I don't want to hold you and feel so helpless

This new way of being didn't fit with my model of who I was. It was as if I were living with somebody I didn't know very well. My models of myself hadn't changed fast enough to keep up with who I was becoming.

The above passage is from Ram Dass's Journey of Awakening: A Meditator's Guidebook and it articulates better than I've been able to what I've been experiencing. It's an interesting thing awakening to the fact that you're going through the motions with certain aspects of your life. For instance, I've discovered that I don't derive as much pleasure from watching movies or TV shows that are violent or ego driven (which seems to account for most of them). Or maybe it's just that my tastes are more refined these days. I don't know. Look, I'm pretty geared up to watch the new season of Game of Thrones, so who knows what the fuck is up with me.

Anyway
 
I visited with my mom after work yesterday. Mimi, like she always does, freaked out when I arrived at the house. Every time it's like I'm like the Beatles arriving from Liverpool.I've given up trying to greet my mother first. Mimi will not have it, so I get down on the floor with her and rub her belly. I love that little girl! So does my mom; Mimi has been good for her.

I've been watching Pound House on YouTube. The only way I can describe the show is by saying it's like watching a sitcom created by David Lynch and Charles Schultz. The character Brent is the best thing about it; he may be my favorite character of all time. He's so weird and supernatural. Anyway, each episode is only five minutes or so and they've made me laugh and laugh and laugh. I showed Spira the first couple of episodes and she was not nearly as enthusiastic. Understandable: this is a strange show and consequently an acquired taste.


Alright, kiddies, enough of my proselytizing, I'm going to Happy Trails this muhfucker.

Don't worry, I'll be back for more sexy adventures.