Dreadful sorry Clementine

Fear Mind can paralyze, we know it is so. We are governed by our thoughts almost all of the time, but we find it manageable because not all of them are unpleasant. Fear Mind, though, is a motherfucker. It is thick and seductive. We sludge around in its murky eddy of anger, despair, anxiety, and confusion as it heaves and expands. If we're reasonably well-adjusted, we get through it. But we are at it's mercy until we take steps towards sovereignty.

When I was a in my twenties and going through a shitty time, my friend Tony imparted some advice to me over the phone.

"Here's what you do: You clean your room top to bottom with care and attention. Just clean the fuck out of it. You've got to do something active, man."

I didn't take his advice, but I should have. Would have changed my state for the better. Fear Mind loathes Right Action, which is about engaging life, dancing with it. Want to change your state? Clean your room, go to the beach, make yourself a healthy meal, draw a picture. Get active! Or you can cope by eating two pizzas and a bowl of ice cream while watching Jersey Shore reruns or you can drench your troubles with booze. Good luck with that.

Anyway

I came home from work, ate a fine salad with beets and such, and then took a walk to Shaws. A beautiful day for it. The whole way I chanted Om Mani Padme Hum and tuned in to a higher frequency.

I conducted a Buddhist experiment at the store. Before I left for the walk, the thought came to me that I would see Nina, who I'll get to in a bit, at the store. Wouldn't that be meaningful?, I thought. And right on the heels of that thought came one that concerned the certainty that I wouldn't see her at all. Just ego shit, and I saw through it. I set an intention to not expect anything during my jaunt and not to get caught up in sticky distractions, like the ones that go like this:

Manshe'ssohotohlooktheyhavefalafelthatguyjustgavemeaweirdlookforsomereasonmanshe'sgotanunbelievableassIwishIhadsneakerslikethat

I didn't see Nina at the store, but I ran into, almost literally, her roommate. She's was swinging around into the aisle I was in as I coming out of it. We almost collided but my viper-quick, pure-hearted reflexes saved the day. I took note of the synchronicity and didn't dwell on its potential meaning. I felt light as a feather; no attachments, no distractions. I took note of what my senses broadcast and moved on.

I wasn't in the grip of fear mind today, but there were moments of real world "How am I going to get through this?" worry that put stains on the otherwise clear vessel of my day. So I took a walk with confident posture.

I did something active, man. Changed my state for the better. And I also bought some falafel mix, Greek yogurt, a cucumber, and some garlic. Making my own tzatziki, son!

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Look, this is going to have be part two-ed, I'm afraid. I'll come back, maybe even tomorrow, and fill you in about the beach and Nina and Easter and kriya yoga and my strengthening desires and Mad Men and much, much more.

Namaste