Well life is short so we don't even try to bother waving as we pass you by

I came home from work later that day and, sure enough, Bob " You're all my bitches" TV was still wandering about the house, his belongings spread about in disarray. I washed my hands in the kitchen and asked Kreg if he was able to move his stuff into his room yet. He told me he hadn't been able to and that it needed some serious cleaning. That was an understatement, given the fact that a lowly wretch pack rat with absolutely no interest in hygiene had occupied the room for three years. As I stated in an earlier post, the room needed to be quarantined for at least a few days before another soul could safely step into it. I worried that Kreg would contract some strange and incurable disease from moving into the room too early and that it would be my fault. If only we had a haz-mat suit in the house. If only.

I was miles away from being pleased when I heard that Bob TV had made little or no progress in getting his stuff packed and out of our dwelling. I asked Kreg if he had told Bob TV to hurry up and get out of the room. He said aside from comments here and there, he hadn't said anything to him. However, he was getting fed up and decided he would tell Bob TV to be out of the room by eight o' clock. Bob TV entered the room a minute or two later and Kreg was granted the opportunity to share his feelings with him.

"How much longer do you think you're going to be up there, Bob?" he asked.

"Well, it shouldn't be too much longer. I don't know, I guess we'll have to see."

"Okay, I'd like the room to be cleared out by eight. I think that's fair; you've had all day."

"Sure, man, but like I said, we'll have to see."

I couldn't keep quiet any longer. "You've got some fucking nerve, Bob! That room was supposed to have been empty this morning and here it is almost six o'clock and you're still occupying it. And when you at last empty the room out, Kreg's going to have to clean it. This is unacceptable."

"Uh, excuse me", Bob TV yelped. "I'm having a conversation with Kreg. Why don't you stay out of it, okay? This doesn't involve you!"

"It damn well involves me, you fucking prick! You don't get it, do you?"

"No, I don't".

"Of course you don't. You don't see how, because of your selfishness, you've made it virtually impossible for Kreg to move in. Do you think he has all the time in the world to wait for you? You had months to prepare for this move and you didn't do shit about it!"

"Look, man, I apologized to Kreg already. Do you want me to get on my hands and knees and beg his forgiveness?" As he asked the question, he did that very thing. It was a pathetic display.

"Bob, do you know your leg is bleeding?" Kreg arbitrarily asked the kneeling figure before him.

"Yeah, I know". Bob TV got up and said to me, "Anything else you want from me? You know, you keep nagging me and it's getting old. You're like a broken record, man. I'm sick of it. I'm just sick of it!"

"I'm sick of your shit being in my house. I'm sick of seeing you drag your ass, as if you have all the time in the world to get you shit out of here. And if what I'm telling you is getting old, well given the situation, I think it bears repeating."

"Oh my God, you won't stop. I don't see how all this is a big deal. You're making this into something way bigger than it needs to be. Do you want to hit me? Will that make you feel better?" Bob spread his arms wide and walked over to me.

I didn't want to hit him, though if anyone needs a broken jaw, it's Bob fucking TV. "Cut the theatrics, Bob, and just go back to packing."

Bob TV left the room and I remained in the kitchen, flabbergasted, with Kreg. I was really fed up. This drama was extending far past the point I thought it would. I had really hoped that some part of Bob TV would realize that he needed, out of courtesy, at the very least, to put some urgency into his movements. But, knowing Bob TV, I wasn't terribly surprised that he didn't.

I tried to put a good spin on the situation. Even though Bob TV was still lingering in the house, he would soon (we hoped) be gone. And once he was but a memory, Rich, Kreg, and I would be living peacefully together. In the meantime, though, there was Bob fucking TV to contend with.

I went upstairs and packed a bag for the Cape. I was happy to be leaving. I needed to get away for a night, to cleanse myself of the taint of Bob TV. As I packed, Bob TV entered my room and asked me if I wanted some dvd's that he was holding. I told him sure, and thanked him.

When my bag was packed I closed my door behind me and walked into Bob's room. "Alright, Bob, this is it. I probably won't see you again, so I want to say good bye as friends and put aside our differences. " I went over to him and gave him a hug. Despite being pissed at his thoughtlessness surrounding the move, I didn't hate the guy. At least not yet.

Bob embraced me and teared up a little. "Man, I didn't know you were leaving now. Ok, well I guess this is goodbye. Take care, man".

I went downstairs, grabbed my keys, and headed to the Cape. I felt good: Bob TV and I didn't end our relationship on a sour note and when I returned the next day, Kreg would be all moved in and we'd be ready to embark on the next, more appealing, phase of the apartment.

The contentment would be short lived.