A dream within a dream

I woke up yesterday in an awful position. I was lying on my side and my neck was supported or, to be more accurate, bullied by three pillows. I'll let you conjure an image of what that looked like. As far as how it felt, well, let me explain.

I've woken up with a stiff neck before, but it usually returns to its hale self in a matter of hours. Not yesterday. No, before the day was through, I could barely move it any direction. I imagine the stress I was experiencing (financial, always financial) didn't help matters. I'd never in my life experienced that type of pain. It made me feel for the many who experience chronic neck and back pain.

After work, I called Spira to get details about her graduation. I discovered, much to my lament, that the ticket she had given me a week before, the one she told me not to lose, had gone awol. She told me she had an extra one, but I'd have to go to her place to get it. The prospect of going anywhere while in such pain was unappealing, but I had to do it. At least I got a massage out of the deal. Unfortunately, the pain didn't go away as a result.

My neck is better today, but it was tough going there for awhile. I was beginning to wonder if I was going to have to visit the doctor. Debbie, my coworker, told me she always gets concerned when her kids have stiff necks. When I asked her why, she told me a stiff neck is a symptom of meningitis. Oh, great!

Anyhow, as I said, I feel better, but I'm pretty tired. It took me an hour and a half to get to Salem for the graduation. It should have taken me a half hour from Andover, but the traffic was a cruel mistress. I ended up missing some of the ceremony, which was ok, because most of it was rather boring. I sat with Spira's boyfriend, Sean, and once she received her diploma, we went outside and got some fresh air. We met up with Janelle and it wasn't too long before all the graduates poured out of the building. I'm so proud of Spira for getting her Masters. She downplayed it, but it's quite the accomplishment. Seeing her in her cap and gown, smiling, made the long, arduous, drive worth it.
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Ok, I'm done here. I'm tired; didn't get much sleep last night. Mara stayed the night (no, I'm not tired because of that) and it was tough finding a position in bed that didn't hurt. I slept in spurts and woke up way too early because Steve, my neighbor, loves to make as much noise as possible when he gets in his car to go to work. One of these days, I'm going beat the shit out of him for all the sleep I've lost because of him. I'll have to ambush him if I expect to stand a chance. He's a pretty big guy. Oh, well, it wasn't so bad waking up early---I got to lounge around with my girl for a while longer.

It's the dirty story of a dirty man, and his clinging wife doesn't understand

Short post tonight because.......well, just because. I need to engage in passive, rather than active, pursuits tonight or my brain will liquefy and seep out of my ears. You'd think I had a particularly stressful day, but I didn't. I did have my first day at work, but it was rather uneventful. Hardly stressful. No, I've just got a bunch of little thorns stabbing my flesh and it's starting to sting a little bit. As far as things go, it could be worse.

It occurred to me on the way home from work today that it wasn't that long ago---only a few weeks--- when I was single and working at a different job. Kind of strange. It hit me when I was telling Mara about my day. Life is change and sometimes the changes are subtle and slow in manifesting, while other times they are as aggressive and immediate as a bottle smashed in your face. I believe the changes I've gone through recently fall somewhere in between. Kind of strange, but not necessarily unpleasant.

Ok, I've written too much and I feel my ears getting wet. Time to give the contents of my skull a little recreation time.

