Over and over, we flatten the clover

I was talking with my sister last night about how she and my brother in law met and subsequently got married. I'd heard the story before, but I like to hear her retell it because I think it's a fine story and like an exceptional film or piece of music, it illustrates that beneath the often dull veneer of the daily grind, there is some kind of magic at play in our world which we still know so little about. It's good to be reminded of that every once in a while.

My sister had been single for a while. Her last boyfriend proved to be an asshole (something I had always felt, but took her a while to realize) and left her bitter and alone. She finished college and took a job teaching at a small school in a small town. Seeing that most of her coworkers were mostly older women, she feared that she would end up an old maid.

It didn't help that most of her friends had either settled down or moved away. I would try to console her (we had just entered the phase in our relationship where we actually got along), but to no avail. I had never seen her in such a funk.

She worked at the school for a month or two and adjusted to the environment. Her disposition had improved, but it was born from resignation. Rather than rebel against her new turn in life, she decided to embrace it. It was evident, though, that she would have preferred things to be different.

One day, a new teacher arrived at the school. He was introduced to my sister, and within a span of a few days, he asked her out. She agreed to go out with him and that night at dinner, she couldn't contain her excitement. Kate has never been prone to excitement. In spite of having a great sense of humor and robust laugh, for the most part she's a fairly introspective, quiet individual. It usually takes her a while to warm up to people. So, seeing her practically giddy at the dinner table that night was out of the ordinary. I wondered if her time being single had made her desperate.

Kate and Rich had been dating for a couple of weeks when she broke the news that they were engaged. My family was stunned. What was she thinking? Her previous relationships had been long ones and here she was engaged after two weeks and I still hadn't met Rich yet. This was so uncharacteristic of Kate, that I was starting to really believe that she had grown desperate and that her sense of perspective had gone cloudy. Still, though, I did my best to reserve judgement until I met Rich.

I got my chance a few days later. He came by to pick her up and before he arrived, I discovered I was predisposed to dislike the guy. I guess I wasn't doing such a good job at reserving judgement. I was suspicious, to be sure, about a guy who, after knowing someone for only a couple of weeks, asked her to marry him. I worried that he was a con artist and didn't want my sister to get hurt. My worries were allayed when he walked in the door.

I couldn't help but like Rich the moment I met him. If he was a con artist, he was a damn good one. He was so easy going and relaxed; I could see why my sister took to him so quickly. The two of them sat with me at the kitchen table and told me the story of how he proposed to her.

They had been dating for a couple of weeks and things were going exceptionally well. One day while Kate was addressing her kindergartners, Rich walked into the room with a bouquet of roses. He didn't say a word as he placed one on each of the children's desks. He then came to the head of the class and addressed the students.

He proceeded to tell them about love, about how two people can become so intertwined, so enraptured with each other, that spending the rest of their lives together is as natural a thing to do as laughing at a joke or enjoying a cookie. Love, he told them, is the basis of all existence. It's in every corner, every crack, under every rock, in the darkest of places. It's not always easy to spot, but it's there. Sometimes it will seem, especially when things aren't going very well, that it doesn't exist at all. But it's always there, and it will remind you of that fact when you least expect it.

"When I first came to this school", he said, "I didn't expect to find love. Chasing you guys around occupied all of my attention. No, I never in my wildest dreams could have predicted I'd be up here in front of you guys, with my knees shaking, about to ask the woman I absolutely cannot live without to marry me."

With that, Rich knelt before my sister and asked for her hand in marriage. Teary-eyed, she accepted and the children erupted in applause.

They got married the following June and then got divorced two months later. Okay, they never got divorced. They're still together ten years and four kids later. And they're still each other's best friend, still very much in love.

I keep that story in my memory like a picture in a wallet. I pull it out every once in a while and reflect upon it fondly.