Meet me in the morning

To Be Kind, the powerful and latest album by Swans thunders through my ribs as I write this. It's good energy to be around in the dead bowels of winter; keeps you alert like a cold shower or a stein of Red Bull. I'll tell you what: this album is all consuming; I'm finding it hard to concentrate. What else is new?

I have to work tomorrow; a lot of people have it off. MLK day. I'm not jealous or nothing, but it would be nice not having to get up early. I'll get by. Maybe I'll get some coffee and see Mary; last time was Wednesday. It's been interesting, our relationship, such as it is. This is how it's gone so far:

1. I'd been getting coffee from her for several years and it wasn't until a few months ago that I formally introduced myself to her and we started talking. Before that, it seemed like she was barely aware of me.

2. I found her attractive but thought she was probably too young (she's not; she's only a few years younger than me) and married (I'm sure she was, but I'm about 100% sure the relationship is kaput).

3. One day recently it occurred to me that she was interested in me as a person; she was inquiring more about my background and interests, etc. Our conversations became a little longer. And, then, maybe a week later, it occurred to me that I was thinking about her fairly often.

4. It seemed like things were escalating, albeit slowly. Maybe, and I don't know if this is the same thing, but maybe rather than things escalating, there was a growing mutual awareness that a connection had been made.

5. Last week, I went to get coffee and things seemed different, like a flame had been blown out. It wasn't palpable, it happened quietly within. Or did it? I'm still not sure.

6. I don't know if anything beyond a casual acquaintance will manifest between us. I do know that the experience reminded me how desirable being in a relationship still is to me. It's been too long; I want a partner.

There's a big Patriots playoff game on right now. Clearly, watching it is not a priority for me. Not that I'm not interested; I am, but there are other things to do.

G'night!