I'll show you around this alphabet town

Got the job at the law firm and I'll be starting tomorrow. Besides being good looking, affable, strikingly-intelligent, and the possessor of a pure heart---assets that win big in interviews---I think knowing Luke Warm didn't hurt my chances of securing the job. Bad news: I'll be taking a pay cut---at least initially---and I'll have a longer commute. Good news: I wasn't unemployed too long, the job will be twelve times better than Taylor Rental (I can tell already), and no matter what happens, I'll have something to put on my resume.
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Just got back from my parent's house a couple of hours ago. I enjoyed seeing everyone---we also visited my grandmother at her house later on---but I could have had as much fun lounging around in bed all day.
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Mara and I spent most of the weekend together. Last night we went out for sushi (I got her hooked on the Black Dragon, but couldn't sell her so much on the tuna tartar) and came back to the house to play Mastermind. I discovered early on in the game how competitive she is. On one move alone, she spent close to a half hour deciding what to do. That's right---a half hour. If it hadn't have been so humorous, I probably would thrown the board against the wall in frustration. But I didn't, and that's why she hasn't dumped me yet. I ended up winning the game. I think I'll have her call me Captain Victory.
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Missed the C's game last night and thank the Lord I did. They got schooled and then some by Lebron and Co. What a bunch of sissies! Haven't won a game on the road all playoffs. At least they're being consistent.

Look before you leap has never been the way we keep, our road is free

Has the worm finally turned for me in my dreams? Given the one I just woke up from, I say hell, yes! It was probably the most satisfying dream I've had in the last several years. I'm going to describe it to you and, of course, it's not going to sound anywhere near as good as it felt. But I'm going to do it anyway, if only because it still lingers fresh in my mind and I want to document this monumental achievement.

The dream began at a hotel right on the beach. I was there to visit one of my friends and his three sisters. There was a lot of activity going on in the hotel and on the beach and I got the sense that I may have been there to attend a wedding or a family reunion. Ultimately, though, my reasons for being there aren't exactly pertinent.

So, I arrive at the hotel and stop by the room where all the siblings are hanging out. I feel really good about being there, as I've always gotten along very with the family. It dawns on me that at one point or another in recent history, I've slept with each of the sisters. And it also dawns on me, happily so, that no complications had arisen as a result. No awkwardness here. We hung out and talked about the brother's upcoming wedding.

I had originally hoped that another woman was going to be staying at the hotel because I was certain I was going to hook up with her. When I found out she wasn't going to be coming, I was a little bummed out. But then, as I swiveled my head from sister to pretty sister, I quickly forgot about this woman.

As the dream progressed, I fooled around with each sister, often in front of each other. Very liberal family. The youngest sister represented the anonymous woman I've pined over in this blog. I wasn't any more into her, though, than the other two. No, I seemed to like them all equally, though the oldest I seemed to end up with the most.

The dream was long and all I pretty much did was go from sister to sister (what a slut!). In between hook-ups, I'd hang out with the brother and kick a soccer ball around on the beach. For obvious reasons, I didn't want the dream to end.

But end it did, as all dreams must. Right before I woke up, I was consoling the brother, who was crying over the gaudy wedding invitations his parents had given him. I told him he didn't have to use them if he didn't want to, that, after all, it was his wedding and not theirs. He then said something like "Now, I've stuck all manner of items up my ass and liked it, but I imagine I wouldn't enjoy shoving a cactus up there. I guarantee you, however, that I'd find the experience more pleasurable than dealing with my parents." My last thought before I woke up was, "Hmmm, I guess he is gay, after all. I wonder if his soon-to-be-wife knows".

The dream gets the gold medal for these reasons:

1. I had uncomplicated sex with multiple women, who I genuinely liked and was attracted to, throughout the dream. Usually, if I'm going to have any sex at all, it's mega-complicated and only ever happens at the end of the dream and I usually wake up before the good parts.

2. The dream was nice and long. Whenever I have long dreams, they're usually tedious to get through. This one was a pleasure.

3. The setting was at the beach. Typically, most of my dreams that occur at the beach aren't very good ones. They usually center around missed opportunities and death.

There were other factors that made the dream so great, but they're not so easily expressed. Ahh, I think I want to go back to sleep. Maybe the dream will turn out to be prophetic. I'll be keeping my eyes peeled for three sisters and a closeted brother.
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Funny I should have that dream when I'm currently in a relationship. Is it cheating, though, if it's only a dream? It just made me think about another one I had the other night. In it, Mara revealed to me that she had been reading my blog. I immediately panicked and then realized I hadn't written anything negative about her. Still, there was something that upset her, but I never got to find out what it was because I woke up.

