You'll never know how much I really love you, you'll never know how much I really care

Maybe it's the weather, but I'm not feeling very festive. Could be that I'm still sick; could be that my work doesn't fulfill me; that I'm lonely; that I'm..... Enough. Hardly in the spirit of Thanksgiving to carry on like that, but I don't give too much of a fuck. I'm not going to pretend my life is shaped differently than it is, but I will, because tomorrow is the holiday and because perspective can be an ally in this game of life, focus on what I have to be thankful for.



--As far as I know, I don't have cancer or Aids or Sars or Hepatitis. Not too shabby.



--I am in possession of all four of my limbs. No wood chipper has bested me yet.



--My Celtics PS2 team with Baron Davis at guard just won the championship.



--I woke up laughing this morning. First off, in a dream I was getting a massage from my Brazilian girlfriend, which you can't beat, and next thing you know, someone gives me a calendar. It was called "Apartment Boys" and my roommate Rich was featured prominently in it. What made me laugh was a pic of him laying seductively on a bear-skin rug. He was wearing a pair of worn out and not very tighty whities. For that matter, they weren't that "whitey" either, but I digress. He wore nothing else, save a glass of bourbon(?) in his hand. I found the image to be humorous, so I woke up laughing. I'm going to look for for that calendar in the mall next week. Maybe it's real.



--Werner Herzog's "Rescue Dawn" is out on DVD.



--The Celtics have a winning record and Kevin Garnett.



--I haven't been laid in a while, but I am masturbating more. I don't know if that's necessarily true--about the masturbating, I mean--but it felt like the right thing to say.



--I'm a big fan of sneezing and my two roommates are serious motherfuckers when it comes to that. As a bonus, Rich has an endearing cough, and the sound Craig makes when he clears his throat is something to behold. Music to my ears.



--Just found out there's going to be an "Extras" Christmas special.



--Yoga



--Trader Joe's sushi. The combo pack, portabella mushroom, wasabi shrimp, Cajun shrimp--- each so satisfying I could eat them all every day, twice a day for two years straight. I am not even joking.



--Naomi Wolf, Ron Paul, David Ray Griffin, Jim Marrs, Peter Dale Scott, Alex Jones,Naomi Klein, Cindy Sheehan, Webster Tarpley,Keith Obermann, Sibel Edmonds: embodiments of patriotism in it's truest sense.



--mint chocolate chip ice cream. The best of the best.



--I haven't been in prison.



--My parents. Over the years, especially my formative ones, we've had our differences, to put it mildly. However, there was always some sweet to go along with the sour, and nowadays it's mostly sweet. I genuinely get along with my parents these days and if I ever feel unloved, all I need to do is look to my parents to be proven otherwise.



--And I suppose I've got some good friends, too.



So things aren't so bad. I just wish they were better. Significantly better.