I've been thinking about this Saturday night with you, I've been thinking about it all week long

Where am I?

Here.

What time is it?

Now

Something I picked up from Ram Dass. I've been repeating it like a mantra today; it has been an effective way to navigate me away from worrisome thoughts, of which there have been a plethora this week, to the present.

I also ask myself this:

What do I have to be worried about right now, this instant?

Ninety nine percent of the time the answer is "Nothing". Things like worry reside in the future, not in the present. So I try to stay present. Sometimes I'm THERE and sometimes I'm there, if ya dig. What I'm trying to say is it's easy as a mother fuck to get distracted, something you know all too well if you're a human earthling. Now where was I?

That sure was a humorous way to end a paragraph, if you don't mind me saying. I got a pleasant little chuckle out of it. Actually, more than that: I'm ROTFL like a son of a bitch! I just brought the funny in a major way. See, I wrote about being distracted and then I followed up with "Now, where was I?" Three cheers for me!

Anyway

I have watched all eight episodes of True Detective. The ending was good; I would have preferred something a little different, but the show wasn't about the ending. Why do we put so much emphasis on the ending of a thing? Like Alan Watts once pointed out, but in a slightly different context, we don't put the same emphasis on the ending of a piece of music.

No, the show was not about the ending. It was wonderful in so many ways. I feel like watching it again; the show is so layered, it encourages multiple viewings. Amanda and I have been texting about it. She had finished the show last week and until today, she held back her thoughts and feelings. Like many fans, she's re-watched some of the episodes. I'm sure the next time we hang out, we'll delve deep.

I have a new favorite sasquatch researcher. His name is Steve O'Neill. He's a Naturalist and avid outdoorsman - he knows his stuff. It shows in the videos he makes. I love watching experts at work. Recently, after finding signs here and there, he got some pretty amazing footage from a trail cam. I love his videos.

I am wholly unsatisfied with a large chunk of my life as it is currently constituted, which isn't to suggest it's not comprised of positive aspects, because it most certainly is. It's just that for too long I've let fear prevent me from making significant positive changes in my life and I've reached the point where my position has become unbearable, untenable. It's sink or swim. I've been laggard in some areas of self improvement but I've been strengthening myself, too. The spiritual path isn't nearly as gentle as you might think, but it has gifted me with tools to help me get through this life. Meditation and yoga have helped; you know this because I seem to point it out all the time. Whatever. It bears repeating.

It doesn't have to be meditation or yoga. Doing something you love can do the trick. For example, I'm about to go listen to some music for a while. I may sing along, I may just listen. Whatever happens, I'm going to enjoy it.

Last night I watched a couple of web classes given by a lovely woman named Amy Torres that covered different parts of A Course In Miracles. She has such an authentic serenity, this Anita Torres. She began each class with a breathing meditation and from that warm receptive state, I had quite the experience. It was like being naked and peaceful in bed under soft blankets.

I'll watch another video tonight, I think.

Namaste