After taking a forced hiatus from running the past week and a half, I thought my return to the pavement last night was going to be rough going. Surprisingly, I had one of the better runs I've ever had. I think the fact that I had increased my yoga workouts during my time away from running made the difference. I am now more powerful than you can imagine. I can run faster, jump higher, sleep longer, and take a quicker shower than all of you. Do not fuck with me.
--
Last night, I made some progress with a new song I've been working on. I was able to sew two pieces I wasn't sure would go together into a nice little weave. Worked splendidly, I'm happy to report. Part of what I enjoy about writing is throwing arbitrary pieces together and having the outcome sound seamless and organic. That's the goal, at least. Now I just need to add some lyrics to the mix and I'll be on my way. And don't worry, this song is most assuredly about you. How could it be otherwise?
--
Bill owes me two hundred dollars and I don't think he means to pay me. When Kim started work about a month ago, Bill took to her like Miami Cubans took to little Elian Gonzalez. It was actually kind of endearing to see Bill, this disheveled, potty-mouthed 52 year old, act like a love-struck twelve yr old around her. I knew he meant business when he showed up one day with his hair combed back and wearing clean clothes.
"What are you doing here on your day off?", I asked him.
"Oh, nothing. I was in the area and figured I'd stop by."
I knew exactly why he had showed up, but I was having fun. "Wow, Bill, you look dashing! Your hair's all slicked back and it looks like you shaved. What's the occasion?"
Disregarding my question, Bill asked if Kim was working. I told him that, regrettably, Kim was not working.
"Aw, fuck, I shaved for her and everything", he exclaimed.
"Well", I responded with a barely suppressed smile, "I guess it doesn't matter anyway, considering you have a girlfriend and all."
"She's not really my girlfriend; she's more like a cell mate", he said.
Bill has been with his "cell mate" for over four years and I gently reminded him of that. He said he was going to go after Kim anyway. Having spoken to her about it already, I knew Kim wanted nothing to do with Bill romantically, whether he was in a relationship or a swinging single.
Over the next week, Bill flirted with Kim incessantly and to unintentional humorous effect. For some reason, Bill was of the belief that Kim had no idea he was in a relationship, even though he had repeatedly mentioned his girlfriend in front of Kim. When I mentioned her in front of Kim, Bill claimed I threw him under the bus and reduced his chances with her.
"Hey, if you bring your "A" game to the table, you should be able to overcome that tiny obstacle", I told him.
"Don't worry", he said, "I'll get her to go out with me. I'll take her out to dinner this Wednesday on her day off."
"Whatever you say, Bill", I said.
"You don't believe me, do you? I'll bet you two hundred dollars that it'll happen."
"I don't want to take your money", I said.
"Let's bet. Or are you afraid?".
"Bill", I replied, " I'm not a betting man, but this will be like stealing medication from a little old lady who lives by herself in a crummy little apartment. Not only will I take this bet, I will do so eagerly."
We shook on it, but in my experience a handshake is hardly binding, so I didn't fully expect him to pay up when the time came. But I did know with absolute certainty that I would not lose the bet. I told Bill that I would take Kim out to dinner with my winnings. And on the same night he planned on taking her out.
When Bill asked Kim out, she rejected his offer, stating that she doesn't date coworkers. That was that. When I hit Bill up for the money, he claimed the bet was never on because of my throwing him under the bus about his girlfriend. What a cop out. Just to spite him, I'm thinking of taking Kim out to dinner anyway.
--
Someone I know just lost her father, which I'm sure has been a devastating experience. I don't know how it's done, what the etiquette is, but I ask those of you reading this to send a prayer, thought, or whatever, her way. Could be hard when you don't know who it is you're reaching out to, but just forget about all that and do it. I'm still not completely sure how the universe works, but I'm pretty sure this could help.
--
I'm tempted to get some sushi tonight. I've been impressed with the sushi department at Shaws and even though I just had some last night, I might go for a little round two action. Or, I may scrap that lame idea and have a gingerbread house instead. I'm not kidding around, by the way. If I was joking , you would have seen a LOL, or perhaps a ROTFL. If I see a gingerbread house at the store, I will buy and eat it. This, I swear to you and my word is bond.
On that note, I'm gone, baby, gone.
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