I'm ready for the house, such a modest mouse

So I went ahead and purchased Vampire Weekend's Modern Vampires of The City (iTunes: so convenient, so dangerous). After a few nights of listening to tracks from it, I determined there is certainly enough there to warrant a purchase. My final test was last night. I went to Grooveshark, selected the album, plopped on my new Audio Technica cans (name dropper!), and listened away in bed. I usually fall asleep listening to music in bed, particularly when it's late, but I ended up having to take the headphones because I was engaged and not sleepy. I went ahead and purchased the album this morning. I don't think I've plumbed its depths quite fully, so I'll take the cautious route and say that I like it.

The ride home from work was an hour and a half ordeal. The snow was coming down fast and furious (RIP, Paul Walker. You were a shining light that illuminated the entire world. Your films brought joy to millions and millions and millions of people. Sainthood is a given. Soar like an eagle through the landscapes of Heaven, you magnificent angel!) and driving was a slow affair. It wasn't so bad, but man, there were a few close calls.

I had some  low moments yesterday at work. They sprout up every so often and they hit like a typhoon (talk about fast and furious!). It's beyond frustrating to lose composure like that - some of the thoughts that trumpet in my ears....well, they aren't pretty -but I'm equipped to see them for what they are and I usually come out the other end wiser. For that, I'm grateful. I think that's what meditation has done for me; I'm able to see more clearly not only those dark spots, but how and why they manifest. I was watching a lecture from David Hawkins the other night and he spoke about why we get stuck. "You don't move on from certain things because there's still a pay off somewhere in the behavior. Once you get recognize what the pay off is, you can move on. I grasped what he meant.

Negativity had risen throughout the day, but I had the foresight to come down hard on it with this thought: "Here's the deal: Your commute home is not going to be pretty. You're going to need to be alert. And calm. If you want to stew and obsess over all the terrible aspects of your life, you can do so once you're safe at home." It worked. I snapped out of my malaise. It didn't return. Later at home, I received texts from Jeff and Marcy asking if I had made it home okay. That touched me. I've never had bosses who've done that. And then I watched an amazing documentary called The Animal Communicator.    It had a profound affect on me.

I've been listening to a lot of The Big Three podcast in my car and at home. I've been laughing an awful lot. Things aren't so bad. Sure, I've been having frustrating sexual dreams over the last several nights (The ones in which I'm about to have some kind of sexual interaction and invariably the act never happens due to distraction or some other wrench in the works. Last night's dream was actually pretty funny. I was about to receive oral favors and right as she lowered her head I woke up to the sound of someone shoveling outside my window. It was 3:45 in the morning. WTF!), but I realize they're my own creation and not the machinations of the Universe.

Alright, kittens, I'm tired and would be well served if I hit the hay early this evening. Sounds like a plan.