily about act of but definitely of sexual nature)... and after confirming it with some girl talk among friends... I'm pretty sure thats normal for both male and female.
I have enjoyed reading your opinions(Kevin and Kate).
Post a Comment