She's knows I'm going to be her boy forever

Just returned from visiting with mom and Mimi the dog (An effort has been afoot, spearheaded by my mother, to transition from Mimi to Mia; we'll see if it sticks). A nice visit but I'm glad to be home. I'm tired.  Today wasn't an ideal work day. Why? Well A) It was gloomy and cold B) It's Monday C) The Internet was down all day and my time was spent numbly filing old reports. And C) I got home from Spira's pretty late last night and was woken up well before my alarm by my neighbor, Steve's roaring car engine. Hence, as I said before, I'm tired.

Not an ideal day, but it wasn't so bad. Near the end of last week I found myself in the grip obsessive thoughts about something not necessarily real. I don't want to go into it, but my concern level, the fear attached to it all, was pretty high at one point. But through it all, there was the observer that witnessed it all and saw things clearly. I was grateful for that. Much of it was brought on, I'm convinced, by my engagement in Buddhist teachings. The spiritual path, as Trunga Rinpoche once called it, is one insult after another. The ego takes a beating, to be sure.

So for days I was in that fucked up cycle of thinking. It wasn't total - I was functioning in other areas and wasn't always focused on it - but if it had gone on much longer, I'm not sure what I would I have done. The last couple of days have been better and my take on the whole experience is that it was a wonderful lesson. Of course with hindsight I say that, but I believed it even when things felt really shitty. To know how the mind works, to tame it, one must study its habits.

Yesterday, I went to Spira's in the early afternoon while she was out visiting with a friend. I hung out with Missy D and had a few puffs. My plan was to do some recording on my iPad but another wave of obsessive thinking overtook me. I had enough presence of (sane) mind to nip it in the bud with some yoga. I don't care what's going on in your head, an hour of yoga will clear that shit up. When my session was through, I brought the iPad into the bedroom and felt compelled to read from Patanjali's yoga sutras. Missy D joined me on the bed. She laid her head on my chest and we stayed that way for a while.

When Spira returned, she convinced me that we should head over to Whole Foods for some hotdogs and French onion dip. I didn't try to talk her out of it. So, even though we didn't have the football game on, we ate like a lot of people who did. In fact, we watched something better: a documentary about Bronies, a subculture that has fascinated me for a while. Ask me anything about Bronies and I'm pretty sure I could give you an informed answer. So, it was a good day spent with two of my favorite ladies in the whole wide world.

I mixed down a few tracks from Garage Band. Those of you reading this who have received music from me in the past will most likely be receiving some. My method of sharing music is going underground again. At least for the time being. Pretty pleased with the songs. Having accompaniment has been cool. I'm able to stretch out more creatively.

Well, it's off with me. Might do some recoding, might, but most definitely will, meditate, and then definitely listen to or watch some Big Three, which, I kid you not, has been such a gift in my life. I laugh and laugh and laugh. How could that be wrong?

Bye, pups!