Sunday, April 15, 2012

I'm not the sort of person she admits she knows

Woke up with a hangover that, thankfully, was only a passing ship. By most people's standards I didn't have much to drink last night, but by mine, I had enough to warrant a buzz that almost breached the atmosphere into the abyss of drunkenness. There is a fine line and I've always managed to stride it successfully. It's a talent, what can I say.

Last night was Aaron's birthday party. In attendance was a merry assemblage of people; as far as I could tell, everyone had a good time and if there was an underlying current of disdain some felt for others, it was held in check and I was none the wiser. There was an abundance of Indian food that was so good the party would have been a success if that had been the only highlight.

Some of us played a game called Salad Bowl I'd never played before but learned quickly as it was very similar to Dick Clark's Pyramid game, which I used to watch frequently in my youth. My team operated with efficiency and tact and won the game easily and honorably. I think; it was around then my brain was starting to thicken with booze. We must have won, though; how could it be otherwise with God on our side?

Janelle and I left for home in the wee hours. She was a trooper and got us back safely, despite feeling a sleepiness that softly and assertively chipped away at her defenses. I tried to keep her awake by popping in my CD of lullaby's sung by gentle children that I bring with me everywhere I go and letting her drink from my mug of warm milk. Obviously, it helped because I'm still among the living and not toe-tagged in some morgue. Janelle crashed on my couch and was gone when I woke up. Good thing, too: I was going to chew her out for not bringing me breakfast in bed. I had dreams of poached eggs and lightly-buttered toast. Alas, it was to be cold gruel and stale crust I found in the neighbor's trash.

I meditated this morning for close to an hour. I needed it. Despite still feeling the warmth of good friends from last night, there was a layer of dread underneath it all. Meditating helped. Later, I went to the grocery store for some coffee and spent the rest of the day being a layabout. I watched some Breaking Bad, which gets better with each episode, read from the Bhagavad Gita, and debated whether to undertake the task of cleaning the house like I had planned heading into the weekend. No deal. I'll do it another time and won't tackle the whole place. I have roommates, they can do their share.
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I haven't worked on music in a while. Slightly disconcerting, but I'm not worried. I think I've needed to emphasize spiritual growth/inner work lately. I picked up a guitar yesterday and it felt good. I'll play more tonight and sing hymns to the stars.

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