I haven't told Mara about this blog and I'm wondering if and when I should. Part of me doesn't want her to read it because I'm not sure if it's an accurate reflection of who I am. Or maybe I am sure and that's why I'm not sure I want her to read it. Could be I don't want someone I'm seeing to have such documented access to my recent past. I mean, this blog is only slightly less personal than a diary one keeps hidden in their dresser, and I'm not sure how comfortable I am with someone I only recently met, yet am intimate with, having such unguarded access to me. Ah, but isn't better for the soul to be open and not concealed?Ultimately, it's no big deal whether she reads the blog, though I could see certain aspects of the it (e.g. my pathetic swooning over a woman whose identity is a mystery) giving her pause. Ah, it'll be alright. The past is the past. At the moment, I like where I am, firmly rooted in the present.
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Went to Salem last night to attend Spira's art exhibit. It was fun, but there weren't too many artists on display and, consequently, I ended up spending much of the two hours I was there hanging out on the patio by myself eating mozzarella sticks and meatballs. Fortunately, Spira's boyfriend Sean and Lukewarm showed up, so I had a couple of chaps to hang out with.
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I have an interview at a law firm tomorrow, courtesy of Luke Warm, who works there. It would be a great thing getting this job. A relief, to be sure. I feel confident the interview will go well. This could turn out to be the summer of Kevin. Cross your fingers.

Every night I tell myself, I am the cosmos

Had a good and eventful weekend, despite the shitty weather. I spent most of Saturday with Mara at the house where she was showing her photographs for Open Studios. Her friends Dave and Marcia were hosting her and Dave spent the day grilling various types of meat and feeding the guests. Really nice people, Dave and Marcia, but at a certain point, I had to tell them to stop feeding me else I'd throw up all over their nice furniture.

In the afternoon, I walked a few streets over to the church where Spira was showing her paintings. I wasn't there too long because I had to get back to the house and prepare for her party, which went well. Spira got tipsy, which is always fun to watch. She did an imitation of the Lollipop Guild song from the Wizard of Oz which was damn funny. Janelle made a pair of cakes that were equally tasty and aesthetically pleasing. My brownies, though tasty, were most certainly not aesthetically pleasing. Hey, I know my limitations; it's what makes me sexy and dangerous.

It was good having Mara there so she could meet some of my friends. There were no stabbings or screaming matches as a result of her presence, so I think things went pretty well. We had our first sleep over and, yada, yada, yada, we were pretty tired the next morning.

Yesterday, I went to the studio where Sarah was showing her paintings and it took me a long time to find her room because the building was so massive. I think I spent more time looking for her than I did hanging out with her. On my way back home, I stopped by the church to see how
Spira was making out. She was getting ready to go home, feeling too under the weather to stay any longer (turns out she was coming down with a cold and not just hung over from the night before).

Last night, Mara came over and we hung out in my room for a while. We had a nice talk about slowing things down a bit in our relationship. I had been wanting to address it for a couple of days and felt much better about things after our discussion. We'll see how things go, but so far I'm enjoying the way things are going.

Got to watch the Celtics blow out the Hawks yesterday and, though it should never have reached game 7, it was great watching them return to form. Now they have to face Lebron James and the Cavs. Don't know if King James can be stopped, but if anyone can do it, the C's can.

And I've been waiting for a year or a day, some strange weather must be blowing my way

I'm up earlier than I'd care to be, but I've soon got things to do and going back to sleep now would not be a good thing. Today is Somerville Open Studios and I'm slated to check out at least four different places. I'll probably spend the bulk of my time at Mara's and then branch out. I have no real sense of how long I'll be out and about. I do know that at some point I've got to come back to the apartment and get things ready for Spira's party.
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Luke Warm came over to watch the C's last night and, unfortunately, they lost(!) and will now have to face a confident Atlanta in a game seven. During the first half of the game, Rich's friend Murph joined us in the living room and proceeded to go talk non-stop for about a half hour straight. Luke Warm had more patience with him than I had. I wanted to listen to the professionals call the game and not some guy who gleaned all of his basketball knowledge from the local news.

