Someday there will be a cure for pain

I left for work today in a good mood. It was a sunny morning and I was looking forward to getting back to work. And, most importantly, I didn't have to worry about my car. New sticker (well, a rejected one, but that's only until I drive a hundred miles and they put the legit one on), which meant I wouldn't have to fold in on myself and weakly utter "Don't see me, don't see me, don't see me..." every time I passed a cop, and mechanical problems fixed. What could go wrong?

Something did go wrong when I got on the highway. In my rear-view mirror I noticed a lot of exhaust being emitted from the back. Could it be something benign, like a build up of moisture that caused this? I called my mechanic and explained the situation. He said he couldn't know for sure what it was until he had the car in front of him. Maybe it was moisture, he said.

I got off the phone with him and it seemed there was less exhaust coming out. Good. What wasn't so good was discovering my temperature gauge was through the roof. Not good, indeed. I was about halfway to work. I pulled off the highway. Once I slowed down, smoke billowed everywhere. I was immersed. Fuck!

I made it to a Mobil station, my dragon's breath arrival noticed by all. I called my mechanic again. "Not moisture, Mel. Something else."

As I tried to explain what was happening, a guy coming out of the store took a special interest in my plight. He looked under the car and asked me to pop my hood. I obliged. He poked around and determined it was probably my heating hose that was the culprit. Seemed he knew a bit about cars. It was tough having two people talking to me at once, but I was grateful for the assistance. "I say either you buy some antifreeze and try to make it to your garage, or you have the car towed. After some careful deliberation, I opted for the latter option. I was going to have to pay - my AAA only covered me for three miles - but I didn't want to white-knuckle my way back to the city, wondering if my engine was going to seize up on me, wondering how far I'd make it.

The tow truck arrived quickly. I had already called Marcy at work and explained what was happening. Another lost day of work. Once my car was hooked up to the tow truck, I hopped in the cab and we made our way to the city.

At the garage, my mechanic looked at the car right away and determined that it was indeed the heating hose that was the culprit. He, and another mechanic, showed me how corroded it was and where the leak was coming from. "Don't worry, we'll get this fixed for you."

"Yeah, but how much am I looking at here?"

"Don't worry about that. It won't be as much as the last time. We'll work everything out. You're a good customer and I want to treat you right."

I appreciated it, but wasn't thrilled I was about to have to shell out more money I don't have. I walked home, stopping at a new book store on Broadway on the way. I talked with the owner for about twenty minutes. I asked him if he needed any help. He said he might. I gave him my number and email address and walked home. We'll see.

Since last Friday, I've been concerned with my car. Today was no different. I'm hoping tomorrow proves to be less of a concern. I suspect it will. Look, shit happens, not everything in life is rosy, but I'm not going to allow myself to wallow in misery. I'm keeping as positive as I can, but I'm not la-la-la-ing through the meadows, either. I'm satisfied my attitude is a healthy one and I'm sticking with it. Who knows what's around the bend. Things happen for a reason. They do, though it's not always apparent when you're in the thick of things.

I meditated this morning and this afternoon. I'll do more later. I also practiced yoga. I'm as centered as I can be given my situation. I very well might be nosediving towards the lowest of the lows, but I'm not going down a fearful, weakened, wretch. Fuck that! The bottom is not for me. I'm aligning myself with higher vibrations, son, and I'm going to get through this.

So how was your day?