I've been caught in a mind riot (the last installment of the seemingly endless saga of Bob Tv and his shitty behavior during his move)

So did Bob TV remove his things from my porch that day? If he did, I wouldn't be writing another installment in this saga. No, Bob"If lying is bad, I don't want to be good" TV left his stuff on our porch all day Monday.

I was furious; not so much because there were tons of boxes on my porch--however annoying, that in itself wasn't a big deal-- but because that con-artist shit bag was playing us for fools. Over the course of three days, he had willfully disregarded our requests and demands more than a handful of times. He did this because he knew he could get away with it.

And he was right.

Even though I had gotten in his face--shouted and pointed and frothed--it turned out my bark was worse than its bite. As for Rich and Kreg: well, Rich had taken himself out of the ring days prior, opting to let things resolve on their own, and Kreg, though he was growing more irritated by the day, remained, for the most part, silent on the issue. Consequently, I was the only dog nipping at Bob's leg. Rich and Kreg were still on speaking terms with Bob TV, cordial even, and I think that was a key reason why Bob felt no urgency to leave. I don't mean this to sound critical of Kreg and Rich--they reacted to the situation in their own way--but more to illustrate how we were complicit in varying degrees in Bob overstaying his welcome.

Another way Bob TV was able to buy some time was another result of his procrastiation. He had neglected to take his name off the bills and since it was Labor Day weekend, he informed us, or Kreg, rather---the wretch and I were no longer speaking--that he needed to do it on Tuesday, and failing that, he would have everything shut off. The implication was that if we, or more accurately, I continued to harrass him about moving, he would be forced to have everything shut off. If it was anyone else but Bob, I would have thought otherwise, but it was Bob "The Lowest Parasitic Mother Fucker on God's Green Earth" and I wasn't about to believe a damn thing that came out of his selfish, lying, mouth.

Kreg had talked with Bob TV a little later that day and was told that when he got back from shipping out some packages, he would remove his stuff from our porch. Kreg was convinced that this time Bob would be true to his word.

"I hope you're right, Kreg, but I'll believe it when I see it."

"Yeah, I know, but something about his attitude this time makes me think he's really intending to do what he says."

Later on that night, Bob Tv was nowhere to be seen and his shit was still on our porch. I stepped outside and sat on the stairs, looking at the huge mound of crap. I thought about how Marie, our frail landlord, shook her head looking at all of Bob's stuff, like I was doing now. I had told her all of what was occurring and assured her that none of us were pleased with his behavior. She was worried about people coming up to the house and stealing the stuff. It was apparent that she didn't want to get involved but also wasn't happy to see this mess on her porch. And when Bob Tv came out of the house as we were talking, the sight of him pissed me off. I told him again to get his stuff off our porch by the end of the day.

Well, here it was, close to eleven at night, and nothing was done. If Bob had shown some sign that he was truly repentant, that he was really doing everything in his power to expedite his move, then I would have been much more tolerant---we all would have. But when I thought back to earlier in the night, when Rich and I were taking out the trash---most of it his-- and seeing him holding court on the third level porch next door, I wanted him out of my life more than ever. There were many ways in which he could have made matters better, but because he was born lacking the thoughtful gene, nothing towards that end was put into effect.

I went back inside feeling dejected. Because none of us were on a lease (we have a tenant at will agreement), we couldn't do much legally to extract that animal from our dwelling. I wondered if indeed I was making a huge, big deal out this, as Bob suggested more than once. I got the feeling that perhaps my roommates would have agreed with him more or less. I decided at the least, I would forget about matters, if only for the rest of the night.

When Bob TV had once again reneged on his promise, I wasn't surprised. Bob Tv was nowhere to be seen the next day. It was now the middle of the week and he was still haunting the place. Kreg, Rich, and I stood in the kitchen talking about it and at one point Kreg said "If Bob's not out of here by Friday, then I'm going to....." (sorry, but I forget what he said he was going to do. I think he was going to throw his stuff on the curb, or something.)

"Do you hear what you're saying?", I asked in disbelief. "When Friday hits, it'll be almost a full week since he was supposed to move out. You're willing, after all the shit he's pulled, to give him that much of a grace period?"

"I hope he's gone before that time, believe me I do. I guess we're just not as bothered by this stuff as much as you are."

"Frankly, I think you should be. You more than anyone. You were the most affected by his bullshit. I don't mean to tell you guys how to think, but I know that I feel small right now, like a puny runt. I've got my tail between my legs and Bob is doing precisely what he wants to. I don't care how you rationalize it, Bob is taking advantage of us and we're allowing him to. He's been told time after time to get his shit out of our house, but he still hasn't. "

"I see what you're saying", Kreg said. "I just don't know what to do."

"Look, I'm not mad at either of you. I'm sorry we have to go through this. I just know that the three of us are not the most confrontational people and consequently, we're ripe for being taken advantage of. "

The conversation ended soon after. Kreg was visibly frustrated about the whole situation and so was Rich. We all retired for the night not long after and the next morning was like Christmas.

Bob TV had removed his junk from our house!!

Finally.
--

I haven't seen Bob TV since that time, so I imagine he's left the state. For good, I hope. I would have had things end differently if I was scripting events. For all the trouble he caused, Bob TV, selfish, egocentric prick that he is, is not a villain out of some serial. He's a flawed person, as am I, as so many of us are. I know that he was emotionally unhinged throughout his move, which contributed to his ass-dragging. I was sympathetic then as I am now, in retrospect, but only to a point. There are aspects of Bob TV that are endearing, but he's also a dramatist who has the propensity of putting the con on people. Of that I'm sure.

I guess what I'm saying is I wish him well as long as he's far away from me. Who knows, maybe we'll reconcile someday years from now over a beer or two. Probably not, but you never know. Well, it only took me thirty two installments to tell this tale, and before I wrap it up, I should probably explain why I was so candid.

It may not seem so, but there's a lot I leave out in my posts. I try to respect my friends and family's privacy while at the same time including them in accounts of my life. There's a lot I could write about that would surely be more salacious and riveting than the fluff I publish, but I'm not a gossip columnist (though judging from my last several posts, you could easily make the case that I am). It's all about balance and knowing when not to share too little and when not to share too much. With Bob TV, I let it all out because:

--He's a fucking prick who trampled over me with reckless, gleeful abandon throughout the course of his move.

--I'll probably never see him again and neither will the few of you that have met him before. And I'm about 100% confident that he has no idea about this blog. So, this tale isn't exactly going national.

--I just flat out needed to vent. Fuck, I've got to get something out of writing this tripe.