Really, it was frustrating sitting through his jabbering. I played a game where I silently counted to ten when he wasn't talking. The idea was to make it to ten before he started yapping again, but it never worked. On average, he'd last about six seconds. I kept the game up for what seemed like forever, and then gave up in frustration. I like Murph, and I know he was only trying to be social, but I'm not always a big fan of situations where someone forces you to focus all of your attention on them all of the time. Yes Murph, I know Kevin Garnett is a good player; I'd heard that somewhere before. And yes, I know Doc Rivers is the coach.

During half time, I went into the kitchen to grab a drink. Rich came in and asked if Murph was bothering us. I told him he wasn't, but did comment that Murph was "on a roll tonight". I went back to the living room and Murph was still going. I figured out what he was doing; he was commenting on every image that appeared on the TV. If it was a commercial for Wendy's, he'd start riffing about how the company got started. If Kevin Garnett shot a nice basket, he'd riff about KG's technique. Now that I think about it, Murph is Cliff Claven. What d'you know.
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Ok, I've got to start getting ready. It's another gloomy, chilly day. I liked it better in March. I'm going to see how things go today, but there's been something that's been on my mind the last couple of days, most of it seemingly trivial, that I may want to workshop in this here blog. I hope I don't, because I'd like for some things in my life to be smooth and pure and uncomplicated. Is that too much to ask?

We got the wheels and petrol is cheap, only went there for a week

The Celtics won last night after inexplicably dropping the last two games to a team that had no business winning even one. What looked to be a four game sweep has turned into a tight series. The C's need to take it into overdrive in Atlanta tomorrow night and put these pests away. I think they have it in them, but what do I know? I was certain they were going to sweep.

I helped Mara with phase two of her move last night. Though it seemed like there wasn't a lot of stuff, we ended up with three car loads and didn't finish until twelve thirty. Four flights of stairs, my friends. Four flights at both places. By the end of the night, my legs were like soggy green beans. My car is packed with the last of her stuff. I'm about to head over to her place so we can unload it.

After the brief amount of time I spend with her today, we are going to take some mandatory time away from each other. At least until Saturday, when I'll see her at Open Studios (an annual event in Somerville where artists display their work all across the city) and then at Spira's party that night. Things will settle down to a slower pace after that, I think. As I've said before, we're both independent people and cherish our time alone. Have to make sure there's room for that.
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Watched Before the Devil Knows You're Dead the other night and it was a brilliant piece of film making. The acting was incredible and, even though I'm not big on the idea of awards, I think it's a travesty this film didn't even get a mention at the Oscars. Phillip Seymour Hoffman and Ethan Hawke delivered two of the best acting performances I've seen in quite a while. And Marissa Tomei (who somehow manages to get better looking the older she gets) and Albert Finney were magnificent in their supporting roles. Intense film about a botched robbery. Check it out if you have the time.
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The job search has been frustrating, but it always is. I just have to stay positive and proactive and not get too discouraged. I think I can manage it. I was thinking maybe I could start charging people to read this blog. A monthly subscription would be fifty smackers and a yearly one would be eighty smackers. Now, before you start complaining about how that's highway robbery and how the quality nowhere near reflects what I'd be charging, remember that I'm a nice guy and that you should want to help me out financially because of that. And you know what? I bet you don't like paying your bills, do you? You still pay them, though, because you have to. Well, you don't necessarily have to pay to read my blog yet (I'm in the process of figuring out how to make it illegal if you don't), but I know deep in my heart that you really, really, want to and that I've become so much a part of your lives via this blog that one day away from me would be worse than being waterboarded and then drawn and quartered. So, give me a little time to work out the whole payment thing, and soon enough we'll all be happy.